Scary Movie 2

FADE IN:

INT. HOUSE -- LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

A party is winding down. Only a FEW GUESTS remain. They all

are gathered around the piano. A YOUNG PRIEST, FATHER HARRIS,

plays an old standard. Everyone sings along. A WOMAN in the

group, mid-40's, conservative, really getting into the song,

starts giving a soulful rendition, dropping to her knees ala

James Brown. The song ends. Everyone cheers. Father Harris

starts another.

HARRIS:

Who knows this one?...

(singing)

"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!"

They all join in.

A YOUNG GIRL, MEGAN, enters the room. She watches the group.

The group notices Megan and slowly stops singing.

CLOSE ON:

Megan. Her eyes seem vacant, almost like she is sleep walking.

She mutters something.

MEGAN:

You're going to die.

The group looks confused.

The young girl pees on the floor.

CLOSE ON:

A WOMAN in the group, mid-40's. She is the girl's MOTHER.

The mother apologizes to her guests.

MOTHER:

I'm sorry. She's been really sick.

CLOSE ON:

Megan. THWACK!! She is smacked on the head by a rolled

newspaper.

REVEAL:

Mom holding the newspaper. She shoves Megan's head into the

pee and rubs her nose in it as she continues to whack her

with the newspaper.

MOTHER:

No! Bad girl! Bad girl!

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. HELL HOUSE -- NIGHT

The street is covered in thick fog. The only light is by a

street lamp.

A taxi pulls into the frame. It reads "YELLOW CAB."

A TALL, DARK FIGURE gets out of the taxi.

CAB DRIVER (V.O.)

Hey you, pay your fare.

The figure takes off, running into the fog.

CAB DRIVER:

God damn priests always pull this

sh*t.

Cab drives off.

CUT TO:

INT. FOYER -- CONTINUOUS

A doorbell RINGS. It plays the THEME to "THE EXORCIST."

CLOSE ON:

The mother answers the door.

The dark figure lifts his head up, revealing that it's Father

McFeely.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Uh... I'm Father McFeely

MOTHER:

Father, come in, please.

Father McFeely enters. The mother closes the door behind

him.

MOTHER:

I'm so glad you're here.

FATHER MCFEELY:

I came as fast as I could, but at my

age the little soldier needs a lot

more thumpin before it starts pumpin.

If I tickle my ass before...

MOTHER:

It's okay. I understand.

FATHER MCFEELY:

How is she?

MOTHER:

(sadly)

She's gotten worse, Father. She won't

eat, she won't talk. The child won't

even let me touch her.

FATHER MCFEELY:

(reflecting)

Yes... Sometimes you have to give

them candy.

The mother gives Father McFeely an odd look.

They are interrupted by Father Harris. He extends his hand

to McFeely.

HARRIS:

Father.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Not unless you have a paternity test

to prove it.

Harris looks confused.

HARRIS:

No, I was sent by the church to assist

you. My name is Father Harris.

They shake hands.

HARRIS:

Would you like to see the girl?

FATHER MCFEELY:

Soon. First, I must bless this house.

McFeely walks to a room and opens the door.

INT. ROOM -- CONTINUOUS

Small bare walls. A window in the center wall.

McFeely closes the door. He sits and opens a bible and begins

to read.

CLOSE ON:

The window. Flies begin to appear.

CLOSE ON:

McFeely. He wipes sweat from his brow.

BACK TO THE WINDOW:

More flies. Their BUZZING is loud.

McFeely, now sweating, profusely. He begins to cough.

The window is now covered with flies. The BUZZING is

deafening.

McFeely, coughing and gagging.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Lord, please help me to release this

demon.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL:

He's on the toilet. He lets out a loud fart followed by

plopping noises.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Thank you, Father.

A DEMONIC VOICE is heard.

DEMONIC VOICE (O.S.)

Get out!!! You f***in' pig!!!

The room door swings open.

McFeely tries to flush the toilet. It bubbles over with black

goo ala "THE AMITYVILLE HORROR." He hustles out of the

bathroom.

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE BATHROOM -- CONTINUOUS

McFeely staggers out. Father Harris rushes over.

HARRIS:

Father, are you okay?

FATHER MCFEELY:

Yeah, but you might wanna light a

match before you go in there.

(then)

Did you bring my bag?

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