Scared Shrekless Page #2

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Together forever.

What a nice surprise!

Together forever.

Together forever.

Together forever.

Together forever.

- Hey... So what's up?

- Together forever.

I think we both may have said

some things I might regret.

- Together forever!

- Gosh, your eye is pretty!

Look, I know you're upset, so... Aah!

Why don't we just sit down...

and discuss this?

Then... they ate me!

Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee!

They're gonna do that all the way home.

I... I gotta go.

They're my ride.

Wait a minute.

If they ate you,

how is it that you're still here?

Did you not say this was a true story?

Um...

You made it up, didn't ya?

I... hey, look!

Lord Farquaad's ghost!

Aah!

Doody heads!

And then there were three.

Who else wants to step up?

I, too, have a terrifying tale to tell.

It was a dark and stormy night!

Hey... what the...

And we needed to find us some shelter!

This is my turn to tell a story.

Hey, hey. Shh!

The kindly innkeeper

was warm and friendly.

She made me feel all bubbly inside.

My trusty sidekick here

would love to freshen up.

- Sidekick?

- And I would love some waffles!

But we are equals.

Oh, man. Of course we are...

The noble donkey reassured

his clearly inferior sidekick.

I'm getting a little tired of this...

But before Puss could finish his thought,

he decided to take a

well-deserved tongue bath.

Wh... wh... wha... wha...

Well, as long as I am here.

But right then,

danger came from behind.

Da-dum, da-dum

Da-dum, da-dum

And Puss was never seen again.

Ha ha. The End.

No! That's not how the story goes.

I was well aware of

the approaching danger

and went for my steel.

Don't worry, little buddy.

I'm here to save you!

Ohh. You're killing me.

It was Prince Charming!

He was packing heat,

and he wanted revenge!

I want revenge!

He said. But before anyone

could do anything...

Ba-bam!

It was awful and it was terrible,

and it was really, really scary.

What? No! Go back!

Although the charming was fast,

I was swift enough to

repel the attack and leap to safety.

Which is exactly what

he wanted you to do.

Oh!

Charming laughed,

just like a crazed maniac.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Whoa-oa-oa!

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm sorry, but I would never

let that happen to me.

Instead, I... I... I woke up.

Yeah. That's right!

It was all a dream.

You mean a nightmare.

You know you're on the ceiling, right?

I will get you for this.

Oh! And then the lights went out.

It was horrible and sad

how Puss pleaded for mercy!

Mercy? Please!

Said Puss with his last dying breath.

But when the lights came back on,

it was the donkey who

was taking a shower!

Oh, my goodness!

Why would I do that?

Ha ha! And right behind you,

there was danger!

- Oh, man.

- You were paralyzed!

It was a donkey-eating waffle.

It was packing heat,

and it wanted revenge.

I want revenge!

The donkey ran.

But how far can you run

when you are on a plate

covered in butter wearing a pink tutu?

- No!

- And a sombrero.

- No!

- And a coconut brassiere!

And about to be eaten alive!

No, please! Please,

I'll switch to pancakes!

- Aah!

- Num, num, num!

And the donkey was never seen again.

Hoo hoo hah hah hah hah hah!

But what Puss didn't know

is that right behind him

was the one thing he feared

more than anything else.

- No. You wouldn't.

- I would.

- You didn't!

- I did!

No! Anything but that!

No!

The End.

I'm pretty sure that's cheating.

Ha. It worked, didn't it?

Hmm. Who's next in our little contest?

Oh. Has anyone seen the mice?

Are we there yet?

- Ha.

- Okay.

I think it's time for a story

that's actually scary.

Pff. Yeah, whatever.

Whoop. Pshh, pshh, pshh.

You had your chance. Now, then...

Something beyond comprehension

was happening to a little boy

on this street...

in this house.

A man had come as a last resort.

Because...

no one else would go near the place.

Gah!

I hear you've been expecting me.

- You are the...

- That's right.

I am...

the babysitter.

Yes, sir, yes, thank goodness

you've come.

My boy.

I don't know what's gotten into him.

I've-a never seen anything like it.

Trust me, buddy.

I've got three little ogres at home.

This will be a piece of cake.

Father!

Father!

O... kay then.

Look, I'm-a tell you,

I tried every trick in the book.

- You see?

- "Once Upon a Time-Out"?

Oh, come on, now.

You're gonna listen to a goose?

Please, you...

you don't understand.

It's like he's-a two different people.

What your kid needs is discipline,

not a bunch of

psychological mumble-jumble.

You just gotta walk in there,

look him in the eye,

and show him who's...

Please tell me he's an only child.

Bobba gone fishpeas.

Ba, ba, boo.

Um... Hello.

Whoo!

Well, here's your problem.

His head's not screwed on right.

When you wish upon a star,

you get lots of stuff.

Well, I wish for a nice, quiet evening

where you go to sleep

and I raid the icebox.

Okay.

- Ow! Ow! Oh!

- Hey... Ah!

Oh! Ah!

Mm.

See? That was easy.

It's like I always say.

When it comes to good parenting,

you have to be fair but firm.

You just show him

that you mean business,

and he's out of bed again, isn't he?

You never have this problem

with sock puppets.

Aah! Oh!

All right. What's this all about?

Voices.

- Voices?

- Uh-huh!

In here!

Telling me what to do!

You have voices inside your head.

Sometimes.

And what kind of things

do they tell you to do?

Oh!

Oh...

The early bird catches the worm!

What's gotten into this kid?

Hey... Ow! Hey!

Maybe you sing him a little song.

Come here, y... I...

Do I look like the kind of

guy that knows a lullaby?

Sing!

Lullaby and good night

Close your big, creepy eyes

If you sleep, away I'll creep

And get out of here alive

Oh... You know,

once you get past all the

splinters and rope burns,

he's actually kinda cute.

Now where did he go?

A bird in the hand is worth

two in the bush!

Now, there's something

you don't see every day.

Aah! Aah!

Get him off! Get him off!

Aah!

Ooh...

Mm...

Come back here, you!

I regret nothing!

Ow! Ooh!

Ah! Oh!

Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ah!

Ah... Ooh... Ahh...

Eew!

I'm too young to have termites!

I'm no termite, Pinocchio.

I'm a cricket.

You were the voice in

my head this whole time?

That's right.

I'm the one who was putting

all those thoughts in your noggin.

I'm your conscience,

and as long as you let me,

I'll always be in...

The End.

That wasn't me!

I never had any bugs in my head.

Ha ha. Ask anyone!

Okay, then.

Why don't we start by asking...

your conscience!

Aah!

Uh, now who's cheatin'?

Well, Donkey, looks like

it's just you and me.

Go ahead.

There ain't nothing

you can say that can scare me.

Yeah, well, I suppose

there's nothing left to do

but sit here in the dark

and wait for the ghost.

Ghost? What ghost?

Farquaad's ghost, of course.

As a matter of fact,

if I remember correctly,

I believe you had a hand

in his untimely demise.

Hey, man, that was an accident.

And besides, all that ghost stuff

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