Scared Stiff Page #7

not knowing what they do

and not caring.

Just like husbands.

Oh, we're coming! Come on, Larry.

We gotta get ready for the show tonight.

Okay.

The boys are opening at the El Caribe

tonight with Carmelita.

Oh, wonderful. Let me take you there.

And after the show is over,

we can all get together

and celebrate your first night in Havana.

I'd love to.

Well, I was wondering

what you were going to do

after the show.

Now it's all taken care of.

First night in Havana.

No, thank you.

Hey, Larry, show business

really gets in your blood, don't it?

- First you got to have some.

- Oh, you!

- Hey, fellows, have you seen Carmelita?

- No. Why?

It is time for her to go on,

and we cannot find her!

Hey, Larry, if she don't go on,

we don't go on.

Yeah, and if we don't go on,

we don't get paid.

- And what are we gonna do for money?

- Gee, that's bad, ain't it?

Well, if you can't get the original,

you gotta use a substitute.

Well, that makes sense.

If you can't get the original,

you have to use a...

- Oh, Larry!

- Myron!

- Larry!

- Myron!

- Larry!

- Myron!

Say, why don't we all go over

to my island later?

- Tonight?

- Yes.

Sorry.

But only this morning my doctor

warned me against sudden shocks.

Besides, the boatmen won't go there

after dark.

I bet we'd find a way.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

As you know, tonight we were to have

a wonderful show for you,

but I'm sorry to say

that the star of our show,

Miss Carmelita, is indisposed.

That Myron.

This isn't in the book of etiquette,

but I'm going to do it, anyhow.

What's the matter?

That man!

What man? What is it?

I'm sorry.

I guess I was just seeing things.

Enchiladas

Enchiladas

Enchiladas

Enchiladas

Enchiladas

I got, I got

All over town with a song

goes the enchilada man

Come gather round for the song

of the enchilada man

And for a treat good to eat

there's nothing better than

Enchiladas so nice and hot

Enchiladas I got, I got

Enchiladas

So nice and hot

Enchiladas

I got, I got

Say, come along, come along

I'm the enchilada gal

Filling the air with a song

I'm the enchilada gal

Come take a taste of the stuff

that I make like no one can

Enchiladas I got, I got

How you make them?

First, you take a chili pepper

Add a little spice, throw a little salt in

That's nice

Little bit Tabasco, and the vinegar, too

And lots of hot mustard

It's good for you!

Another chili pepper, stir like mad

- Take a little taste, now

- Not bad

Little more Tabasco, maybe a clove

- Little gasoline?

- Oh, that's for the stove

Enchiladas, so nice and hot

Enchiladas

I got, I got

My name is Don Ferdinand

I'm the enchilada king

I'll have you all understand

I'm really quite the thing

I make a cheese if you please

that is positively "ugh"

And for a treat

try the meat that is absolutely "ugh"

After you buy it and try it

you'll say it's simply "ah"

Enchiladas I don't know

Enchiladas

Oh, hello

Little boy without a peso

There's no reason for your sorrow

All you have to do is say so

I will trust you till tomorrow

Enchiladas so nice and hot

Enchiladas I got, I got

Pay him with your lilting laughter

It's your happiness he's after

If you're happy, we are happy, too

I'm with you

All over town with a song

goes the enchilada man

Come gather round for the song

of the enchilada man

Nobody else in the world

ever sings the way he can

Enchiladas

So nice and hot

Enchiladas

I got, I got

Enchiladas

Enchiladas

Enchiladas

We got, we got

- Aren't they wonderful?

- They're quite a pair.

- Are you Mr. Warren?

- That's right.

- There is a call for you.

- Oh, thank you.

- Will you excuse me a minute?

- Of course.

I'll be right back.

Pardon, seorita.

- A note for you from the two crazy ones.

- Well, thank you.

"Lafayette, we are here."

Lafayette's here, too.

Oh, stop. Here, hold this.

I think it's this way.

Will you take it easy, Myron?

That must be the woman

Cortega told us about.

She won't harm you.

She has a son of her own.

Oh, yeah, I forgot for a minute.

But she sure scared me.

- Who is her son?

- The zombie.

The...

Myron!

- We're going up to that castle.

- What about that woman?

- Oh, she's only trying to scare us.

- Well, she's doing a very good job of it!

Come here. Come on.

Hey, Larry, how long has it been

since anybody lived here?

Oh, about 20 years.

It's only been two months

since anybody's been killed here.

Oh, what did you go and say that for?

Give me the flashlight.

- What's that?

- Bats.

I wonder which one is Cortega.

Larry?

What'd we have to come here for,

Larry? Who needs ghosts?

Needs ghosts?

- If that's you, Cortega, you're not funny.

- You're not funny.

You're not funny.

- Oh, come on, it's only echoes.

- Echoes?

Here. Hold this.

Larry, we could have got killed

a lot easier back at the club.

- At the club.

- Shut up.

- Oh, shut up.

- Shut up.

- You got a cold?

- Got a cold?

Now, look. You busted it.

Well, you scared me.

Hey, Myron, who does that look like?

Why, that's Mary!

That's probably

her great-great-grandmother.

Yeah.

Oh, what a dish you must have been.

You're not going up there,

are you, Larry?

Of course I am.

You can stay here if you want,

but if a couple of guys come

running down here in a few minutes,

let the first one go by.

It'll be me.

Yeah, well,

if anyone passes you, that'll be me.

They can't do that to us.

We know better.

Yeah. We know better.

You go down that way. I'll go this way.

We'll get him in between us.

Oh, goody. Oh, wait.

- What?

- Bye.

Bye.

- Old man Mose is certainly dead.

- Let's go home, Larry.

We'll get to the bottom of this.

I go no farther.

Oh, but please. We're so close.

No, no, I don't go ashore.

I told you before.

Hurry, hurry.

There it goes again.

Look out, Larry!

Myron!

Larry!

- Oh, why do you have to be so clumsy?

- Larry!

- What? What?

- Larry, a body!

All right, a body.

- "Maria."

- "Ysobel."

- "Carrillo."

- "1776 to 1820."

Hey, that's all that's left

of that beautiful girl in the portrait.

A mummy.

Yeah, that's Mary's

great-great-grandmummy.

Oh, I shouldn't have said that

in a place like this.

I must have a frog in my throat.

It's better than having a knife

in your throat.

Hey, old Don Santiago himself.

- That's the guy we saw in the hall.

- Hey, he hasn't changed a bit.

- He sure gets around.

- He's got a lot of spirit.

Oh, Myron.

Hey.

Now we know

where the ghost music came from.

- Hey, Larry, there's the pumper.

- Go ahead, pump it.

- Would you like milk or cream?

- Oh, shut up.

There's no air coming through here.

This thing's dead.

It's in the right place.

Larry.

Larry.

- Yoo-hoo.

- Yoo-hoo.

- Larry, is that you?

- Is that you?

Larry, where are you?

Did you find anything back there, Larry?

- No, not a thing.

- Good. Let's quit while we're ahead.

- Larry.

- Larry.

- That sounds like Mary's voice.

- Yeah.

Wait a minute, Myron.

That's exactly what they want us

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