SCARED SHREKLESS

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Run!

Run for your life!

- Keep away! Keep away!

- Take it!

Take all of it!

The monster took my shoe!

- Candy!

- Yay, treats. I love treats.

- Felicia.

- Hi, Daddy.

That was a nice grip you had

on that big fat kid.

Farkle, excellent work with your teeth.

- Fergus, my lad.

- Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

We're gonna have to work

on your timing.

All in all, not bad

for your first Halloween.

They're growing up so fast.

And look who got

her first clump of hair.

Did you see?

Farkle got him in the ankle.

- What about little Fergus?

- Nothing yet.

That's all right, sweetie.

Mama didn't get a scare

this year either.

Fear not, my love.

The night is still young.

Hold the phone.

Who left the door open?

You don't think that someone's inside?

Now, who'd be stupid enough

to break into an ogre's house?

Oh, wow. Terrifying.

I don't know how I'm gonna sleep now.

Happy Halloween, everyone.

- Oh, man.

- You said this was gonna scare 'em.

Hey! I worked hard on this costume.

Admit it, Shrek. Weren't you even

a little bit scared?

Donkey, ogres don't get scared.

We do the scaring.

And that's why

we're the kings of Halloween.

I bet we can find something

that would scare the pants off of you.

- Which would scare me.

- Oh, really?

And what do you have in mind?

All of us telling scary stories

all night long.

There ain't no way you won't be scared!

Yes.

Stories to make your blood run cold.

- Yeah.

- Stories to terrify you.

Yeah.

And whoever shall last

through the night,

shall be named the King of Halloween.

I accept.

We doubly accept.

Does anyone else want to join

our little contest?

- I'm in!

- Ja, wunderbar!

Huzzah!

OK. I think

I'm going to take the kids out

and terrify a few more

trick-or-treaters.

Will I see you later?

- The night is young.

- Trick or treat.

I shall begin.

Once upon a midnight dreary...

There was this crazy albino guy,

with a hook, and he lived in a mirror.

And if you even looked at him,

you'd wake up in a bathtub full of ice,

with your kidneys gone.

Whoa. Hey, hold on.

I didn't say we were doing this here.

- What?

- You name the terms, I name the place.

OK, fine!

Where we gonna do this?

Castle Duloc?

Ha, ha, very funny, Shrek.

But this is where Lord Farquaad lived.

Ja! Und died.

I heard it's haunted by his ghost.

If you're all too scared

to put on big boy pants and go in,

I'll just claim my winnings

and be on my way.

Now, wait a minute!

We can last in there

just as long as you can.

Fine. Come on then.

Hold up, Shrek. You can't

just go barging into some creepy,

spookyjoint like you own the place.

And why not? It's not like there's

anyone here to stop us.

I still don't know about this, man.

I'm getting a whole creepy

House of wax vibe going on in here.

Look, it's that little thingy

you love so much, remember?

Welcome to Duloc

It's a creepy town

What was once pristine

Now is all rundown

We will chop off your head

And then laugh when you're dead

Duloc is a creepy place

Come on in

What the heck

Fall right down

Break your

Face

Duloc is

Duloc is

Duloc is a creepy place

Get out.

- Let's do that again!

- No!

Well, then...

This ought to be fun.

Fun. Yeah, right.

I find myself agreeing with boss.

This looks to be

a very entertaining evening.

You know what? I just figured out

what your costume is.

You came as a kiss-up!

All right, all right.

Buckle up, everybody.

The quicker I scare the wits

out of you lot,

the sooner I can be home,

cozy in my bed.

Unless anyone else thinks

they've got what it takes?

Pick me, pick me!

I have a scary story.

This isn't the one about you getting

trapped in the petting zoo again, is it?

'Cause that's not scary.

Actually, if you look at it

from my perspective...

Hey, guess what, Pinocchio?

No one cares!

Get ready to send

these jokers home, Shrek,

'cause I've got a doozy.

And it's all true.

It was a dark and stormy night...

Gingy?

My girlfriend kicked me out.

You know, something about me

being too into myself.

You? But you are so adorable.

I know, that's what I keep telling her!

I need a good woman, Muffin Man.

I can help you, Gingy.

How about this one?

- I don't know.

- You like her?

No. Weird hair.

- How about this one?

- Too skinny.

No! Don't like it!

OK. Well, how about this one?

Yes! That's it!

She's perfect.

The girl of my dreams.

Wait. More sugar.

But that is not the recipe.

Trust me, Muffin Man,

this girl's gotta be real sweet.

I want someone

who will love me forever.

I must warn you, Gingy.

No one has ever made cookies

with this much sugar.

You are tampering with forces

far beyond your comprehension!

Just put her in the oven!

OK, a little privacy?

Take a hike.

Oh, oui.

Oh, my gosh, I'm in love!

You're like a cookie angel.

Wow! And you're hot, too!

Hello?

I guess it didn't work.

Gingy. Is it you?

The one I was made for?

We'll be together forever.

Sweet!

Are you happy, Gingy?

You bet!

The time since I met you

has been the best...

seven and a half minutes of my life.

Good! Because this is

only the beginning.

I'm going to love you and hold you,

and feed you and dress you

and cling to you and...

...hang onto you and smother you

with my love.

- Yeah.

- Forever and ever and ever and ever...

You know,

it's getting a little stuffy in here.

You know, I'm gonna go get some air.

- Oh, no, you don't.

- Oh, no!

Not without your umbrella.

Come on!

Here, let me get that.

Wait for me.

Sugar, could you just do me

one small, little, teensy favor?

Anything.

Could you leave me alone

for like 30 seconds?

Anything but that.

Yeah, I forgot

my gumdrop buttons. Yeah.

Could you run over there

and get 'em for me, please?

Sure I can. I'll be right back.

Gingy, Gingy...

Run, run, run as fast as you can,

if you want to remain

a gingerbread man!

Oh, Gingy.

I don't understand.

I thought you were happy.

- Oh, well, I...

- It's all my fault.

I should have tried harder!

No, no, no! Don't try harder!

Maybe I'm not pretty enough.

I can be pretty! Really pretty.

The girl of your dreams.

- Remember?

- Leave me alone!

Gingy!

Let go, Gingy!

Fall with me,

so we can be together forever!

Here's a thought. You let go!

Together. Together for...

Boy, what a night!

I'm so glad that is over with.

- Oh, well, nothing lasts forever.

- In sports...

Together forever.

- Together forever.

- What a nice surprise.

Together forever.

Hey! So, what's up?

I think we both may have said

some things I might regret.

- Together forever.

- Gosh, your eye is pretty.

Look, I know you're upset, so...

Why don't we just sit down

and discuss this!

Then they ate me.

They're gonna do that

all the way home.

I gotta go.

They were my ride.

Wait a minute.

If they eat you,

how is it that you're still here?

Did you not say this was a true story?

Busted.

You made it up, didn't you?

I... Hey, look!

Lord Farquaad's ghost!

Doody heads!

And then there were three.

Who else wants to step up?

I, too, have a terrifying tale to tell.

It was a dark and stormy night.

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