Scary Movie 2 Page #2

HARRIS:

Yes.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Then let us prepare.

Both priests walk up the stairs.

CUT TO:

INT. MEGAN'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT

McFeely and Harris enter.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Remember, don't ask her too many

questions.

HARRIS:

Because she will lie?

FATHER MCFEELY:

No, because her breath smells like a

horse's ass.

Megan lays tied to the bed post of her bed. Her face is cut

up and twisted, eyes an eerie red. She's hooked up to an

I.V. with a small tube running out of her nose. It's shaped

like a CRAZY STRAW with red fluid going through it. The straw

leads to a cup. "SLURPIE!" Megan is wheezing, heavily. She

wears a tee-shirt that reads, "I went to Hell and all I got

was this stupid t-shirt."

They go to opposite sides of the room. Megan stares straight

ahead.

Father McFeely sees that next to Megan's bed are some get-

well cards, flowers, balloons, and a teddy bear. He picks up

one get-well card: It features a cheesy, happy cartoon dog

saying:
"Heard You Were Possessed By The Devil"... He flips

the card open and reads the punch line: "He Picked One Hell

Of A Nice Girl!"

McFeely, shivering, his breath visible, takes the metal cross

from his pocket and kisses it. But it's so cold in the room

that his lips instantly stick to the metal.

He struggles to pull his lips off the cross and finally

manages to painfully tear it off his face.

McFeely makes the sign of the cross to Megan.

MEGAN:

Shove it up your ass. You worthless

piece of sh*t!

FATHER MCFEELY:

Silence!!

Father McFeely tosses a mint in her mouth.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Look, my child. We've come to help

you.

Harris looks at Megan. He sits down on a chair besides the

window.

MEGAN/DEMON

Your mother's in here with us, Harris.

Would you like to leave a message?

I'll see that she gets it.

HARRIS:

If that's true, then you must know

my mother's name. What is it?

Megan keeps a sharp stare on Harris. Harris' smile turns to

an angry stare. He rises and moves to her bedside.

HARRIS:

What is it?

Megan leans forward. BLANCHHHH!!! She vomits a disgusting

green bile in Harris' face. Harris wipes it off, coughing.

HARRIS:

That's right. Blanche was my mother's

name. You are the devil.

Harris tosses holy water on Megan. She falls back, writhing.

FATHER MCFEELY:

It burns! It burns!

CLOSE ON:

McFeely, holding his crotch.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Damn Tijuana hooker.

Harris and McFeely begin to pray.

MCFEELY/HARRIS

Our Father who art in Heaven...

MEGAN:

Your mother sucks cock in Hell,

Harris.

Harris tries to ignore her.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Oh sh*t, you gonna take that?

HARRIS:

What?

FATHER MCFEELY:

What she said about your mother?

Harris fires back at Megan.

HARRIS:

Oh, yeah, well your mama got one leg

and does jumping jacks like this.

He puts his feet together and jumps them from side to side

as he claps his hands over his head.

MEGAN:

So, your mama's so fat when she walks

by my bed, it does this.

Her bed bounces and bucks off the floor.

HARRIS:

What about your mama? Her butt is so

big, she wipes her ass like this.

He makes an exaggerated movement of putting his hand behind

his head then brings it up high and back down over his face.

The exchange continues with the possessed girl getting the

best of Harris.

HARRIS:

Enough! Begone from this child of

God. I command you by the power of

the living and the dead...

Megan groaning, flicking her tongue wildly at McFeely.

HARRIS:

...to leave the young servant so

that she may return to her...

McFeely responds back with the same gesture, then simulates

her giving head, then starts wildly thrusting his pelvis,

simulating sex. Megan falls back on her pillow and moans.

Harris shoots McFeely a hard look.

McFeely stops. Harris continues.

HARRIS:

In the name of the Father, the Son,

and the Holy Spirit, I cast you out.

McFeely, coughing, hardly able to catch his breath.

Megan on the bed, laughing. Smoke billowing out of her mouth.

Harris rushes to McFeely.

HARRIS:

Father, are you alright?

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