Scary Movie 2 Page #4

Dwight whizzes past, causing the man to fall.

Dwight notices a girl in a short skirt.

DWIGHT:

Hey, sweetie, ever heard of a gym?

I've seen pool sticks bigger than

those thighs.

Dwight continues. He finds a parking space, whizzing before

another car that has been waiting to take the space.

Dwight yells at the irate motorist.

DWIGHT:

Sorry, but the fastest feet win.

Dwight shuts off the engine, and opens the door before he

exits. We see a wheelchair unfold. Dwight hops in. He is

paralyzed from the waist down. His legs dangle, lifeless. On

his feet, a new pair of Air Jordan sneakers.

Dwight wheels around to his trunk. He pops it open and removes

his briefcase and a Razor scooter. He places his feet on the

scooter and rolls the wheelchair with his hands. Off he goes.

CUT TO:

EXT. CAMPUS -- LATER

In the middle of the campus quad, there is a distinguished

statue of Thomas Jefferson.

PAN DOWN TO REVEAL:

A black woman slave and a bunch of nappy-headed black kids.

A plaque reads:
"Once you go black, you never go back"...

Sitting on the base of the statue are CINDY and SHORTY.

CINDY:

So, do you think you made it into

the class?

SHORTY:

I don't know, but I sure hope so.

CINDY:

You could use the grade, huh?

SHORTY:

Nah, I need a place to stay. So how

do you like being in college?

CINDY:

Okay, I guess. It's so intimidating.

You know being away from home, not

knowing anyone. I feel like such a

geek sometimes. Everyone's so cool

and I'm so not.

SHORTY:

Aww, you ain't that bad. You just

need a little flava. First thing we

gotta do is get you some new gear.

CINDY:

Huh?

SHORTY:

Gear. You know, clothing.

CINDY:

Oh.

SHORTY:

Let's start with some rhythm. Sway

back and forth like this.

Shorty demonstrates. Cindy begins to mimic, clumsily.

SHORTY:

Yeah, something like that.

(then)

Now, go left, right, left, right,

crossover kick...

Shorty demonstrates. Cindy follows.

CINDY:

Left, right, left, right, crossover

kick...

SHORTY:

Now you gotta learn the correct slang.

Shorty begins to demonstrate.

CINDY:

Yo! That jacket is tight.

SHORTY:

Yeah, now go uhn, uhn, uhn!

CINDY:

Uhn! Uhn! Uhn!

SHORTY:

Yeah, you feel that? Now put it all

together.

Cindy now completely rhythmic and soulful, executes the

combination, just as a nicely dressed YOUNG FEMALE STUDENT

passes by.

CINDY:

Left...

POW!!! Cindy connects with the student's jaw.

CINDY:

POW!!!

Another crunching blow.

CINDY:

Crossover kick...

Cindy smashes her foot to the face of the student. The student

falls to the ground.

CINDY:

Uhn! That jacket is tight. Now run

that sh*t, b*tch.

The student nervously gives Cindy her nice leather jacket.

Cindy slaps Shorty high-five.

The student takes off running.

Cindy puts on the jacket and poses in a gangster lean.

CINDY:

Am I cool now?

SHORTY:

Almost... Look, I gotta bounce. I'll

holla at you later.

Cindy gives Shorty a hug. They go their separate ways.

CUT TO:

INT. MEN'S DORM -- RAY'S ROOM -- LATER

RAY, and his roommate, TOMMY, are getting dressed. Their

friend, BUDDY, waits impatiently.

BUDDY:

Hey, man, you two boners aren't ready

yet? We're gonna miss the bus, Ray.

Coach says if our GPA drops below 2

we're off the squad.

RAY:

Don't worry, we'll make it. Say,

what do you guys think, tucked in or

out?

REVEAL:

Ray, naked with his dick tucked between his legs, making it

look like he has a vagina.

BUDDY/TOMMY

Out!!!

RAY:

No doubt. That's what I thought.

Ray and Tommy continue to get dresses. Buddy waits.

BUDDY:

If you two hadn't been out partying

last night, you'd be ready by now.

TOMMY:

It was awesome, dudes. We got f***ing

wasted. I had like a whole keg. Dude,

I was so shitfaced. I woke up naked

in a tub of ice.

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