Saturnin Page #2

---

Mr. vitora,

you will hold this vessel.

Mr. Vn, screw on

the compressed oxygen pipe.

But carefully!

And you, gentlemen,

you pour this in there

when I say.

And you, Mr. Vn, turn the

valve in the right moment.

- Will it turn out as soap, sir?

- Blast it, if I know.

Originally he had 20 employees,

but only a few had enough imagination.

In this time, only

the most loyal remained,

who believed that Waterloo

can only happen once in history.

- Really, gentlemen!

- You said there'd be a blast!

I'm making soap, not dynamite.

We are respectable company.

I was just fulminating!

It wasn't meant so literal.

His staff then said that

they had families

and had gone to find safer

work in an explosives factory.

What are we waiting for?

- Can I help you, madam?

- Put my luggage on the boat!

I am an aunt of Ji and

you can call me a lady.

I fear you are not expected.

Welcome a guest and you

welcome God.

My version of that proverb

is somewhat different.

Welcome on board, old chap!

Don't "old chap" me when you can't

even do up your pajamas properly.

Ji!

I was absolutely desperate.

Sun is always the best medicine, Ji.

It's too dark in our flat and the spa's

too expensive. And Milou is so ill...

There's fresh air and sun on a boat.

He'll be right as rain here.

The more the merrier.

Two heads are better than one.

- Too many cooks spoil the broth.

- This is my man-servant, Saturnin.

I have already had the honour

to meet him.

- No smoking on board, boy.

- Who asked you?

I really did not want to offend you.

Your man-servant has

a bit strange manners, hasn't he?

I am afraid, my dear aunt, that

this boat is too small for four people.

As long as my dear husband was still alive

supplying the whole family with floor wax,

nobody dared to deny help to me.

However the wood was turning

black after applying the wax

and sorry for saying it straight,

the floor disgustingly stank.

Give a dog a bad name...

Anyway, it's a nice boat.

I'll mend the sail tomorrow.

This boat does not run

on a sail, but on a propeller.

Your boat hasn't got a sail,

my nephew?

We have to buy a sail for the pole!

Poles are used for putting out flags

during important ceremonies.

The thing, which sails lift onto,

is called a mast.

There is nothing on this boat, a sail could be

lifted on. This boat doesn't have a mast.

Oh my dear, that's true.

I'm tired, anyway. Let's go to bed.

Good night.

Milou!

Dr Vlach says that if we find

the idyll, we'll stop appreciating it.

Fate would be doing us a good turn

if it suddenly turned frosty.

Fate threw me out of my cabin.

I can only miss the frost out here.

Do I understand it well,

that you would feel relief,

if your aunt and Milou

decided to leave the boat?

It is night and

they're in their pajamas.

I can't imagine their departure

to occur without casualties.

It's half past ten.

By midnight your boat will be empty.

- Is that you, Milou?

- What?

I am very sorry to disturb you, but based on the experience

of previous nights, I've brought you some masks.

Is there a carnival going on, or what?

Not really. We've got rats here, who

enjoy scampering across faces of sleepers.

My recommendation is to put on

these masks during the whole night

to prevent direct contact with those animals.

You've got rats here?

I prefer rather not to talk about it,

but in fact you are absolutely right.

Milou!

I give it one minute,

two at most.

Some are wise, some are otherwise.

You just needed to say the word.

To finding Advent masks in July

was one of the most diffucult tasks

I have ever performed.

- What if she hadn't believed us?

- I would have gone to find some rats.

This would not be as difficult.

Life is wonderful!

- What's happening, Saturnin?

- I fear we've encountered a weir!

- What weir?

- The big one, by Charles Bridge.

- Is this boat insured?

- Of course.

- Where's the next weir?

- Near tvanice, but that one's hefty.

- Did he really say 50 years?

- Yes, but on 3 conditions.

That we sail to the North Pole at least once,

that we name the boat after his fiance

and that we name the first land

we discover after him.

What is his fiance called?

Lili, I think. Or Fifi?

Nonetheless they're about to separate.

He'll let us know when he

finds another fiance.

I decided to go on holiday to see my

grandpa, who used to run a power station.

Actually he was a member of any club

which had anything to do with electricity.

I loved visiting him at the power station

or at his home, which was 100% electrified.

It fascinated me as a boy and I must confess

that it keeps fascinating me until now.

The director wishes you the best of

health and sends you this brandy.

Gentlemen don't drink alcohol before noon.

Not even on holiday!

That is true.

But something terrible has happened!

Don't trifle with me, Saturnin.

Is it really that bad?

Yes. We have a saying: There's no

stopping a woman with a mission.

Aunt Katerina and Milou

have just arrived.

I do not mind

if he wants someone to serve him...

But I insist on Saturnin

not to behave like a lout to me!

Dear aunt, Saturnin was

invited to this house; unlike some.

Saturnin, you didn't greet aunt Katerina?

I clearly remember saying:

"My dear, how do you do."

No! He screw up his face and said:

"Oh dear, how do you do".

- So he did, then.

- This is dreadful!

- I'm going for a walk.

- I'll help the director in his garage.

Milou!

Welcome. Grandpa said he'd be long

dead before you got here.

He'll only die if his greedy heirs

finish him off.

Not this time. Grandpa wants to

accelerate his departure from this world.

This morning, Saturnin was

asked to teach grandpa jujitsu.

Breathe slowly and take the basic posture...

It may not be jujitsu, but

it might work on aunt Katerina.

- She's here as well?

- She's everywhere.

- Welcome. I'm not doing so well.

- But you look better.

How's the jujitsu going?

- Tumitsu, Saturnin?

- Haisatsu is better, sir.

Tumitsu is not bad, but

Haisatsu will be much more effective.

Haisatsu!

Are you all right?

I've got two broken legs, a few broken

ribs and concussion.

Oh no, I think I've

just sprained my ankle.

- What kind of hold is this?

- First aid, sir.

- Has Miss Terebov arrived?

- Which Miss Terebov?

My friend engineer Tereba's daughter.

A nice young lady.

I forgot to pack your tennis racket.

- Plaster is unwelcome on holiday, isn't it?

- Miss Barbora has arrived.

- Let's have a look, then.

- Are you going to X-ray my right foot?

- Yes.

- But I injured the left one.

Yes of course... We need to take both

legs so we can compare them.

- Ouch!

- Sorry, I didn't catch that.

Dr Zajek is very thorough. He says

it's nothing. Perhaps he's right.

- Sorry to disturb. We're ready to go.

- Have you got a permit to leave?

- No.

- You have to get one from the office. Right?

- Where is the office?

- There's no-one there now.

- How do we obtain a permit, then?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes