Same Time, Next Year
Hello!
I dont even know
your name!
But I'm hoping
all the same!
This is more than
Just a simple hello!
Hello!
Do I smile
and look away!
No, I think I'll smile
and stay!
To see where
this might go!
'Cause the last time
I Felt like this!
I was Falling in love!
Falling and Feeling!
I'd never
Fall in love again!
Yes, the last time
I Felt like this!
Was long before I knew!
What I'm Feeling now!
With you!
Hello!
I can't wait
till we're alone!
Somewhere quiet
on our own!
So that we can Fall!
The rest of the way!
I know!
That before
the night is through!
I'll be talking love
to you!
Meaning every word!
I say!
Oh, the last time
I Felt like this!
I was Falling in love!
Falling and Feeling!
I'd never
Fall in love again!
Yes, the last time I Felt
like this! The very last time!
Was long before I knew!
What I'm Feeling now!
With you!
Come on, dam n it.
Hi.
U h... hello.
That's a real
sharp-lookin' outfit.
What time is it? My
watch is on the bed table.
- Ten to 12:
00?- No, no, it's 8:25.
The stem is broken.
It's three hours
and 25 minutes fast.
Why dont you
get it fixed?
I was going to,
but I got used to it.
Doesn't it mix you up?
No, I'm very quick with figures. Oh.
Why are you looking
at me like that?
Why do you have to
look so luminous?
if you woke up with puffy eyes...
and blotchy skin
like everyone else.
chubby thighs were enough.
Look, this isn't gonna just go
away. We have to talk about this.
Okay.
Where you going?
Dorothy, sit down.
Oh, by the way-
No, please, sit.
Dorothy,
in the first place,
I want you to know that what happened
last night was the most beautiful,
wonderful, crazy thing
that's ever happened to me,
or you.
Doris.
What?
My name is Doris.
Your name is Doris?
Yes.
I've been calling you
Dorothy all night. I know.
Why didnt you tell me earlier? I
didn't know we were gonna end up-
And then I did try and tell
you, but you weren't listening.
When?
It was right in the middle
of everything.
It was incredible,
wasn't it?
It was... nice.
I mean, especially
the last time.
I know,
I'm an animal.
I don't know
what came over me.
I mean, I was- what- Wait, what
was wrong with the first two times?
Well, the first time
was a little fast.
And, um,
the second time-
Listen, I really feel funny
talking about this.
It was a very beautiful
thing, Doris.
There was nothing ugly or
disgusting about what we did.
Then how come you look
so down in the dumps?
Because my wife
is going to kill me.
Well, how's she gonna find
out? She knows already.
-You said she was in New Jersey.
-It doesn't matter. She knows.
How?
Was it as incredible for you
as it was for me?
Do all men like to talk
about it a lot afterwards?
Why? You think I'm some kind
of a pervert or something?
Oh, no!
I was just curious.
See, I was a virgin when I got
married. Well, at least sort of.
Sort of?
Well, I was pregnant,
but I don't count that.
Doris, that counts!
No, I mean it was by the man that
I married. Oh, I see. I'm sorry.
Oh, that's all right. See, Harry
and me were gonna get married anyway.
a little bit.
It turns out I get pregnant
if we drink out of the same cup.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
I-I-I-I'm fine.
I'm all right.
Doris?
What?
I think I'm in love
with you.
I mean, it's crazy.
It's really crazy.
I don't even know if youve
read Catcherin the Rye.
Oh, no, I didn't even finish
high school. There. You see?
I don't even care, and I'm
really a snob about education.
Of course, I should have
known this would happen.
When it comes to life, I have
a brown thumb. What do you mean?
I mean nothing I ever do
turns out right.
First time
- First time I had sex, I was 18 years old.
We were in the backseat
Right in the middle of it,
we were rear-ended.
Oh. And you didn't have
any insurance?
No, that's not exactly
what I mean. I mean-
Oh.
Look, take last night.
You know what the radio was
playing while we were making love?
No. "If l Knew You Were
Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake."
So? So that's gonna be our song.
Is it?
No.
I mean, other people would have gotten
"Be My Love" or "Some Enchanted Evening."
Me, I get "If l Knew You Were
Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake."
What is it?
I really want to
take a bath now.
Oh, I'm so-
Oh, I see. I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Yeah. Okay. Oh, sure. I'll-
I'll wait out- I'll be out-
Wow!
We're in big trouble, Doris. Huh?
fallen in love with you.
- You wanna know what kind of luck I have?
- Yeah.
I'm happily married!
Are you Jewish?
No.
Then how come you feel so
guilty? Dont you feel guilty?
You kidding? Half my
rules about this sort of thing.
Oh, yeah, we have rules
about everything.
That's what's so great
about being Catholic.
You always know
where you stand.
I tell you, Doris, I feel
like slitting my wrists.
- Are you Italian?
- What's with you and nationalities?
Nothing.
Youre just so emotional.
I happen to be a C.P.A.
Oh?
I could be as logical
as the next person. Oh.
Well, you don't strike me
as the accountant type.
It's very simple. My whole
life has been a mess.
Figures always
come out right.
What are you?
Oh, I'm Irish.
Well, they're emotional. Why arent you
yelling or crying or something?
I did all of that before
in the bathroom.
Crying?
Nope. Yelling.
I didn't hear you. I
stuffed a towel in my mouth.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
No sense crying
over spilt milk.
Yeah, you're right.
How come we feel
so terrible?
Because we're two decent, honest people,
and this thing is tearing us apart.
I mean, I know it wasn't our fault, but I-
I keep seeing the faces of my children
and the look of betrayal in their eyes.
I keep thinking
about my marriage vows,
the trust my wife
has placed in me...
and all the experiences
we've shared together.
And you know
the worst part of it all?
What?
While I'm thinking
all this,
I have this fantastic
hard-on.
I really wish
you hadn't said that.
I'm sorry. I think we should be
totally honest with each other.
It's not that. It's that
I have to go to confession.
You know-
W-We're both crazy.
You know that, don't you?
I mean, this sort of thing happens
every day to millions of people.
You don't use actual names
in confession, do you? No.
Doris, may I
ask you something?
Sure.
Would you go to bed
with me again?
Oh, George, I can't.
Why not? 'Cause we'd just
feel worse afterwards.
Oh, no. I'm over that now.
I just remembered something.
What? The Russians have the bomb.
We could all be dead
tomorrow.
George, I think you're clutching at straws.
Doris, dont you understand? No.
We're two
grown-up people.
We have absolutely nothing
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"Same Time, Next Year" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/same_time,_next_year_17395>.
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