Saved by the Bell

Season #2 Episode #9

---

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning

and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever

make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books

and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time

to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test

I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate

all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,

she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow

it will be all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,

'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved

by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,

'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

This week is our

geometry midterm.

Hey, I'm not worried, because

I always sit next to smart nerds.

- Hey, guys. How're you doing?

- Hey.

Yuck!

I hate coffee.

Susie, can I have

another cup, please?

So, why are you drinking it?

What else would she do

with the coffee, Zack?

Use your head as a doughnut,

and dunk you in it.

No way. My head would

never fit in the cup.

I'm drinking coffee to stay awake.

I've been up half the night

studying for geometry,

and I still don't get it.

Come on, you're doing all right.

Look, I want to go to Stanford,

and there are people with

straight A's who get turned down.

Send back the coffee,

it's hopeless.

- What's up guys?

- Hey, Slater.

Cramming your pretty

little head with geometry?

Is there a sexist point

to your question?

Well, yeah.

Guys are great at math.

It's just a shame you

weren't born a man.

Yeah, it's a shame you

weren't born one, either.

Hi, guys.

How's it going?

Hey, Jessie, listen.

"I'm So Excited."

I know you're excited,

but try to forget about me.

I'll pray for help.

Jessie, put the books away.

The test isn't until Friday.

- Come on.

- Relax. Let's show her, okay?

♪ Tonight's the night we're

gonna make it happen ♪

♪ Tonight we'll put all

other things aside ♪

♪ Give in this time

and show me some affection ♪

♪ We're going for those

pleasures in the night... ♪

See?

- All right.

- Get down, ladies!

- You guys are great.

- Yeah.

Hey, a friend of my dad

is a record producer,

and he's looking for a girls' group

like New Kids on the Block.

Yeah,

the "New Chicks on the Block."

Thank you,

"New Pig in the Booth."

You guys are terrific. I'll be your

manager. We'll make a fortune.

Oh, come on,

we were just fooling around.

Let me bring you to the recording

company and you can sing for them.

I don't have time. Besides, we just

like to sing in the locker room.

Why not bring the producer

to the girls' locker room?

Why not go to the boys' room

and flush yourself to China?

Mr. Morris, B+.

Should I congratulate you or the

person who was sitting next to you?

Sir, I am shocked.

Lighten up, Z-person.

Kelly, B+.

Lisa, B+.

Jessie, C.

C? C?

C, señorita.

But this is geometry, not Spanish.

(bell rings)

Study hard. I'm off to my tryouts

for "American Gladiators."

A "C?"

I'll never get into Stanford.

Will you calm down?

It's only one quiz.

That's right, Jessie.

You can make it up on the midterm.

Hurry or you'll be late for gym.

Look, Jessie, if you're

worried about that test,

I'll help you study.

Okay. My house at 7:00?

I'll be there.

And stop worrying,

you're pretty smart for a chick.

- Slater!

- See?

Got your mind off it already.

Screech, get your recorder. You're

going to the girl's locker room.

- Why?

- That's where the girls sing.

We're gonna record them.

Oh, no. Do I have to wear

your Aunt Helen's bra again?

Does anyone know how

to bisect the vertex angle

of an isosceles triangle?

Will you stop it, Jessie?

You're gonna make yourself sick.

You know what, Jessie? Don't worry,

everything's gonna be okay.

It's just geometry makes me feel

so stupid. I'm so depressed.

Whenever I'm depressed,

lassie, I sing a song.

That's a great idea, Jessie.

Let's have some fun.

- Who are you?

- Who am I?

Oh, I'm-- I'm--

Sinead O'Connor.

That's a very famous name--

That's the other O'Connor.

She's my niece. She learned from me.

You taught her everything she knows?

Oh, that I did. Now she can clean

toilets with the best of them.

Come on, lassies,

let's cheer up and sing.

Oh, and don't mind me,

I'll just mop around you.

Pretend it's a microphone.

(music plays)

♪ I'm so excited ♪

♪ And I just can't hide it ♪

Angle A is congruent to angle D,

because these alternate

interior angles are congruent.

Will you marry me,

and take the test for me?

You are in trouble.

So anyway, look--

Hi. How you guys doing?

I have great news.

Mr. Dewey got squashed

by a gladiator?

No, better.

The record producer loved

the tape of you girls singing,

and wants to play it

for his boss.

- Hey, that's great!

- What tape, Zack?

Oh, the one of you girls

singing in the locker room.

- We didn't make a tape.

- Oh, you're wrong, lassie.

Sinead O'Connor did.

You violated our privacy?

That's disgusting,

isn't it, Slater?

Oh, yeah. Disgusting, Preppie.

I'm very disappointed in you.

Next time bring me.

The producer thinks

you're the best.

Well, it doesn't matter.

There's a principle here.

He really thinks I'm the best?

Yeah. But don't tell Lisa or Kelly.

They'll get jealous.

- See you guys, have fun.

- Later, man.

Let's get on to parallel lines.

Jessie, I'm wiped. We've been

at this for four hours now.

I'm tired, too.

Oh.

Here, take one of these.

Keep Alert?

What are these for?

I need them to stay awake to study.

I got them today at the drugstore.

They're just like coffee,

except they don't taste as bad.

Jessie, these are a lot

stronger than coffee.

It says here they may be

habit-forming.

They're harmless. They sell

them over the counter.

That doesn't make them safe.

You shouldn't be taking these.

Maybe you're right.

All right then.

Well, see you tomorrow.

Good night.

Good night.

- Slater?

- Yes?

Thank you for helping me.

I'll never wash these lips again.

What am I gonna do?

Jessie, you haven't even

taken the midterm yet.

But I know what's gonna happen.

I'll never get into Stanford.

Oh, calm down, Jessie.

I will write a great letter of

recommendation for you.

You almost have

a straight A average.

Almost is not good

enough for Stanford.

If it will make you feel any better,

I got a C in geometry, too.

- Did you go to Stanford?

- Heck no, they wouldn't take me.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes