Salaam Namaste Page #6

l saw her life.. housework,

cooking, looking after the kids.

Weren't you being forced to mary ?

- Of course.. you've graduated now..

all the nice boys will get married..

it's our last responsibility.

l got all of that.

You fought with them

and came here ? - Yes.

Four years ago.

Dad was vey angy.

l think Mom understands, but she

doesn't have the courage to speak out

Do you talk to them ?

- Mom calls me on the sly sometimes.

But l haven't heard

Dad's voice in four years.

l've got only one life Nick.

l want to live it for myself.

Believe me, l understand.

Done. Can l go to sleep now ? - Sure.

l hope at least some

of our habits match.

They will.

l can't believe you don't like pizza.

l like pizza. Sometimes.

Good night.

Good night.

You don't need to latch the door.

lf l didn't trust you,

l wouldn't have agreed to live with you.

Good night.

Good night.

Keep it low.

You'll wake up Crocodile Dundee.

l swear. What a guy !

And that strange girl

who stays with him.

What's that ?

Sory ?

Exactly.

l still think l love you.

Tell me in the morning.

Stop staring.

Sory.

How come you're up so early ?

- Thanks to a whole lot of alarms.

Why ?

So that l could see you go from

the bathroom to the bedroom.

Right.

You know something..

you look beautiful.

Thank you.

And you smell great.

Thank you. Now l'm shy,

and l'm going to go to my room.

Listen.

Have you got ten minutes ?

Why ?

Tell me. Just ten minutes ?

Yes.

Good. Come with me.

l can't believe you woke up

specially to make me breakfast.

Breakfast is the most

imporant meal of the day.

You'll eat a proper

breakfast evey day now.

Think about it.

You'll have to get up early

evey morning. - l'll get used to it.

Oh God l'm really late.

Wait.

Have you got ten seconds ?

l've got to go. Bye !

Frustrated yet smiling.

l just don't understand women, yaar !

l mean, if you don't want an

answer then why ask the question ?

lt's unbelievable, yaar !

Thrice, thrice l told her.

No, you haven't put on weight !

And then she stared up again.

Say swear, say swear. So l said..

lt's okay if you've put on a couple of kilos.

Doesn't make a difference to me.

Oh ! Wrong answer ! - l know, l know

That's where the whole fight began.

And then our families got involved.

How ?

We stared abusing each other's families.

What ?

And you won't believe

what she did after that.

She bloody stared throwing

biscuits at me, yaar.

And not the whole packet.

She was throwing them one by one..

aiming each one at me !

- Crap ! So what did you do ?

Ate them all.

She kept throwing and l kept eating.

What ?

l know it sounds funny.

When you're angy it all makes sense.

Then ?

- Then, she ran out of biscuits.

And began cying.

l want to go to my mom's house,

l don't love you, l don't want to be here

So l thought it's Thursday night,

boys' night out, let her go.

l'll apologise tomorrow. Besides,

what would she do here anyway ?

You should've called her.

Nick ! Boys' night out !

You and me are boys !

And l'm married to Cathy.

l know, she's not a boy.

Hi boys

Hi. What are you doing here ?

Why ? Nick asked me.

Boys' night out, yaar!

- She was at Simone's, round the corner.

l said we'll go home together.

Why ? ls there a problem ?

No. - No, no problem at all, just that..

if l'd known you'd be here, l'd have

called Cathy as well for the boy's night out

How was your day ?

- College was bad.

You want some sushi ?

- No thanks.

Listen, have l put on weight ?

Put on ?

l think you need to gain a few kilos.

Really ?

The goods mornings.

Goods morning.

l likes.

You're learning how

to speak correct English.

When in the Rome, do the Romans.

By way, where the goings ?

l'm going to work.

Damn goods you work.

l like working women a lot.

Babes, what l always say

about woman-working ?

Sory ?

Exactly.

You miss the spots there.

Sory ?

Sory, sory !

You missed the bloody spots there.

You are wanting the Dundee daddies

to give you spanking on your bums ?

Ghost of the kicks not

listening to talks.

So where's the husbands ?

Sory ?

Exactly. Your husbands. The Nicks.

Oh, the Nicks. He's sleeping.

Wife working, husband jerking.

Sleeping.

Same to same.

Okay, l'm running late for work.

Have a good day.

l never play.

Husbands..?

Amby ! Hey, Amby..

- Yes my dear Jignesh ?

What are you doing ?

Let's watch a movie.

Sory, l've got to meet Nick.

- Hello !

Ever since this Nikhil Arora

has entered your life..

But seriously, take some

time out for your friends.

Oh, oh my god l'm late.

Must be Nick.

Hey Nick.

Who's this ?

This, my dear man, is Jignesh.

Where's Amby ?

- She's right here.

And if you don't mind may she

watch a movie with me, please ?

lt's her life. Why should l mind ?

Hey Nick. Don't listen to him,

l'm coming.

No listen, that's why l called.

l won't be able to make it.

l've got to make the provisions

list for this month with Dheka.

You cary on with Jignesh.

- No, no. l've got to shop for the house.

l'll see you at home.

- l'll be late.

l'll be waiting.

Oh ! Jesus Christ !

l thought you'd be asleep by now.

- Not before you come home.

l'll be late evey night.

- l'll get used to it.

Hey, the house looks amazing.

- Thanks.

You did all this in one day ?

Aren't the curains

too silk-satiny ?

And what are these candles for ?

We never have power cuts here

You aren't even slightly romantic

That's worse !

Shut up. l love these candles. Smell them.

What ? - Smell them.

They're scented candles.

Sory.

You don't like anything, do you ?

No ! l love it.

Difference number three.

Hello ? Hey Ron !

Hi Cathy.

What ?

That's great news !

Are you mad ?

Wow ! When did you find out ?

What was the bloody hury ?

What do you mean it just happened ?

Haven't you heard of protection ?

Oh Cathy, l'm so happy for you.

You don't know what you're getting into,

staying up nights, changing diapers.

And, and..

l know ! Seeing them walk for the

first time, hearing them speak.

Ron ! Your life's over.

Oh Cathy, this is such

a bright new chapter.

l'm going to come and see you

in the evening. Okay ? Bye !

l have no words, Ron. No, l have no words.

Nick !

Oh sh*t !

No, no it's fine.

ls it bleeding ?

Yes.

Oh, damn it.

Let me take a look.

No, no, it's all right.

- lt's not all right Nick.

lt's a really bad cut.

You need to see a doctor.

No ! No doctors ! Trust me.

lt's fine. - Nick,

you may need stitches.

lt's really bad.

- Stitches ? No, no, no stitches.

Listen, l know my system.

lt's all right.

Stop all that !

- Nick, stop being difficult.

You need a doctor.

No, No doctor please ! Okay ?

l don't like hospitals and doctors.

l am a doctor !

Stop moving.

lt'll burn ! - lt won't

lt will burn.

- You won't even know when it happens.

Right.

Okay shut your eyes

and think of something nice.

Like ? - Like anything..

something you like.

lmagine me, in a towel..

just coming out of the shower.

Yes.

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