Scared Shrekless

---

Run!

Run for your life!

Oh! Keep away!

- Take it!

- Keep away!

- Take all of it!

- The monster took my shoe!

Candy!

Yay. Treats. I love treats.

- Felicia.

- Hi, daddy!

That was a nice grip you

had on that big fat kid.

Farkle, excellent work with your teeth.

- Fergus, my lad...

- Daddy, daddy, daddy.

You're gonna have to

work on your timing.

All in all, not bad for

your first Halloween.

They're growing up so fast.

And look who got her

first clump of hair!

Oh, did you see? Farkle

got him in the ankle.

- What about little Fergus?

- Nothing yet.

Oh, that's all right, sweetie.

Mommy didn't get a

scare this year either.

Fear not, my love. The

night is still young.

Hold the phone. Who left the door open?

You don't think... someone's inside?

Now, who'd be stupid enough

to break into an ogre's house?

- Aah!

- Aah!

Booo!

Oh, wow... Terrifying.

I don't know how I'm gonna sleep now.

Happy Halloween, everyone.

Oh, man.

You said this was gonna scare 'em!

Hey! I worked hard on this costume!

Oops. Heh heh!

Admit it, Shrek.

Weren't you even a little bit scared?

Donkey, ogres don't get scared.

We do the scaring.

And that's why we're

the kings of Halloween.

I bet we can find something

that will scare the pants off of you!

- Which would scare me.

- Oh, really?

And what do you have in mind?

All of us telling scary

stories all night long.

There ain't no way you won't be scared!

Yes! Stories to make

your blood run cold!

- Yeah!

- Stories to terrify you.

- Yeah!

- And whoever shall last

through the night shall be

named the king of Halloween!

- I accept.

- We doubly accept.

Does anyone else want

to join our little contest?

- I'm in!

- Ja, wonderbar!

- Huzzah!

- Okay.

I think I'm going to take the kids out

and terrify a few

more trick or treaters.

- Will I see you later?

- The night is young.

Trick or treat.

Ahem. Ahem!

I shall begin.

Once upon a midnight dreary...

There was this crazy

albino guy with a hook,

and he lived in a mirror!

And if you even look at him,

you'd wake up in bathtub full of ice

with your kidneys gone!

Well... Hey, hold on.

I didn't say we were doing this here.

- Uh... What?

- You named the terms.

I name the place.

Okay, fine.

Where we gonna do this?

- Castle Duloc?

- Oh, ha ha.

Very funny, Shrek.

But this is where

Lord Farquaad lived!

Ja. Und died.

I heard it's haunted by his ghost!

If you're all too scared

to put on big boy pants and go in,

I'll just claim my winnings

and be on my way.

Wait a minute!

We can last in there

just as long as you can.

Fine. Come on then.

Hold up, Shrek.

You can't just go barging

in some creepy, spooky joint

like you own the place.

And why not?

It's not like there's

anyone here to stop us.

I still don't know about this, man.

You know... Whole creepy

house-of-wax vibe

goin' on in here.

Look, it's that little thingy

you love so much, remember?

Welcome to Duloc

It's a creepy town

What was once pristine

Now is all rundown

We will chop off your head

And then laugh when you're dead

Duloc is a creepy place

Come on in, what the heck

Fall right down, break your...

Face

Duloc is

Duloc is

Duloc is

A creepy place

Get out.

- Ooh! Let's do that again.

- No!

Well, then...

This ought to be fun.

Pff. Fun. Yeah, right.

I find myself agreeing with boss.

This looks to be a very

entertaining evening.

You know what, I just figured out

what your costume is.

You came as a kiss-up!

All right, all right.

Buckle up, everybody.

The quicker I scare

the wits out of you lot,

the sooner I can be home,

cozy in my bed.

Unless anyone else thinks

they've got what it takes.

Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me!

I have a scary story!

This isn't the one about you getting

trapped in the petting zoo again, is it?

- 'Cause that's not scary.

- Actually...

If you look at it from my perspective...

Hey, guess what, Pinocchio,

no one cares!

Get ready to send these

jokers home, Shrek,

'cause I've got a doozy...

and it's all true!

It was a dark and stormy night...

Gingy?

My girlfriend kicked me out.

I don't know, something about

me being too into myself.

Blah, blah, blah, yack, yack, yack.

You? But you are so adorable.

I know!

That's what I keep telling her!

I need a good woman, Muffin Man.

Ah. I can help you, Gingy.

- How about this one?

- Aw, I dunno.

- You like her, huh?

- Nope. Weird hair.

- How about this one?

- Too skinny.

No! Don't like it!

Okay. Well, how about this one?

Yes! That's it!

Ah!

She's perfect.

The girl of my dreams.

Wait! More sugar.

But that is not the recipe.

Trust me, Muffin Man,

this girl's gotta be real sweet.

I want someone

who will love me forever.

I must warn you, Gingy.

No one has ever made

cookies with this much sugar.

You are tampering with forces

far beyond your comprehension!

Just put her in the oven!

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Ah ha ha ha...

Ow!

Ha ha ha ha!

Hey. I get a little privacy?

- Huh?

- Take a hike.

Oh, oui.

Oh, my gosh, I'm in love!

A cookie angel.

Wow!

And you're hot too!

Hello?

Hello?

Oh...

I guess it didn't work.

Ha ha!

Gingy, is it you?

The one I was made for?

Oh, we'll be together forever.

Sweet!

I can't see me

Loving nobody but you

For all my life

When you're with me

Baby, the skies'll be blue

For all my life

Me and you and you and me

No matter how they toss the dice

It had to be

The only one for me

is you and you for me

So happy together

- Are ya happy, Gingy?

- You bet!

The time since I met you

has been the best...

Good! Because this is

only the beginning.

I'm going to love you and hold you

and feed you and dress you

- and cling to you...

- Yeah...

Hang on to you and

smother you with my love.

- Yeah...

- Forever and ever and ever

- and ever and ever...

- You know,

it's gettin' a little stuffy in here.

You know, I might go get some air.

Oh, no, you don't.

Oh, no...

Not without your umbrella.

- Come on!

- Here, let me get that.

Wait for me!

Sugar, could you just do me

one small, little teensy favor?

Anything.

Could you leave me alone

for like 30 seconds?

Anything but that.

You know, I forgot my gumdrop buttons.

Yeah! Could you run over there

and get 'em for me, please?

Sure, I can. I'll be right back.

Gingy, Gingy

Run, run, run, as fast as you can

if you wanna remain a gingerbread man!

Oh!

- Oh, Gingy.

- Whaa...

I don't understand.

- I thought you were happy!

- Oh, well...

It's all my fault.

I should have tried harder!

No, no, no! Don't try harder!

Maybe I'm not pretty enough.

I can be pretty... really pretty!

- The girl of your dreams.

- Aah!

Remember?

Farewell!

Gingy!

Let go, Gingy!

Fall with me...

so we can be together forever!

Here's a thought...

You let go!

Together!

Together fore...

Boy, what a night!

I'm so glad that is over with!

Oh! Oh, well.

- Nothing lasts forever.

- In sports...

Together forever.

Aah!

Together forever.

Together forever.

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote