Scary Movie 2 Page #6

CINDY:

Really? That's amazing.

BRENDA:

Hey girl, that jacket is slamming.

CINDY:

Thanks.

BRENDA:

You better be careful. I heard some

girl got her ass whooped and jacket

stolen earlier today.

(off Cindy's look)

Hey, what class do we have next?

CINDY:

Psychology.

ALEX:

Me, too. 101?

BRENDA:

In room "302" at ten o'clock?

ALEX:

That's it.

BRENDA:

Oh, this is too much. I'm gonna have

to play these numbers. Remind me to

pick up a Lotto ticket.

The girls take a few steps before Brenda grabs Cindy by the

arm just as they're about to pass an iron post between them.

BRENDA:

Wait, don't split the pole. It's bad

luck.

Brenda walks around Cindy's side and they go on to class.

ALEX:

You don't really believe that stuff.

Just then, TWO OTHER STUDENTS split the pole on either side

and are mowed down by a car.

BRENDA:

Oh yes, girl. After my near-death

experience, I've become very

spiritual. I can feel my angels all

around me, Oh, look a penny...

Brenda picks up the penny. They walk past a fountain.

BRENDA:

That's good luck. Wait, let me make

a wish and throw it in the fountain.

(closing her eyes)

I wish for a lot of money.

She tosses the penny into the fountain.

BRENDA:

(opening her eyes)

Oh, look, it worked.

She reaches down in the fountain and grabs both hands full

of coins.

BRENDA:

God is good, y'all

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS -- ESTABLISHING SHOT -- A SHORT TIME

LATER:

CUT TO:

INT. SCIENCE BUILDING -- CONTINUOUS

A STUDENT walks up a flight of steps through a set of swinging

doors.

He sees Dwight coming towards the doors in his wheelchair.

STUDENT:

There you go my man.

DWIGHT:

Hey, pal, I can handle a door by

myself.

STUDENT:

Fine.

The student let the doors go. They swing, smashing into

Dwight, sending him flying. ANOTHER YOUNG STUDENT rushes to

help.

STUDENT #2

Are you okay? Let me help you to the

handicapped ramp.

DWIGHT:

I am not handicapped! I can use the

steps like anyone else.

Dwight wheels himself over to the stairs. He successfully

navigates one step then goes tumbling violently down the

rest.

DWIGHT:

That's one more than last week!

INT. SCIENCE BUILDING - PROFESSOR OLDMAN'S OFFICE - A SHORT

TIME LATER:

Dwight and PROFESSOR OLDMAN, 50's, distinguished, are present.

DWIGHT:

I finished all the interviews.

PROFESSOR:

Let me see the files.

DWIGHT:

They're on top of the bookshelf.

I'll get them.

Dwight wheels himself over to a bookshelf. As he attempts to

retrieve the folder, the professor moves to assist him.

PROFESSOR:

Let me help you.

DWIGHT:

I don't need your help. I'm perfectly

capable.

Dwight climbs the bookshelf, reaches the top, and lifts up

the folder. Just then, the bookshelf topples over on top of

Dwight. His hand extends from the mess, holding the folder.

DWIGHT:

Here you go, Professor.

PROFESSOR:

Are these all the subjects?

Dwight, disheveled, glasses bent, gets back in his wheelchair

and makes his way over to the Professor.

DWIGHT:

Yes. The scored all over the Kiersey

Temperament Sorter just like you

asked for.

PROFESSOR:

Any of them hot?

Dwight rolls his eyes.

DWIGHT:

I also took the liberty of putting

those with near-death experiences on

top.

PROFESSOR:

Good thinking, Dwight. Traumatized

co-eds are a sure thing.

DWIGHT:

(dripping with contempt)

As I am sure you are aware, Professor,

subjects who are close to death are

statistically more likely to have

the suggestibility required for

paranormal investigation, which is,

of course, why I've given them special

consideration.

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