Sailor Beware Page #2

and I don't want no goldbricking.

Excuse me, handsome.

Where do you get

that "handsome" stuff?

Didn't I hear the man call you

a pretty officer?

He said, "Petty officer."

Okay, look alive, now.

Get going. Keep moving.

What's the matter?

I'm seasick already.

Oh, come here.

Oh, boys.

Boys!

Come on. Come on.

Pardon me, gentlemen,

but you are keeping the Navy waiting.

If you will kindly pass through the gates,

we'll try to make your life

comfortable and cozy.

Come up and see us sometime.

Get going, you dumb clucks!

On the double. You're in the Navy now!

Step up. Right up here.

You're done.

- Hey, give me that.

- Don't yell. I'm nervous.

- What do they want me here for?

- They want a sample of your blood.

Who's giving samples?

Blood isn't dress goods.

You say, "Snip off a swatch."

You wanna see if it matches

the living room drapes.

Don't get excited.

Well, blood isn't orange juice.

What do they wanna do, sample it?

And if they like it,

come back tomorrow for two quarts?

They want a sample so they can type it.

They're not gonna type with my blood.

Let them use a typewriter ribbon.

- Ma!

- Hey, Melvin!

- Ma!

- Hey, get back in line there.

Do you have an appointment?

Would you mind waiting just a minute?

What's the matter?

Aren't you housebroken?

Hey, you don't use makeup, do you?

No, just a little lipstick.

Oh, I'm glad. What's your name?

Hilda Jones.

That's a coincidence. That's my name.

- Hilda?

- No, Jones. Melvin Jones.

- Where were you born?

- I don't know.

You don't know where you were born?

Oh, I thought you asked me

why was I born.

I was born in a bed, I think.

Don't you know?

How would I know?

I was just a little baby at the time.

Oh, come on, we're wasting time.

- Have you been at the bank before?

- Three times.

- Three times?

- I wanted to get a loan.

You wanted to borrow from the bank?

Well, I was a little short at the time.

I'd have paid it back

in a couple of months.

You should be ashamed of yourself,

trying to borrow blood

when it's so badly needed.

- Blood?

- Yes.

Everyone should donate

to the blood bank.

- What type are you?

- Oh, the quiet type.

- What type are you?

- Oh, the quiet type.

I go to bed at 9:00,

see a movie now and then,

read some books, play checkers.

No, I mean,

what kind of blood have you?

- Red.

- Oh, come on, we're wasting time.

I'll turn you over to the Red Cross nurse,

and she'll give you your orange juice.

- Orange juice?

- Yeah.

She'll give you a glass of orange juice,

and you give her a pint of blood.

Oh, that sounds like a fair exchange.

She gives me a glass of orange juice

and I give her...

A pint?

I haven't got any more samples, fellas.

I just gave it all away.

I'm scared. No, I'm scared.

Oh, come on, fellas.

- You still here?

- Yeah.

Did you expect me to be back

at my old job, singing in a nightclub?

Meet my agent. He gets 10%.

That's all for you.

All right, let's go. You're next.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, Melvin, this won't hurt you.

Go ahead.

- It won't hurt?

- It won't hurt.

- It won't hurt.

- No.

- What have you been doing?

- I've been to the blood bank.

Looks like your account's overdrawn.

Could I get fired for this?

No, but if you should see birds

following your ship,

don't bet they're seagulls, brother.

They're vultures.

Let me try that other arm.

You sure you're living?

Am I sure I'm living?

I don't know.

Made a hole in the wrong place.

I missed the hole, too.

- What's par for this course?

- All right, all right.

It don't have to be blood.

I'll take anything.

Let's turn him upside down.

Maybe it runs the other way.

Well, might as well give up, fellas.

We'll get blood if we have to dig all day.

What're you doing, patching a tire?

I never had so many needles stuck

in me in my whole life.

- Oh, I don't feel good.

- Oh, I'll get some water.

- You'll be all right.

- But I don't feel good.

- Oh, brace up now.

- I'm dizzy.

- No, you're all right.

- I'm all right.

Here, drink this.

I feel much better now.

Thank you very much.

I'm leaking. Oh, I'm leaking.

Oh, no! Oh, no! No, not that.

Oh, no! No, not that.

I never touched him.

All right, men, this is your new home.

Grab any bunk

and stow away your gear.

Hey, you, tuck in your skivvy shirt.

Well, what's that for?

This is my money belt, so I can save

all the money I earn in the Navy.

For what?

So I can study electronics

when I'm through with my enlistment.

I'm not gonna be foolish with my money

and gamble and drink it away.

Besides, I can't go out with girls.

Well, all right, come on.

Let's look for our bunks,

because the only thing

you'll be able to do around here

- in your spare time is sleep.

- Oh, here's a couple.

Okay, you take the top. Go ahead.

Throw the bag up there.

Hey, what...

Why, you... Let me up out of here.

- I ought to...

- All right, now, take it easy, Chief.

He didn't mean to. He slipped.

I'll take care of you later, Jones.

Come on, Melvin.

Why do I always get in trouble?

You know,

I thought you were gonna be my friend,

someone I could look up to,

someone to be real close to me.

Someone who'd stick by me

through thick or thin.

Now you think I'm stupid.

Don't cry, Melvin.

I don't think you're stupid.

That's funny. Everyone else does.

- Hey, Al?

- Yeah?

Do you think I'll ever get

to look like a sailor?

Sure. Why, in eight weeks

I won't know you from Admiral Halsey.

Arms out. Two-count exercise.

Keep your arms straight, your head up.

Keep your arms straight. Ready?

Begin! One, two, one, two.

- Up, down, up, down.

- One, two, one, two,

one, two, one, two, up, down, up, down,

one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two.

One, two and two.

Feet apart with a jump, arms sideward.

Place.

A four-count exercise

beginning with the left hand.

Four-count exercise

beginning with the left hand. Ready?

- Begin.

- Begin!

One, two,

three, four.

- One, two.

- Left up.

- Three, four.

- Right up.

Left up, right up.

A one, two and four.

Feet together with jump,

arms downward. Sink.

Arms sideward and upward.

Raise!

Ready? Begin!

One, two, down, up.

Down, up, a one, two.

Down, up, a one, two.

A one, two, one, two, one, two.

Down, up, down, up.

One, two, one, two, one, two.

Down. Up. Two and halt.

Palms together, turn,

arms sideward and downward. Sink.

Feet apart with a jump and neck.

- Fast.

- Fast.

Begin!

...two, three, four.

A one, two, three, four.

A one, two, three, four.

A one, two, three, four.

A one, two, three, four.

A one, two, three, four.

A one, two, three, four. A one, two.

Feet together with a jump,

arms downward. Sink.

Break rank, fall out

and get your clothes!

Break ranks!

Fall out, get your clothes! Dismissed!

All right, men, this is the procedure

for lowering a boat.

Muster crew,

remove cover and strongback.

See that the automatic plug is free.

Have painter forward outside of davits.

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