Scandal Sheet Page #2

- Get her ready.

We've got to be at the ballroom at 8:00.

There's no time for nose powder.

Don't break your ears with that grin.

I can see. He's still in.

- No loud whoops of joy, baby?

- Well, I tried everything.

I crossed my fingers,

said prayers, burned candles.

- Who's your tailor, princess?

- Let's get out of here.

I've had to look at that Chapman face all day.

I've got to cover his fiasco tonight

and suffer some more.

At least just looking at you for an hour

will be a welcome change.

- Lf you're taking me to dinner, let's go.

- Taking him?

Wait a minute.

Our bet was between you and me.

Our bet was loser buys dinner.

We didn't say for how many.

- Why, you double-crossing...

- I knew you'd be a good loser.

Someday remind me to tell you about girls.

You talk a couple of these suckers

into getting married.

These Lonely Heart slobs got the gimmies,

and we've got plenty to give them

from the advertisers.

If you talk one couple

into getting married by 9:00,

by 12:
00 we'll have a dozen lined up

for wedded bliss.

- McCleary, the Brooklyn cupid.

- McCleary, the human yes man.

Hey, Julie!

- Hello, Charlie.

- Charlie.

- How are you, Barnes?

- Fine, Mark. You're looking fit. McCleary.

Thank you.

What goes on? Are you ghosting

Allison's features, Charlie?

No, he's helping me with research

for that series

on historical monuments in New York.

You couldn't pick a better man.

I ought to know.

Remember those old days, Mark?

Like the time I cut the phone cables

at the Lindbergh trial?

You scooped me. Almost cost me my job.

Scooped you, the wire services,

scooped everybody. That was the year...

That was the year you won the Pulitzer Prize.

Listen, Mark.

This stuff I've been doing for Julie, it's...

- Mark, I think I'm ready to go back to work.

- That's fine. I'm glad to hear it, Charlie.

How about it, Mark? How about a job?

- Why not?

- Thanks.

- Charlie, I'm so proud of you!

- This is gonna take a little juggling.

I won't be able to do anything right away.

Look, Charlie, I'll call you.

We're late, we gotta rush.

Sure, Mark, I know how it is,

always on the go.

- Coffee in the morning? Skinners?

- Sure thing, Julie.

All the time I thought you were a...

- How much did you give him?

- $10. He earned it.

Ten bucks?

- Buy a lot of whiskey.

- Did you see that rum-dumb?

- Come midnight, he'll be in the gutter.

- Now, wait a minute.

He's an alky, Julie.

You shouldn't give an alky

more than a buck at a time.

You're liable to kill him.

Ten bucks, he can take a bath in it.

But... Well, this job

will change everything for him.

Job? I wouldn't have him in my office,

let alone on my staff.

In you go, sucker. Where are you going?

I'm not going to let him go off believing this.

- Do you want to break his heart?

- Do I? What do you think you're doing?

I'm giving him hopes and dreams.

A rummy like that lives on dreams.

- He's happy. Why spoil it?

- Happy? Happy like your Lonely Hearts,

looking forward to those big romances

they've been promised?

- Only Charlie's romance is with a bottle.

- Get in.

Biddle, don't leave that camera at half mast.

Stop goldbricking on the other guys.

I must have got 100 shots already,

Mr. Chapman. My arm's giving out.

You've only started. I want shots of people

from every state. Now start shooting.

How are you doing, princess?

Well, it's an effort,

but I'm trying to keep from screaming.

You were a real bundle of laughs

during dinner, too.

Why don't you simmer down now?

You're not so pretty

when your feathers are all ruffled.

Don't, Steve. I'm in no mood for levity.

- Do you feel like dancing?

- Do you figure that'll smooth my feathers?

I've got a great idea for you. Grab yourself

one of these Lonely Heart boys.

Tell him you're a club date. Con him.

Get his life history.

- And there's your feature for tomorrow.

- Mark Chapman, Junior.

It'll sell papers, you left that out.

Happy hunting, cupid.

Mustn't let the boss down.

Save at least one dance for me, princess.

Every time I aim my lens

at one of these walking zombies,

I think of the time

I covered the Miss America contest.

The tears almost start to flow.

From McCleary, you get nothing but service.

Ten minutes before 9:00,

and couple number one. Mary and Joe

met in front of the Arkansas booth.

It was love at first sight, almost. Right?

Well, sure. I'm from Texas,

but I sure love that Arkansas cooking.

- You love her, don't you?

- Well, sure, I reckon so.

- Mary, you love him?

- Yes.

- See, they're crazy about each other.

- Yeah, that's fine. Hey, Edwards.

We've got a romance going here.

They're ready for the orange blossoms.

- Well, how do you do? And congratulations.

- Save the teeth for the bandstand.

Get up there

and make the big announcement.

Yes, sir, Mr. Chapman.

Come with me, you lucky, lucky people.

Hey, you ain't gonna forget about the bed

with the built-in television set?

You'll spend your honeymoon in front of it.

- Nice going, Steve, keep punching.

- I'll get the camera boys up to cover it.

- Did you find a feature to write about yet?

- I haven't, and I don't intend to.

This bribing of poor, ignorant dopes

into a public wedding

is cheap, cruel and disgusting.

This whole Wild West show is ridiculous,

and I want no part of it.

Miss Allison,

your contract has six months to run.

My contract was made with Mr. Madison

before you took over the Express.

If you don't like the way I run the paper,

I have an agreement

that might be satisfactory to both of us.

Take six months' vacation with pay!

No, thank you, Mr. Chapman. I'll work it out.

I like my feature writing.

Thinking people like it, too,

even though there aren't many of them

buying the Express anymore. Good night!

That's it.

Friends, brothers and sisters

in the Lonely Hearts Club.

I have wonderful news for you,

living proof that this magnificent club

is more than just a name.

But first, how would you like to meet

the great man who created your club?

Mr. Mark Chapman,

editor of the New York Express.

Put the spotlight on him, over there!

Now here's the wonderful news.

Meet Mary and Joe, two happy people

who came here tonight as total strangers.

They met, they danced, they found love.

They're going to get married!

George?

- As the first couple who fell in love tonight...

- George Grant!

...Mary and Joe will receive...

- It is you!

...compliments of the Express...

- Charlotte.

... a wedding night in a New York hotel...

Finding you here...

I was so sure that you must be dead.

George Grant is dead.

Yes, I just heard.

- You're the...

- We can't talk here.

We can talk at my place, George.

We've got a lot to talk about.

Go on out. I'll meet you at the side entrance.

The years have been kinder to you.

What is it, 19, 20?

I used to keep track, but I don't...

What's the difference?

Now that you found me, what do you want?

May I?

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