Scandal Sheet Page #3

- Come on, quit stalling around.

- What was it they called you at the ball?

- Mark?

- Chapman.

When did you change your name, George?

Right after you left me?

So I wouldn't find you?

You knew I was so crazy about you

I'd look and look and look,

didn't you, George?

Come on, get to it. What do you want?

You're still in a hurry, aren't you?

That's the thing I remember best about you.

The fellow who always ran and never walked.

Had to get places fast!

And you got places, didn't you, George?

Here, you need some money?

Here's some for now.

Money? The payoff, George?

How much? How much for each year?

How much for the agony

and the heartbreak and the fear?

- Charlotte, cut the ham act.

- This could be for the doctor bill, see?

I was 20 years younger then,

took things more seriously.

I can't imagine how much.

You're boring me now, like you always did.

People always bored you

when you didn't have

any more use for them, didn't they, George?

Bores and nuisances, I get rid of them.

Yeah, the same gentle way

you got rid of me.

My lawyer will get in touch with you.

He'll arrange a quiet divorce

and generous alimony.

You're an important man now,

aren't you, George?

Editor of the New York Express.

I never thought I'd be the wife of the editor

of a big New York newspaper.

You're not, and don't get any ideas

about forcing yourself.

You've got nothing to gain by refusing me

a divorce now like you did 20 years ago.

I was young then and so foolishly in love.

I wanted so much to hold onto you.

I made all of my mistakes when I was young,

and you were the biggest one.

I fell for an attractive hunk of flesh.

"Hold me." You didn't try to hang on.

You strangled me.

I'd smother to death with you.

Turnabout's fair play.

When you walked out on me, I died inside.

When I walk out of here, you're gonna die.

Everything you worked for, grabbed for,

ruined people to get, it's all gonna die!

You're a neurotic screwball!

I'm gonna spread your story all over town.

Mark Chapman, the great editor!

Wife deserter!

Living under a false name for 20 years.

What else did you cover up

living under a phony name?

Your publishers are gonna love this.

And the other papers, they'll cut you

to ribbons with this information!

Hi, honey, let me have the city room.

This is Elkins.

If you need me, I'm over in Skinners.

What? Having breakfast. Yeah, breakfast.

Yes, Julie, after that fortunate

and historical meeting with Mark yesterday,

I had considerable difficulty

wooing the fickle Morpheus.

That explains it.

Those bleeding eyes today.

Well, I did have a couple

with the boys down below.

A sort of celebration, and then farewell.

You should have left them long ago, Charlie.

Any man who was big enough

in his day to rate that,

a place in Skinner's Hall of Fame,

is still too big for Dead-End Street.

No regrets, Julie. My temporary alliance

with the denizens of the Bowery

has provided me with a deeper insight

into the whys and wherefores of mankind.

A proven medical fact,

when the human system

has been lengthily nurtured

on alcoholic stimulants,

any abrupt cessation of same

will result in a negative reaction.

Absolutely.

But I'm tapering off. I'll be a firmly-rooted

passenger on the old water wagon

by the time Mark's ready for me.

Charlie, don't bet everything

on Mark Chapman.

He won't let me down.

First time I felt ready, I asked him for a job,

and what happened?

He offered me one, didn't he?

- Mr. Lonely Heart.

- Compliments of the Express, Myrtle.

- I see you read. You stick with the radio.

- Yeah.

Hey, McCleary,

I read that rag of yours by accident.

Yeah, me, too.

From ax murder to Ionely hearts.

What are you trying to prove,

you're versatile or something?

What are you gentlemen

reading our rag for?

Trying to find out

what's happening that's news?

Good morning, kiddies. What's the word?

Silly, that's the word.

Still a heaping bunch of joy,

aren't you, princess?

Lonely Hearts Ball. Journalism has certainly

changed since the old days.

What happened to you last night?

Pulled a fast fade on me.

- Don't tell me you actually missed me?

- I needed protection.

Some of our love-hungry subscribers

got mixed up.

They were offering me deep-freezes

and vacuum cleaners.

- I'm surprised you refused.

- How do you know I did?

Certainly heavy coverage

on the unrequited passion set.

Our love and romance edition, Charlie.

Even the crossword puzzle.

But nothing from the Allison corner.

Not interested in romance, Julie?

Not the kind that blossoms

on free gas stoves and television sets.

- About that Lonely Heart gag, I've got a...

- Steve, on the radio.

- Julie. Hi, Charlie.

- Hi, Biddle.

Police call. Dead dame in a flat

on Third Avenue. Are you interested?

Well, she'd probably be a cheerful change.

I'm still getting the icebox treatment

from the female on my left.

After them scarecrows I shot last night,

I figure my luck's gotta change.

Even dead, this dame's bound

to have more glamour.

Let's give her a look.

Thanks for the coffee, kitten.

Another scarecrow. I'm batting goose eggs.

Dames have got to make trouble

even when they die, don't they, pal?

Yeah, water downstairs and water upstairs.

Probably wanted a room

with a swimming pool.

Hey, Davis, what are you doing here?

I just wanted to see if I couldn't get

to one of our calls before you did.

This isn't a homicide?

We got a new man

on the beat here, McCleary.

He's built like you between the ears.

He saw a hole in the back of the dame's head

and figured she was slugged.

What's your guess, Lieutenant?

She put the hole

in the back of her head herself?

Yeah, wise-eyes, that's it. That's it exactly.

She slipped in the tub

and opened her skull on a faucet.

- What was the lady's name, Sherlock?

- The landlady says Jane Jones.

- Do you believe it?

- Yeah, I believe it.

I'm fresh out of nursery school.

Jane Jones, alias Jane Doe.

Say, Dave, you're really humming.

Look, nuisance, if you so much as make

these bedsprings squeak once again,

- I'll throw you in the tub with the dame.

- Lieutenant, please.

You're wrong, Dave.

She was murdered. Clear as your head.

Murdered for her money.

Why, this lady must have spent easily

six or seven dollars a year on clothes.

Why don't you go home, McCleary?

There's nothing around here

to interest a big newsman like you.

Look, junior, keep your nose

in your own business, or I'll run you in

- for obstruction, suspicion and vagrancy.

- Why, sure, Dave.

I just thought there might be something

in here to help identify her.

No suitcase, huh?

- In there, boys.

- Okay, Steve, I got all I need.

Thanks, Dave.

- No, not you two again.

- What do you guys do,

smell these things

before the police call is even in?

Try to forget your mugs.

There's a lady in the bathroom.

- Yes, so knock before entering.

- Coming through.

- What'd you pinch that for?

- Look familiar?

I had them in front of me all night, didn't I?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes