Scary Movie 2 Page #3

McFeely nods yes, revealing he's smoking a joint.

FATHER MCFEELY:

This is some good sh*t.

He offers a hit to Harris.

HARRIS:

No thanks.

FATHER MCFEELY:

My holy water.

Harris gives him the bottle.

McFeely takes a swig.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Ahhh, that's better.

McFeely splashes some on Harris, playfully.

He clears his throat and starts again, taking turns splashing

the booze on her and taking sips from it.

FATHER MCFEELY:

The power of Christ compels you!

He splashes her again, then takes a sip.

She roars. Lights flicker. The scary, pale "DEATH HEAD"

flashes over her again. But this time, it's picking its nose.

The "DEATH HEAD" realizes it's seen and quickly pulls its

finger from its nose, trying to look all scary again.

FATHER MCFEELY:

The power of Christ compels you!

He splashes more booze on her and takes a sip. By this time,

Father McFeely is getting drunk.

FATHER MCFEELY:

(slurring)

The power of Chrishht compelshh yooo.

He's stumbling around, splashing the walls.

FATHER MCFEELY:

(slurring)

Power of compelshh Chrishhts you, or

something...

Suddenly, the girl's straps break and she starts floating

up.

Harris watches in awe. A MAGICIAN'S ASSISTANT passes a hoop

over her.

FATHER MCFEELY:

David Blaine, kiss my ass.

The girl continues to float up into spinning blades out of

the ceiling fan. WHACK! The blades slam into her head, sending

her flying back down on to the bed.

HARRIS:

Father, I think you should rest.

FATHER MCFEELY:

No, I'm fine.

He staggers over to the bed, kneels and starts to pray.

Harris exits the room to retrieve his medical bag. He returns

to find McFeely lying unconscious on the bed. Megan, sitting,

quiet looks at McFeely.

Harris rushes over to McFeely.

HARRIS:

Father!

Harris grabs McFeely and throws him down to the ground.

McFeely's eyes open.

FATHER MCFEELY:

I must have dozed off.

Harris, caught up in the moment, is oblivious that McFeely

is okay. He starts pounding violently on his chest.

HARRIS:

No!!!

Harris knee-drops McFeely. His efforts to revive McFeely

resemble a WWF grudge match. Harris diving off of furniture,

slamming down on McFeely. Finally, he checks his pulse. He

thinks McFeely is dead. Harris shouts out at Megan.

HARRIS:

Look what you've done!

Megan sits, quietly.

Harris dives on top of Megan and starts choking her.

HARRIS:

Take me! Take me!

NEW ANGLE:

McFeely sits up, still drunk and disoriented. He notices

Harris on the bed.

MCFEELY'S POV:

He sees Father Harris on his hands and knees. His robe is

hiked above his waist exposing his naked ass.

HARRIS:

Take me! God damn you, take me!

McFeely, now on his feet, smiles as he moves toward Harris.

CLOSE ON:

Harris' face.

It turns to shock and horror. He looks possessed as we hear

the sound of penetration.

HARRIS:

Nooooo!!!!!

Harris dives out the window.

McFeely watches as Harris tumbles down the long staircase.

Megan begins to giggle.

MEGAN:

You failed, McFeely. Your weapons

are useless against me.

FATHER MCFEELY:

You're mistaken my child. The Lord

has greater weapons than me.

McFeely picks up his bible.

FATHER MCFEELY:

Hear the word of the Lord and be

humbled!

McFeely lifts up a crucifix.

FATHER MCFEELY:

See the cross of the Lord and tremble!

If ye still not have faith, then...

McFeely reaches into his jacket and pulls out a .44 magnum.

FATHER MCFEELY:

...suck on this!!!

Megan's eyes widen.

BLAM!!!

THE SCREEN GOES BLACK.

SMASH CUT TO:

TITLE CARD:

"SCARY MOVIE II"

CUT TO:

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS -- DAY -- ESTABLISHING SHOT

The campus is alive as STUDENTS make their way to class.

CLOSE ON:

A souped-up muscle car driving through the parking lot.

CUT TO:

INT. CAR -- CONTINUOUS

The driver, DWIGHT, a nerdy man between 25-30, glasses,

thinning hair line. He drives recklessly, shouting at the

people in his path as he honks his horn.

DWIGHT:

Come on. Move it.

A GUY ON CRUTCHES walks in front of the car.

DWIGHT:

Come on, peg legs. I ain't got all

day.

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