Scary Movie 2 Page #5

RAY:

(laughing)

I woke up naked, too.

TOMMY:

Hey, dude, you got a tattoo.

RAY:

What does it say?

TOMMY:

It says, "Ray."

RAY:

(checks Tommy's back)

Sweet. Hey, you got a tattoo, too.

TOMMY:

Get out?! What does it say?

RAY:

"F***ed me."

TOMMY:

Aww. Cool. Dude.

They read each other's tattoos ala "Dude, Where's My Car?"

TOMMY:

"Ray!"

RAY:

"F***ed me."

TOMMY:

"Ray!"

RAY:

"F***ed me."

TOMMY/RAY

"Ray f***ed me."

TOMMY:

Hey!

RAY:

What?

Buddy gives Tommy a wedgy.

BUDDY:

Wedgy moment.

TOMMY:

Totally got me, f***.

He tries to fix his underwear.

BUDDY:

Come on, dude. We're gonna be late.

Ray grabs his stuff. He and Buddy exit.

RAY:

See you later, man.

CUT TO:

EXT. CAMPUS -- DAY

Cindy passes several activity booths. She notices a YOUNG

PRETTY GIRL on the phone, obviously upset. Her name is ALEX.

ALEX:

(into phone)

That's it! I don't want to be treated

like this anymore. It's over. Goodbye.

Have a nice life.

She hangs up the phone. Cindy approached.

CINDY:

Are you okay?

ALEX:

Yeah, I'm fine. I just broke up with

my boyfriend, that's all.

CINDY:

That's always tough. How long were

you together?

ALEX:

Well, we never made it official, so

I guess we were technically never

really boyfriend and girlfriend, but

I was seeing him in school. I saw

him at the mall about six months ago

and I was too nervous to introduce

myself so I followed him to his car,

and jotted down the license plate

number. It was registered to his

mother, so I went to her house. She

was so nice. I mean, she seemed like

she would be nice 'cuz I never really

spoke to her. I just waited til she

went to work then I climbed in through

her window and borrowed her phone

book. I say borrowed because I'm

going to give it back one day. But

anyway, I called everyone in it til

I found her son. He wasn't home when

I called so I left this message how

much in love I was with him. I was,

and how I wanted to have his children.

Just really opening up, and he never

called back. I'd call and call, and

anyway, six months and two restraining

orders later I just decided I deserved

better. What about you? Do you have

a boyfriend?

CINDY:

No, I haven't dated in a while. My

last boyfriend's...

Alex interrupts, totally uninterested in Cindy's story.

ALEX:

Hey, look there. My friend Brenda.

CLOSE ON:

BRENDA is on the financial aid line, standing before the

CASHIER.

CASHIER:

Okay, here's your loan check. Your

grant check. Your disability check.

And oh, a block of government cheese.

BRENDA:

Thanks.

She steps out of line. We see behind her a HOMELESS MAN,a

WELFARE MOTHER with KIDS, a CRACK ADDICT, etc.

Cindy and Alex approach.

ALEX:

Hey, Brenda.

BRENDA:

Do I know you?

ALEX:

Well, actually, we've never met

officially, but I bumped into you at

the cafeteria and you were so sweet.

I said, "I'm sorry," and you said,

"Watch it, white b*tch, or I'll put

my size eight in your ass." I thought

how cool. I wear a size eight, too.

Anyway, this is my best friend, Cindy.

CINDY:

We already know each other. Hey,

Brenda.

BRENDA:

Hey, Cindy. Your friend needs help.

CINDY:

Actually, I just met her. This is

Alex.

BRENDA:

Oh my god. Madam Elsa, my psychic,

told me I would meet somebody whose

name starts with a letter of the

alphabet today.

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