Same Time, Next Year

Hello!

I dont even know

your name!

But I'm hoping

all the same!

This is more than

Just a simple hello!

Hello!

Do I smile

and look away!

No, I think I'll smile

and stay!

To see where

this might go!

'Cause the last time

I Felt like this!

I was Falling in love!

Falling and Feeling!

I'd never

Fall in love again!

Yes, the last time

I Felt like this!

Was long before I knew!

What I'm Feeling now!

With you!

Hello!

I can't wait

till we're alone!

Somewhere quiet

on our own!

So that we can Fall!

The rest of the way!

I know!

That before

the night is through!

I'll be talking love

to you!

Meaning every word!

I say!

Oh, the last time

I Felt like this!

I was Falling in love!

Falling and Feeling!

I'd never

Fall in love again!

Yes, the last time I Felt

like this! The very last time!

Was long before I knew!

What I'm Feeling now!

With you!

Come on, dam n it.

Hi.

U h... hello.

That's a real

sharp-lookin' outfit.

What time is it? My

watch is on the bed table.

- Ten to 12:
00?

- No, no, it's 8:25.

The stem is broken.

It's three hours

and 25 minutes fast.

Why dont you

get it fixed?

I was going to,

but I got used to it.

Doesn't it mix you up?

No, I'm very quick with figures. Oh.

Why are you looking

at me like that?

Why do you have to

look so luminous?

It would make things easier

if you woke up with puffy eyes...

and blotchy skin

like everyone else.

I guess God just figured that

chubby thighs were enough.

Look, this isn't gonna just go

away. We have to talk about this.

Okay.

Where you going?

I wanna brush my teeth.

Dorothy, sit down.

Oh, by the way-

No, please, sit.

Dorothy,

in the first place,

I want you to know that what happened

last night was the most beautiful,

wonderful, crazy thing

that's ever happened to me,

and I'll never forget it

or you.

Doris.

What?

My name is Doris.

Your name is Doris?

Yes.

I've been calling you

Dorothy all night. I know.

Why didnt you tell me earlier? I

didn't know we were gonna end up-

And then I did try and tell

you, but you weren't listening.

When?

It was right in the middle

of everything.

It was incredible,

wasn't it?

It was... nice.

I mean, especially

the last time.

I know,

I'm an animal.

I don't know

what came over me.

I mean, I was- what- Wait, what

was wrong with the first two times?

Well, the first time

was a little fast.

And, um,

the second time-

Listen, I really feel funny

talking about this.

It was a very beautiful

thing, Doris.

There was nothing ugly or

disgusting about what we did.

Then how come you look

so down in the dumps?

Because my wife

is going to kill me.

Well, how's she gonna find

out? She knows already.

-You said she was in New Jersey.

-It doesn't matter. She knows.

How?

Was it as incredible for you

as it was for me?

Do all men like to talk

about it a lot afterwards?

Why? You think I'm some kind

of a pervert or something?

Oh, no!

I was just curious.

See, I was a virgin when I got

married. Well, at least sort of.

Sort of?

Well, I was pregnant,

but I don't count that.

Doris, that counts!

No, I mean it was by the man that

I married. Oh, I see. I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right. See, Harry

and me were gonna get married anyway.

That just speeded things up

a little bit.

It turns out I get pregnant

if we drink out of the same cup.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

I-I-I-I'm fine.

I'm all right.

Doris?

What?

I think I'm in love

with you.

I mean, it's crazy.

It's really crazy.

I don't even know if youve

read Catcherin the Rye.

Oh, no, I didn't even finish

high school. There. You see?

I don't even care, and I'm

really a snob about education.

Of course, I should have

known this would happen.

When it comes to life, I have

a brown thumb. What do you mean?

I mean nothing I ever do

turns out right.

First time

- First time I had sex, I was 18 years old.

We were in the backseat

of a parked 1938 Dodge sedan.

Right in the middle of it,

we were rear-ended.

Oh. And you didn't have

any insurance?

No, that's not exactly

what I mean. I mean-

Oh.

Look, take last night.

You know what the radio was

playing while we were making love?

No. "If l Knew You Were

Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake."

So? So that's gonna be our song.

Is it?

No.

I mean, other people would have gotten

"Be My Love" or "Some Enchanted Evening."

Me, I get "If l Knew You Were

Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake."

What is it?

I really want to

take a bath now.

Oh, I'm so-

Oh, I see. I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Yeah. Okay. Oh, sure. I'll-

I'll wait out- I'll be out-

Wow!

We're in big trouble, Doris. Huh?

I really think I've

fallen in love with you.

- You wanna know what kind of luck I have?

- Yeah.

I'm happily married!

Are you Jewish?

No.

Then how come you feel so

guilty? Dont you feel guilty?

You kidding? Half my

high school became nuns.

I guess the Catholics have

rules about this sort of thing.

Oh, yeah, we have rules

about everything.

That's what's so great

about being Catholic.

You always know

where you stand.

I tell you, Doris, I feel

like slitting my wrists.

- Are you Italian?

- What's with you and nationalities?

Nothing.

Youre just so emotional.

I happen to be a C.P.A.

Oh?

I could be as logical

as the next person. Oh.

Well, you don't strike me

as the accountant type.

It's very simple. My whole

life has been a mess.

Figures always

come out right.

What are you?

Oh, I'm Irish.

Well, they're emotional. Why arent you

yelling or crying or something?

I did all of that before

in the bathroom.

Crying?

Nope. Yelling.

I didn't hear you. I

stuffed a towel in my mouth.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

No sense crying

over spilt milk.

Yeah, you're right.

How come we feel

so terrible?

Because we're two decent, honest people,

and this thing is tearing us apart.

I mean, I know it wasn't our fault, but I-

I keep seeing the faces of my children

and the look of betrayal in their eyes.

I keep thinking

about my marriage vows,

the trust my wife

has placed in me...

and all the experiences

we've shared together.

And you know

the worst part of it all?

What?

While I'm thinking

all this,

I have this fantastic

hard-on.

I really wish

you hadn't said that.

I'm sorry. I think we should be

totally honest with each other.

It's not that. It's that

I have to go to confession.

You know-

W-We're both crazy.

You know that, don't you?

I mean, this sort of thing happens

every day to millions of people.

You don't use actual names

in confession, do you? No.

Doris, may I

ask you something?

Sure.

Would you go to bed

with me again?

Oh, George, I can't.

Why not? 'Cause we'd just

feel worse afterwards.

Oh, no. I'm over that now.

I just remembered something.

What? The Russians have the bomb.

We could all be dead

tomorrow.

George, I think you're clutching at straws.

Doris, dont you understand? No.

We're two

grown-up people.

We have absolutely nothing

to be ashamed or afraid of.

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