Santa Baby

---

1

HE'S THE MAN

WITH ALL THE TOYS

SOMEONE FOUND:

THE LIGHTED HOUSE

LATE ONE NIGHT:

AND HE SAW:

THROUGH THE WINDOW

A SIGHT:

A BIG MAN:

IN A CHAIR:

AND LITTLE TINY:

MEN EVERYWHERE:

HE'S THE MAN

WITH ALL:

THE TOYS:

HE'S STAYING OUT

IN THE COLD:

AND WHEN HE LEFT

AS WE'RE TOLD

ABOUT THE MAN:

WITH ALL:

THE TOYS:

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS--

[yelps, groans]

THIS IS A NIGHTMARE.

WHAT?

COME ON, DONNA!

TIME TO HOOF IT!

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

WHATEVER.

Santa:
LITTLE HELP, HERE?

WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS TRAFFIC?

OH, THEY CLOSING DOWN

THE STREETS:

FOR THE PARADE TOMORROW.

PARADE? WHAT PARADE?

UM...THANKSGIVING.

Mary:
YOU CLOSE AN ENTIRE CITY

TO DO A 3-HOUR INFOMERCIAL

FOR DEPARTMENT STORES.

GOD, I WISH I WOULD

HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT.

OH, NO! EMAIL GRANT.

BUY US SOME TIME.

OH!

[cars honking]

HOLD IT!

[sighs]

[cell phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes again]

FOLEY, THIS CONSULTING GENIUS

OF YOURS IS RUNNING LATE.

I'M SURE SHE'LL BE HERE

ANY MINUTE, SIR.

IF THERE'S ONE THING

I'VE LEARNED,

IT'S THAT MARY CLASS

IS DEFINITELY WORTH THE WAIT.

OH, HEY. I NEED THE--

RIGHT HERE.

AND WHAT ABOUT THE--

HERE YA GO.

AND THE--

GOT IT.

ALL RIGHT!

AND HERE SHE IS NOW.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

MARY CLASS.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY.

MISS CLASS.

WE'RE ALL HERE, WAITING

TO BE IMPRESSED.

THESE ARE THE ANNUAL REPORTS

FOR YOUR MULTISAVE SUPERSTORES.

[STARTLED MURMURS]

Mary:
AND THAT'S WHERE

YOU'LL BE, A YEAR FROM NOW,

IF THOSE TRENDS CONTINUE.

MY FULL PROPOSAL'S

ALREADY IN YOUR EMAIL.

LET'S GO OVER THE BIG POINTS.

THIS IS THE MULTISAVE

OF TODAY.

BUT YOU KNOW THE PROBLEM.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SOLUTION.

WHAT COULD BE DONE

TO SAVE MULTISAVE?

MULTISAVE IS DONE.

FINISHED. EXTINCT.

IN ITS PLACE,

SAME LOCATION.

DIFFERENT ATTITUDE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

IT IS TIME TO:

REINTRODUCE YOURSELVES.

AND THAT MEANS GOING

AFTER THE YOUTH MARKET.

IT MEANS GETTING A MASCOT.

IT MEANS BRAND RECOGNITION.

YOU DON'T SELL...HATS.

YOU SELL SPOTLIGHT HATS.

YOU DON'T SELL TOASTERS.

YOU SELL SPOTLIGHT TOASTERS.

BOTTLED WATER?

SPOTLIGHT WATER.

MISS CLASS, YOU WANT US

TO THROW AWAY:

EVERYTHING WE'VE BUIL FOR OVER HALF A CENTURY.

MR. HAMILTON.

YOU CAN'T STAND IN

THE WAY OF PROGRESS.

THE NEW PARADIGM IS

DESTINATION SHOPPING.

INSTEAD OF GOING SHOPPING,

PEOPLE WILL BE GOING

TO SPOTLIGHT.

INSTEAD OF GOING

TO THE MALL,

PEOPLE WILL BE GOING

TO SPOTLIGHT.

SPOTLIGHT WILL BECOME

THE NUMBER ONE SHOPPING

EXPERIENCE.

THAT...

IN YOUR FUTURE.

[champagne cork, popping]

[clinking glass]

CONGRATULATIONS.

[chuckles]

AH, IT WAS NOTHING.

NOTHING?

HAMILTON'S SO IMPRESSED,

HE'S PUTTING ME IN CHARGE

OF NEW BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT.

SERIOUSLY?

MM-HM.

GRANT...

THAT IS FANTASTIC.

IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.

MM...

YOU'RE JUST AMAZING.

I DON'T DESERVE YOU.

[laughing]

[clearing throat]

DO YOU HAVE TO:

DO THAT RIGHT NOW?

NO. PLEASE. COME IN.

HERE'S THE REST OF

THE MULTISAVE PAPERWORK.

THANKS, DONNA. WE'VE GO A LOT OF WORK AHEAD OF US.

WELL, WE CAN GET A JUMP ON I OVER THE LONG WEEKEND.

WEEKEND?

THANKSGIVING?

WITH MY PARENTS?

[gasps] OH, GRANT.

WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.

YOU KNOW I'M NOT BIG--

ON HOLIDAYS.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

I JUST-- I HAVE

SO MUCH WORK TO DO.

I CAN'T AFFORD

A 4-DAY WEEKEND.

ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT DINNER

WHEN I GET BACK?

ALL RIGHT.

LUIGI'S? MONDAY?

NO, MONDAY'S NO GOOD.

LUNCH WEDNESDAY?

NO, I'VE GOT RACQUETBALL

WITH HARMON.

HOW ABOUT DRINKS?

[PDA beeps]

HM. NOT A CHANCE.

[PDA beeps]

BRUNCH SUNDAY?

[beeps]

COFFEE, 8:
30,

A WEEK FROM TUESDAY?

[beeps]

OOO. CAN WE MAKE IT 9:15?

[beeps]

DONE.

[beeps]

Grant:
WELL...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

I'M GONNA GET GOING, TOO.

OH! WAIT.

I GOT SOME...

HOMEWORK FOR YA.

I'LL GET IT DONE

ON MONDAY.

MONDAY? ARE YOU KIDDING?

WE GOTTA GET MOVIN'

ON THIS.

BUT TOMORROW'S

A NATIONAL HOLIDAY.

WHICH MEANS WE WON'T GE INTERRUPTED WHILE WE WORK.

[FAKE LAUGH]

SEE YOU IN:

THE MORNING.

SEE YA.

[screams]

[crash]

[finishes yawn]

[exhales hard]

[snores]

[parade music]

Donna:
WOW.

SLEEP MUCH?

I GOT A NAP.

I HAD TO GO 3 PLACES TO FIND

A LATTE ON THANKSGIVING.

THANKS.

OH, WHAT A MESS!

MESS?

IT'S ALL SORTED.

AD CAMPAIGN. MARKET RESEARCH.

LOGO TEST. P.R.

Donna:
YOU'RE AMAZING.

SCARY, BUT AMAZING.

I'LL START UPLOADING.

[phone rings]

CLASS CONSULTING.

OH. SURE.

ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.

IT'S YOUR MOTHER.

MY MOTHER?

[screams]

OH! AH! OH...

[groans]

[laughing]

THANKS.

MOM?

MOM, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

MOM, CALM DOWN.

OH, MY GOD.

OK.

[phone beeps off]

WHAT IS IT?

MY DAD. HE HAD

A HEART ATTACK.

OKAY. WE CONNECT IN

TORONTO BEFORE--

WHERE IS POLARIS, ANYWAY?

NORTH. FAR NORTH.

NO NO NO NO NO.

THE HEAVY COAT.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS IT.

NO. THE GREEN ONE.

WELL, I HOPE YOUR DAD'S

ALL RIGHT.

AH, HE'S A FORCE OF NATURE.

A HEART ATTACK WON' EVEN SLOW HIM DOWN.

THERE'S NO GREEN COA IN HERE.

THERE'S THIS SLEEPING BAG.

NO. THAT'S IT.

I CAN'T REALLY SEE YOU

WEARING SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

IT'S NOT FOR ME.

IT'S FOR YOU.

IT GETS VERY COLD

UP THERE. TRUST ME.

HEY. THANKS FOR

GOING WITH ME.

I KNOW IT'S NOT MUCH

OF A HOLIDAY.

WHERE YOU GO, I GO.

Mary:
YOU KNOW, THERE'S--

THERE'S SOMETHING THAT, UM,

YOU NEED TO KNOW

ABOUT MY FAMILY.

THEY'RE, UH-- DIFFERENT.

FAMILIES. IF YOU CAN'T BE

EMBARRASSED BY THEM,

WHAT GOOD ARE THEY?

YEAH. WELL, MY FOLKS

ARE KIND OF ON A WHOLE

OTHER LEVEL.

[festive crowd]

SAY CHEESE.

[group] CHEESE.

HEY, SVEN.

HAVE A GOOD THANKSGIVING?

SURE DID.

ME, TURKEY, AND THE BOYS.

HOW 'BOUT YOU?

ME, TURKEY, AND THE BOYS.

[laughing]

YEAH. THEY'RE GOOD

COMPANY, THOUGH, HUH?

YOU KNOW THEY'RE

JUST DOGS, RIGHT?

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

BUT DON'T TELL THEM THAT.

[chuckling]

MIND GIVING ME A HAND

WITH THE POLE?

UH, YEAH. SURE THING.

SURE THING.

GOTTA SALT THE ROAD.

YEAH...

THAT TIME OF YEAR,

RIGHT?

Sven:
YEAH.

[ringing bell]

OH. LOOKS LIKE YOU GO YOURSELF A CUSTOMER.

YEAH.

SEE YA.

SEE YA.

WHOA.

HI, LITTLE PUPPIES!

HE'S SO CUTE.

HI!

[dog whimpering]

HI, LITTLE GUY.

[laughing]

HEY.

OOH.

HEY, PUPPY.

HI!

WHOA...

HEY, LADIES.

CAN I HELP...?

HI, LUKE.

LONG TIME, NO SEE.

WELL, WELL.

LOOK WHO'S BACK.

IT'S, UM...

IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

YEAH, I'M, UM...

I'M HERE TO SEE MY DAD.

NOW LISTEN. DON'T WORRY.

YOUR OLD MAN, HE'S TOUGH.

HE'S NOT GONNA MISS A BEAT.

YEAH, WELL... THAT'S

WHAT I'M AFRAID OF.

[clears throat]

OH, THIS IS MY

ASSISTANT, DONNA.

HI.

ASSISTANT. WOW.

SO YOU REALLY GOT TO BE

THAT BIGSHOT AFTER ALL, HUH?

WE WERE HOPIN'

TO GET A RIDE.

YEAH. SURE.

WHY NOT?

I WAS HEADIN'

THAT WAY.

HEY, UM...

REFRESH MY MEMORY.

WHAT IS IT YOU SAY

TO GET THE DOGS GOING?

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

MUSH.

[dogs barking]

[laughing]

[moaning]

[laughing]

I CAN'T BELIEVE

I FELL FOR THAT.

AGAIN?

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE.

SURE ABOUT THAT?

[shivering]

Guys?

FREEZING, HERE.

MUSH! MUSH!

[dogs howling]

Luke:
HIKE!

HIKE! HIKE!

HIKE! HIKE!

COME ON! HIKE!

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