Santa Hunters Page #3

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He's coming up the stairs.

Look, he's in my room.

Lights!

Time for...

Lobo cam, yeah.

Lobo cam inserted.

We've got movement.

It's in my bed.

Why does it have to be in my bed?

Those sheets are 10,000

thread-count Egyptian cotton.

Stay on target.

Richard, recon. Zoey, you're my eyes.

What are you?

Natasha! What is go...

What... No, no, no. It's a toy.

Honey hugs, it's a toy.

It's... Look. It's... Look. It's just a...

It's just a nice little toy.

Look at that.

Who is behind this sick joke?

What's happening? Talk to me. Zoey!

Mission compromised. Fall back! Fall back!

What the figgy pudding

is going on out here?

You scared Natasha halfway to Arbor Day.

Charlie, is that you?

Please don't bust us, Uncle Charlie.

I can explain.

Uh, yeah, it's just us, Mom.

Uh, the roads were icy, so we came back.

Safety first.

I heard screaming.

Yeah, that was, uh...

That was just Natasha.

Yeah, yeah, Grandpa forgot to flush again.

Okay, glad you came back, honey.

All right. Night, Ma.

Thank you.

Look at what their hijinks has done.

I'm breaking out in hives.

It's... it's okay, snoogy-woogy.

It's... it's okay. Calm down.

I'll handle the kids.

This is how you handle kids.

Everyone to bed. You're grounded.

You can't ground us.

You don't have jurisdiction.

I'm an adult. I have implied powers.

No food, one month.

Wanna make it two? Okay, okay, hang on.

Hang on, snookums.

I'm sure the kids have a good reason

for whatever it is that they're doing.

We're conducting research.

Supernatural research.

Search and destroy.

We're on a Santa hunt.

A Santa hunt?

Coolness.

They're going... Nuh, hm... Yeah, no.

You can't hunt Santa. The man's unhuntable.

He's gone decades without getting caught.

Ooh, he's probably rocking some,

you know, some stealth technology or,

like, a...

Like,

a sled-cloaking device that no one can see.

Santa is a sham.

Blasphemy!

You don't know what you're talking about,

lady.

Oh, ho, ho, I know exactly

what I am talking about, child.

When Natasha was just a little girl,

she had one simple

request for Santa Claus...

A beautiful, pink princess doll.

Natasha was a good girl, very good.

Did she get what she wanted?

I'm gonna guess...

No! No, of course not!

Natasha found another doll

under the tree instead...

Military Mike.

Awesome toy! Sweet!

No, not sweet! Unsweetened.

I was the laughingstock of my village.

I blame this Santa Claus for my shame.

He owes me. Shame...

Kids, it's late.

But, Uncle Charlie,

we've got a real shot at this.

You're the reason for this

mission in the first place.

Remember?

Oh, yeah. We've got an extra headset.

We could use another true

believer on the team.

Yeah.

Santa, you're not gonna get away... Uh, no.

Look, you know what?

I am... I'm an adult, okay?

Charlie 2.0.

I'm just gonna...

All right, merry Christmas.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

You guys get all that?

Yeah, ow.

I never wanna end up on

Natasha's naughty list.

Maybe Uncle Charlie has a point.

Maybe we just can't hunt Santa.

I'm getting a little tired anyways,

and we have a big day ahead of us,

a day filled with presents and food.

Yeah. And did I mention

it's all about the presents?

Well, presents and... candy.

Are you all forgetting the

whole purpose of this mission?

It's to prove to people like that,

the nonbelievers, that they're wrong.

It was a good try, Alex, really good,

but it's time to shut it down

and take a long winter's nap.

Agreed.

Sorry, Alex.

Mission aborted.

Fine... go to bed.

Enjoy your dreams of sugarplum fairies.

If I gotta go lone wolf...

I'll go lone wolf.

I'm gonna see this thing through.

What's going on?

Christmas! It's happening. It's happening!

He's here.

I don't hear any foot...

Come on, guys, let's go!

The cookies, they're gone!

Lock it down. Lock it down now! Let's go!

Chimney secure. Repeat, chimney secure.

Front door secure.

Backdoor secure.

Windows are still glued shut.

Hunters, we have complete lockdown.

If he's here, he's trapped.

Whoa, whoa!

Zoey, talk to me.

We got a "Black Hawk Down"

sitch on the roof.

A what? Vixen is eating my drone!

That's an expensive piece of equipment,

and I don't have a gift receipt.

Hunters to battle stations.

This is real world, people, not a drill.

Creature is stirring.

Repeat, creature is stirring.

Santa tracks.

Code red, people.

We've got him.

Checking the tree.

No gifts, stockings empty.

Looks like he hasn't been here.

What?

What do you see, Santa One?

Santa One, do you copy?

Santa One, do you see any more tracks?

Booyah! We got him.

You want backup?

Negative. Hold positions.

I don't wanna scare him off.

Careful, Slayer I... In the wrong hands,

even a candy cane can be a lethal weapon.

His footprints led me the wrong way.

It's a trick!

A trick? Well, where is he?

Elizabeth... behind you.

I can't look. I can't breathe.

I might be having a heart attack

or a stroke or a heart a-stroke.

Please don't naughty-list me.

I'm a good girl, I do Girl Scouts,

I like ponies, I bedazzle.

Oh... my... Go...

I think I just swallowed my retainer.

Zoey, use your words.

The phenomenon's on the move.

At the fireplace.

No, wait. Richard, he's headed your way.

Swarm, swarm!

I've got eyes on target, people.

He's so strangely beautiful.

I feel weird,

like I'm gonna laugh and

cry and tinkle all at once.

Before you do any of that,

tag him with a glow ball so

we can see him in the dark.

Copy that.

Slayer in pursuit.

Be advised, Santa's got some wheels.

Oh... oh!

Whoa, the foyer! Go

through the dining room.

I'm jumping in.

I got this!

Uh-oh. Whoa, whoa.

Santa!

Santa? Ooh.

He's fast for a fat man.

Like some Christmas super-ninja.

I'm pretty sure I tagged

him with a glow ball

right in the jingle bells.

How much more trouble can we get into?

We still don't have any usable evidence.

He's mine.

Alex, wait!

Wait, where's Alex?

Alex?

I saw him.

It was Santa Claus. Duh.

I'm off to use water closet

when big man in red suit

runs right past me.

I hide under dirty laundry,

another humiliation.

What about Alex?

Where's Alex?

They went down the laundry chute?

It's madness, no?

How does red-clad,

plus-size bowl full of jelly

fit down that laundry chute?

But he did.

They're in the basement.

Who's in the basement?

Alex. Hey, buddy. Are you here?

Whoo! Alex!

Hey, Alex?

No way!

The mother lode.

I've got point.

Ooh, oh, presents!

Let's stay on mission, people.

Yeah, you're right,

you're right, you're right.

You're right, you're right, you're right.

Take that thing. Yeah.

Alex, buddy? Are you in there?

Alex? Aah!

Uncle Charlie? You okay?

Alex!

It's Alex's backpack.

He's down there. It's... it's deep.

It's, like, a pit.

But... but he's down there.

Zoey, what are you doing?

I'm getting my rescue on.

Elizabeth's too delicate,

and I'm Alex's favorite cousin.

Hold up, I'm Alex's number-one cuz.

You wanna do this, then?

Uh... I'm cool with two.

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