Scary Movie 3 Page #2

- Sounds good!

Would, could, should, 'hood.

- Ugh!

- Gug, mug, dug, bug.

If we say we'll come,

will you shut your ass up?

Okay, then.

Fresh.

I'll see you guys

tomorrow night.

Okay. Bye.

Peace out.

Now, who the f*** did that?

Honey, what is it?

Are you having

one of your visions?

There's a girl...

with black hair.

She wants to kill you.

Your period starts

in three... two... one.

What else?

Cody, what else do you see?

I see a little boy

and a grown woman.

But no father.

Oh, Cody.

I see you kneeling in dog sh*t.

What? Ugh!

Oh, for God's sake.

Cody, don't you understand?

As long as we have each other,

that's all we need.

I know things have been tough

for you since your mom died.

God, I have been so selfish.

Always putting my career first.

From now on, I'm gonna be

thinking about you 24...

Damn!

Wait, Cindy!

Wait!

Aah!

Honey, I'm gonna be

leaving soon, so...

Do you know who she is?

No.

But sometimes she talks to me.

She's coming tonight.

[Knock on door]

Oh, Father Muldoon.

Cindy.

I'm so grateful you could come.

I've called all over

for babysitters.

I don't mind filling in

now and then.

Where is little Cody?

[Footsteps]

- [Door slams]

- I don't know.

He must be back in his room,

playing.

Anyway, I left a number where

I can be reached on the table.

Also, he has a little rash

on his behind.

So make sure he takes a bath.

Thank you, Father.

Good night.

Cody?

You can't stop us

Who you looking at?

Don't try to drop us

This ain't no...

[Crowd cheering]

MAHALIK:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's getting thick up in here.

Hey, look, before we get on

with the battles tonight,

I got a couple announcements

to make.

I know y'all want to bust a cap

in the air

for your favorite rapper.

But if you could please hold on

to your gunfire

until the end of the show.

[Jeering]

Let's just put the safeties on.

It's on the left side of the gun

above the trigger guard.

[Bullet ricochets,

woman shrieks]

Will somebody get his ass

out of here?

All right.

Deejay, spin that sh*t!

[Up-tempo beat plays]

[Crowd cheers]

Whoa!

My bad.

Mother...

Brenda, is something wrong?

You look scared.

I don't know. All that stuff

you was saying on TV...

I just got a weird feeling

something bad is heading my way.

Like when you see

an Asian person

behind the wheel of a car.

Cindy, after the show, you think

you could come back to my crib

and hang out with me?

I don't want to be alone.

Oh, of course I will, Brenda.

Oh, I love you.

Pay my way, okay?

Yo, yo, yo, George!

What's up with the man

with the tightest rap game

on the streets, baby?

- What's good with you, boy?

- Dude!

What's good, baby?

Finally, the white man is gonna

school the black man

on how to rap.

- Yeah!

- Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

How many people are here,

you think?

I don't know, man.

chrome-packing,

ready to bust a cap

in any white boy's ass

- who ain't bringing that sh*t.

- Yeah. At least. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Word.

What's wrong, George?

You ever wonder when it's time

to stop living up here

and start living down here?

No, but what if we stop living

over here and move over there?

My Aunt ShaNeequa used to live

over there, man.

But that b*tch got evicted.

- Word? What for?

- I'm dead serious.

- Mice.

- Mice? I thought she had rats.

No, man. Rats are outside.

Mice are inside.

What if a mouse goes outside?

Does it become a rat?

If a rat is in the house,

is it a mouse?

I ain't never seen

no mouse outside.

That's because it's a rat, fool!

Damn, you might have just made

a fact just now.

Fellas, what are you guys

talking about?

Yo, George, you need something?

'Cause I will do anything

for you.

Anything.

Well, about those

chrome-packing,

whitey-hating gangsters,

perhaps...

- What he need is a hype man.

- Word!

Yeah, yeah, a-come on

You can be his Spliff Star.

That's me.

That's what I do.

That's my job, baby!

That's what I do!

You know that.

Goddamn.

[Crash]

I'm cool.

That's what I do.

When you a hype man,

you take them hits.

Heads or tail, playboy,

what's it gonna be?

You cannot escape

your fate in the streets

Okay, I count cash,

you count sheep

You better not sleep

on the beats, capisce

[Crowd cheering]

All right, all right, all right!

That was hot!

That's what I'm talking about.

That was hot, right?

Right?

Yo, what do we think?

I thought you were both

absolutely dreadful.

Ghastly.

What?

I don't know

what I'm doing here.

This club is totally pathetic.

[Crowd yelling]

Everybody put your hands up

You ready, George?

- It's showtime, baby.

- Okay.

I just want to let you know

no matter what goes on

on that stage tonight...

you'll always be in my heart.

Oh, that's love.

That's love right there.

- I love you.

- That's what I'm talking about.

I love you, man.

Can you feel it?

Can you feel my love

on your hip?

Can you feel it?

C. J:

I can't get around!

Come on, dawg!

That's what I'm talkin' about!

You go out there and you

rip it tonight. All right, man?

You do your thing tonight,

all right?

- Okay. Cool.

- We shouldn't have to do that.

We love each other.

I'm gonna go bring you on.

Let's do it, baby.

We hyped!

Yeah.

All right, all right.

Y'all ready

for the next throwdown?

To my left, we have

the reigning champion.

Hailing from Fort Apache

in the Bronx.

B X!

What? What? What?

Some of y'all call him

"Jealous Ones Still Envy."

Some of y'all call him

the Don Cartagena!

Some of y'all call him

Joey Crack.

Stick 'em up!

But, tonight, let's give it up

for Fat Joe!

I got to go against him?

Give it up!

Give it up!

What you think,

they're here to see Fat Joe?

CROWD:

Joe! Joe! Joe!

No, man, they're saying,

"Go! Go! Go!"

Now my challenger.

Whoo!

He's a farmer rapper.

So you know he been kicking

the sh*t all day!

Let's give it up

for my man, George!

That's what I'm talking about!

Yeah! Yeah!

Come on, everybody!

Put your hands...

That's right.

Okay, Joey Crack.

You're the reigning champion,

so you get to spit first.

Yo, deejay, spin that sh*t!

[Mid-tempo beat plays]

These guys can't be serious

right here.

Stan and Mini-Me

A.K.A. I hope he ain't

the one you fight with

Hey, yo,

this nigga's mad corny

And ain't got no skills,

'cause he's all right

TOGETHER:

But he's not real

Don't mean to hurt

your feelings

But you'll never get a deal

'Cause he's all right,

but he's not real

You're a needle

in a haystack

I'm the don,

the city slicker

Forget cows

and milk your moms

Her titties give ya

that elixir

Thought he wasn't?

Bet this nigga end up

having kids with his cousin

Half-retarded,

my number-one fan be like

[Stammers]

That means Fat Joe's

the man

You're a liar in denial

Kill your ass quicker

than I died in "Empire"

How dare you want to joust

with me?

Looking like you dying

of SARS or mad cow disease

You fake B-Rabbit

out to battle me

Eight miles down the road

The farm's thataway

Oh! Okay, let's go!

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