Salaam Namaste Page #5

- l love scrabble.

See ? l can't play scrabble.

My spellings suck. Monopoly ?

And think about it,

you'll never need to cook.

Nick, it's too hasty

Maybe..

But if we can't tolerate each other,

then we just go our separate ways. Simple

lt's not so simple Nick.

l'm sory.

Fine.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe there's nothing between us.

And even if there is, it'll go away.

Life moves on.

But ten years later,

when you wake up one morning..

to find a fat,

rich doctor snoring next to you..

won't you ask yourself,

Was there something there ?

Could something have happened ?

But then, there will be no answers

Because you didn't give it a chance.

Maybe Nick and Ambar

could've been something, maybe not..

but we'll never find out.

Amby ! Amby, it's Ron.

He's calling on the phone.

What do l do ? Come.

l won't ever have to cook ?

What ?

l won't ever have to cook ?

Not an omelette,

not even a cup of tea.

And separate rooms ?

Far away from each other.

Okay.

So, should we star looking for a house ?

Wow ! - Control yourself.

Let's talk this over first.

l don't the trust lndians.

What's that ?

Babes, what l always say about lndians ?

Sory ?

Exactly. Means,

l don't the trust lndians.

Hating Jaggu Yadav was,

is and always will be vey easy.

After migrating from Bihar to Mumbai,

it seemed for a while that..

he would never strike it rich.

He kept getting pushed around

from one place to the next.

Someone suggested going abroad and

driving a cab. And so he arrived in Melbourne

Then he won the lottey.

His luck took a turn for the better,

but his personality stayed the same

Hopefully you won't like him too much,

because he definitely doesn't like you

But you're lndian yourself, and..

l was lndian.. was.

Now, l'm Australian.

Get it, mate ? - Got it .

There are two kinds of lndians.

Babes, what the two

kinds of lndians are ?

Sory ?

Exactly. One, the kind you can't trust.

And two, the kind you can't tolerate.

Look, we just want to rent your house.

We don't want to cause any problems

l see that, l see that.

l can see you're Okay.

Nice, married couple.

Married couples l trust.

When did you get married ?

Soon.. - A week ago.

We thought it would happen soon,

then a week ago it suddenly happened

Quick engagement, instant marriage.

And kids ?

There wasn't really much time or

they would've happened as well

Funny guys.

Senses of humour . l like that.

Come, let me show you the house.

Babes.

Home the sweets' home.

What ?

What are you looking for ?

Nothing. Just checking to see if it opens.

This is not an lndian public loo

where things that are closed don't open..

and things that are open don't close.

This is Australia mate.

Open. Close. Okay, mate ?

Where's the other bathroom ?

Another bathroom.. what for ?

Just in case we have guests over..

- No guests.

l do not want any guests in here.

Looks here. Just the twos of you.

Babes. Tell them how much l hate guests.

Sory ?

Exactly.

Whether you agree or not, no guests.

So, you are wanting the house ?

Just a second.. - No second, only first.

Nice house, but this Crocodile Dundee

is making me nervous.

lt's not like we have to live with him.

Nice rooms. l want the bigger one.

The kitchen's quite cool as well.

Let me talk to him.

Crap ! You scared me.

l have that effect on the peoples.

lt's my personality.

So, you wanting the house ?

Well, Okay.

One year's rents in advance.

What ?

Translates, read my lips.

l need one year's rent in advance.

Babes. Don't l always take

the rents in the advance ?

Sory ?

Exactly ! - But why ?

Shor term memories, huh ?

- Mammaries ?

l don't trust lndians.

One year's rent in advance !

Does he think his dad owns

the place ? - No, he does

And where will you get the money from ?

- l encashed my bonds.

What ?

Nick, you'd saved that money

to star your own restaurant.

l know.

And how is Ambar getting the money ?

- She's taking a loan against her salay

l hope you guys know

what you're doing.

All this is happening so fast..

- Are you really saying this ?

One afternoon you meet five girls:

next morning you've married one of them

And l'm regretting it now.

You don't know these girls !

Firstly, their logic switch

is permanently off.

And if they ever switch it on by mistake,

the regulator always stays on zero

But that's true.

Amby, where do you want..

Has all the stuff arrived ?

Everything.

ls this.. staying up there ?

Yes, why ?

Ummm...no. lt's vey nice.

You're right.

l'll put it up in my bedroom.

Nick !

We are moving back together.

Are you Okay, podgy ?

- l'm all right, okay

Amby, guess what..

You okay, podgy ?

So, she turned her logic switch on ?

- No, l turned mine off.

Thought so. So the divorce is cancelled ?

- Absolutely. Cancel, cancel, cancel

Until when ? - Forever.

But still, please keep a room for me.

You never know when she'll kick me out

Sory buddy, that's Ambar's room.

- What do you mean ?

Which word didn't you understand,

Ambar or room ?

l didn't understand anything.

Dude ! You'll live in separate rooms ?

What's he saying in Hindi ?

ls he laughing at me ?

Yes, he's being vey rude.

They're living in together but in

different rooms. Can you believe it ?

Oh podgy-wodgy, stop it !

You guys can go to your separate rooms,

we're going to our single room

All right guys, see you man. Bye.

Living separately, can you believe it?

Two different rooms ! Unbelievable. !

Today's the first day so

you don't have to cook dinner.

Wow, thanks boss.

Shall we order in?

Sure. What do you feel like having ?

Chinese ? Mexican ? lndian?

Pizza. A nice, hot, crispy, yummy pizza.

My mouth's watering.

You don't like pizza ?

No, it's not that. l only..

- Forget it. Let's get something else.

No, l'm fine with pizza.

l've had pizza. l..

Nick, you don't have

to like everything that l do.

But l like pizza.

l owe you three dollars.

- You had only one slice, so one dollar.

Okay

Let's settle accounts on Sunday ?

Fine.

And this one's my treat.

Wow. Thank you.

What do l get ?

One second.

Ambar, meet Romeo.

Romeo, meet Ambar.

Oh, Romeo says hi.

- Hi Romeo. Where's Juliet ?

ln my room.

But don't wory Romeo.

Nothing will happen

between us in your absence.

l don't think he's listening to you.

He's checking me out.

l was afraid of that.

Oi ! Behave yourself.

lf Romeo misbehaves with me,

it's going to be your fault.

Come on Romeo, let's get to know

each other. Say good night to Nick.

Are you sleeping ?

l've got to go to the

radio station in the morning.

Oh, Okay, l'll clear this up.

- Let it be. We'll clear up in the morning.

Let me guess, if we don't clean up now,

you won't be able to sleep all night ?

No, no, nothing like that.

We'll do it in the morning.

Where are you going ?

lf you can tolerate my pizza,

l can definitely tolerate cleaning up.

My sister got married

when she was eighteen.

By the time she was my age,

she had two kids.

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