Scared Stiff Page #6

I was just telling you about Havana.

Why is it no one has ever invented

a cheerful foghorn?

There is a great deal of fog

on Lost Island, Miss Carroll.

At times,

it completely shrouds the castle.

You can't discourage me.

- I'm going to have fun on that island.

- I'm not so sure.

- I'm going to have fun on that island.

- I'm not so sure.

Pardon me.

I was just dropping a few eaves.

- Oh, Larry, I'm so glad to see you.

- Glad to see you, too.

Well, Mr. Cortega, I've heard about you.

Oh, have you been in Havana before?

- No. First trip.

- A pleasure trip?

Not exactly.

Are you interested

in some tobacco plantation?

Look, I'll save you a lot of time.

I'm a ghostbuster.

A what?

Well, you've heard of trustbusters

and broncobusters and gangbusters.

Well, I'm a ghostbuster.

So watch it, buster.

I hope you still feel as comical

when you come off the island.

Good night, Miss Carroll.

He's certainly trying to scare me away

from that castle.

Naturally.

He wants to haunt it in private.

Well, there's nothing like an ocean

voyage to bring people together.

Deck tennis, gypsy violins.

Gay crowd in the cocktail lounge.

Then after dinner,

champagne, dancing, bridge,

moonlight, moonlight nights.

And warnings of death.

- Oh, Larry, I am frightened.

- Don't lose your nerve now, honey.

On the other hand,

stay as frightened as you want.

I'm sorry.

Larry,

I don't know what I'd do

if you weren't here.

- You've been just wonderful.

- I have?

I've been called a lot of things

but never wonderful.

That's my key.

When someone wonderful

thinks you're wonderful

Aladdin's lamp belongs to you

With someone beautiful

it's so beautiful

To hear her sigh

I love you, I do

Then suddenly you hear music

The song of a thousand guitars

A kiss is a magic carpet

to the stars

When someone wonderful

thinks you're wonderful

It's paradise

a dream come true

Especially if that someone

is you

Oh, Larry!

Larry?

Larry!

Larry!

Larry, I'm scared! I'm scared.

Come on,

someone just tried to kill Mary!

Who? Who?

You go that way.

Larry! I got him, Larry!

Larry, I got him!

- Oh, it's you.

- Well, aren't you glad?

- You do me a favor.

- What?

Will you get lost for a while?

Mary.

- I'm right here, Larry.

- Come on. We better get below.

Leave me alone, huh?

With a killer running around loose, yet.

Just 'cause you got a girl.

Well, I don't care.

Killer or no killer,

I can take care of myself.

Larry, Larry.

Hey, buddy, what time does this boat

get to New York?

You get a good night's sleep.

Be sure you keep that door locked.

I will.

Tell me, Larry.

- Why are you so nice to me?

- Oh, I don't know.

I guess I've always been a sucker

for girls named Mary Carroll.

- I'll see you first thing in the morning.

- Well, I'll see you long before that.

You will?

You see, I'm planning to dream tonight.

- Good night, Larry.

- Good night, Mary.

"Completed in 1597,

"Morro Castle stands grimly guarding

the beautiful harbor of Havana.

"Cuba is truly the island of romance.

"A land of flashing-eyed seoritas,

"seasoned with onions

and a dash of garlic, all for 50 cents."

- Onions?

- What?

Well, that's what it says.

Myron, let me see that.

"A land of flashing-eyed seoritas,

"many of them continental-style,

spread out all over the sidewalk."

Oh, that can't be right.

You'd fall all over them in the dark.

Look, there's a trick.

There's a trick to this.

See, you got to know

how to fold these things.

Just kind of fold naturally, see?

Like this. Like that.

There you are.

"Cuba is truly the island of romance.

"The land of flashing-eyed seoritas

"equipped with red, green

and amber lights

"to control the traffic."

- See?

- That's better.

- Good morning.

- Good morning!

Mr. Todd, could I have a word with you

and your friend before we land?

- Now?

- It's very important.

- All right.

- Will you excuse us, Miss Carroll?

- Of course.

- Thank you.

What are you doing there?

Pardon me.

I just saw a disagreeable-looking native

listening at your door.

It's none of my business,

but I thought you might want to know.

Why, thank you.

- Aren't you... New Haven.

- Yes, you're...

The Murrays!

- The party after the Dartmouth game.

- That's right. Now I remember.

- You're Tony Warren.

- And you're Mary Carroll.

Right. How are you?

- Won't you come in?

- You look wonderful!

Have you been onboard all this time?

No, I flew down from New York

about 10 days ago.

I just came aboard on the official launch

to meet some friends.

You've lived in Havana

for quite some time now, haven't you?

I'm practically a native.

Then perhaps you can tell me

what that is.

- Oh, hello.

- What is it?

- It's a voodoo ouanga.

- A what?

Ouanga, a charm prepared

by a native voodoo priest.

Some of them are supposed

to bring good luck.

But not that one.

No.

No.

This is a death ouanga.

I don't quite understand this, Mary.

Voodoo's a thing of the past

around Cuba.

The only place you might still find it

are on some of the primitive islands

further south.

- Would Lost Island be one of them?

- What do you know about Lost Island?

- I own it.

- What?

I heard that jinx had been wished

on somebody,

but I didn't know it was you.

I'm simply doing my best

to make clear to you both

that Miss Carroll's

taking her life in her hands

if she goes into that castle tonight.

You know, that gives me an idea

that scares the wits out of me.

- What?

- Yeah, what?

We'll go there first.

- We will?

- Yeah!

Oh, yeah, that's right,

because there's ghosts and spooks,

and we always wanted

to get killed in a haunted castle.

Larry.

- You're a very brave man, Mr. Todd.

- Not at all.

As a matter of fact,

do you know what's liable to happen

if we should see a ghost tonight?

No.

We'd be so scared,

we'd probably take shots at it.

- Won't we feel silly shooting at ghosts?

- Yeah.

Well, tell your friends.

We'll be seeing you.

Oh, yeah, we'll be seeing you.

Don't fly around too fast.

- Oh, Larry!

- Come on!

Do you know anybody down here?

No, but Larry and Myron are

on my team.

- Who?

- Oh, excuse me.

Oh, come in, boys.

Larry, Myron,

this is Tony Warren, an old friend.

- Hi, Tony.

- Howdy.

Hi.

He doesn't look so old.

- Hey, Mary, what's a zombie?

- A what?

- Who said anything about a zombie?

- Oh, I always thought it was a drink.

But that fellow Cortega,

he says it's an old dead guy

over on the island,

and he walks like this.

Oh, Larry!

- He was telling the truth.

- He was?

It's voodooism, and not very pleasant.

You see, when a man dies

and is buried,

some voodoo priests

seem to have the power

to bring him back to life.

The fact is, there's an old woman living

on Lost Island who has a zombie son.

- Tomb-mates.

- Oh, shut up!

- How horrible!

- It's worse than horrible,

because a zombie

has no will of his own.

Every once in a while you see them

walking about with dead eyes,

blindly following orders,

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