Safari Page #5

I'm flattered you trusted me.

I get it.

Didn't see that coming.

Nicole, you're so terractive.

Dad?

It can't be.

It can't be.

Last night, I had an incredible

encounter. A giraffe!

Fantastic.

Morning everyone.

Sleep well?

Bertrand,

how old do you think Remi is?

I don't know, 21, 22, 23.

Why do you ask?

No reason.

Morning, Magalie.

Sleep well?

Feeling better?

You had us worried yesterday.

You all right?

I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Just fine.

If not, you should tell us.

Really, I'm fine.

Magalie, where are we?

What country?

Africa?

Good.

And temperatures are...

Hot.

She's cured. All is well.

Come on, Magalie.

Still a long way to go.

Hot out today.

Hakuna matata.

Something wrong?

I'm fine.

Wait up.

Here, it's all I have left.

Want me to be lookout?

No, I'll manage.

Take five.

Benoit's going to poop.

Why do you say that?

So they'll know.

Excuse me, Fabienne.

Don't be mad.

I feel like I've met you, too.

It's eating at me.

- Eating at you?

- Yes.

Naturally.

It's taken!

What's taking him?

Maybe he's barefoot, or unscrewed.

Relapse.

The mountain is our friend.

Respect it, or it gets even.

Let's call the ski patrol.

Right, that's what we do!

Not nice, Fabienne.

Just a little fun.

What?

Nothing.

All right, let's move out.

No other road?

Sure,

we can go around.

It's only 30 feet across.

It's hot. A swim will do us good.

The faster the better.

- Can everyone swim?

- Yeah, let's go.

OK, everyone follow me.

Feels good.

Can we stay a while?

No, keep going! Hurry!

Remi! Come on!

I'm taking my shoes off! Fungus!

No, come on!

OK, I'm coming. Don't get upset.

Hurry up!

Come on! Quick!

Get out of there! Right now!

Dacier!

Crocodiles!

Help!

Bako, help!

Float on your back!

Remi!

Float on your back!

Richard!

On your back!

On your back, kid!

- They'll eat him!

- First the arms, so he can't swim.

I can't.

Bako, I can't hang on!

Don't let go!

Don't let go, Richard!

Swim!

I'll never come back

to the bush.

Never!

Dacier?

He gave his life for yours.

I can't believe it.

He was with us 2 minutes ago.

We never got to say farewell.

Only knew you a little Richard.

Sorry.

It just came out.

If we're still alive

on this glacier,

it's thanks to him.

Well, he did get us

into this sh*t.

Seriously, as soon as someone dies

people think he's great.

I say it's a little hypocritical.

Ready to go?

Dacier?

You thawed out?

Thanks for all you said,

while I was dead.

Except for you. That wasn't so hot.

Excuse me, I'd like to speak

to Richard a moment.

I know. It's no use saying it.

Yes, it is.

My name is Remi Perronne.

If you'd stayed in France,

I would be Remi Dacier.

Can I hug you?

Well...

I get it. You're timid.

So am l.

Must be hereditary.

No, go ahead. I want you to.

Dad.

Dad.

I missed you so much.

Stop.

You didn't even know I existed.

But I knew something was missing.

My little kid.

I'm not a little kid!

Everything OK?

I just had a child.

Right, of course.

Why do I bother asking?

So tell me,

do I have grandparents?

They've been gone a long time.

My dad went into the bush, after

an elephant wounded by poachers.

He never came back.

My mom never recovered,

died 5 years later.

I came back to run the business,

in my own way.

Is it still far?

According to my maps, not far.

How far is not far? I'm tired!

Well logically, right now,

we should be...

- In the desert.

- Sh*t.

Not on my map.

It's not on my map!

Sure, but we're here.

The snow is so dry.

Quit it, Magalie. Please.

Magalie.

Come back, my love.

Don't give up.

Who are they?

We're naked.

Dacier?

What will they do?

I don't know,

doesn't seem like a barbecue.

This isn't good.

How do you feel?

I'm sore, like I've been skiing

for a week.

Hear that? They're Waoolites.

No, that's not possible.

No, not the bag!

Not the bag!

Not the money!

Bako.

Betty Love.

No. Not here.

Marie-Antoinette, Queen of Spain,

your time has come.

Prepare to die by firing squad!

Do you have a last wish?

Yes.

One last taste of love's pleasures.

Well?

Marie-Antoinette,

Spain, firing squad?

Queen of France,

she was guillotined.

Are you sure?

And it's a Trojan horse,

not a Trojan condom.

That was my last film. I'm done.

Wait.

You must read this.

What is it?

A masterpiece.

I cried.

What's it about?

It's about a man with no past,

bit by a radioactive rabbit.

And then?

He turns into...

a fantastic lay.

Ride-her-man!

I really need a vacation.

Betty Love!

Oh right, OK...

No, I never heard of that.

Oh yes! Oh yes!

Harder, faster!

I never would've guessed.

I must have been mixed up.

I'm guessing she's a divinity

around here.

- Who to?

- Popopopay.

Two P's?

The Davinci Load?

Oh I see. Very classy.

Now you know who I am.

Can I say something?

Sorry to get you into this.

You had no choice.

You're good, you'll get out of this.

I doubt it. They burned the money.

Can I say something?

I can't explain. All that money...

I started dreaming.

Drama classes,

a new life.

Without porn.

I acted once with clothes on.

A nice film.

I played a lighthouse keeper.

But that...

No one ever mentions it.

So there you are.

I'm sorry.

You're forgiven.

That's my son, my flesh and blood.

He's right.

That took courage.

Yes, you're really fine.

I mean good.

Fantastic.

You'll get Bako back.

You're forgetting.

We're far from Johannesburg.

Looks a little like Beauvais.

Could we have our room keys?

Tuesday, 12 PM

- Glad to see you.

- Me neither.

The money.

You're a sensible man.

Yes, I've taken precautions.

- Meaning?

- You closed it too quickly.

Tricky.

Bako.

I don't play around with dufuses.

Good drink?

- What do you care?

- It was poisoned.

The antidote is in the case.

I have the combination.

Cute.

You think you're Jack Bauer?

No, he gets 24 hours.

You have barely 10 minutes.

Aren't you feeling warmer?

I never saw

such a poor bluff.

Remember, 10 minutes ago...

I saw you take pictures of her!

I did not!

You're a pervert! You're sick!

I'm filing for divorce!

I'm allowed to photograph

a female chimp!

Pictures fine, but not ogling them!

Honey...

Excuse me.

Does this hotel have a massage room?

I think so. Probably.

I tried champagne massage once.

Good for the breasts.

Want a drink?

- You a hooker?

- You're clever!

From the lady.

Want to toast?

A thousand for a half hour.

They were all..?

My tourists.

You have 5 minutes.

Chouchou.

Let Bako go.

- Let him go.

- Let me speak to him.

Give him the phone!

Bako? Meet me at the lagoon.

The f***ing combination!

Last 3 numbers

of Chouchou's license plate.

Chouchou?

It's in the lot. I never look.

Chouchou!

My money.

My money!

That dufus f***ed us.

He f***ed us, Chouchou!

Then the blueball monkeys.

And the crocodiles

who kept us from crossing the river!

The bus blew up.

The Waoolites knew...

The funniest was when Benoit

gave Charles the warm Banga.

Hey, you're forgetting

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