Scary Movie 3 Page #7

She may hold the key

to defeating the aliens.

Ah, good. The Air Force is here

with those new round planes.

We don't have round planes, sir.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- [Hip-hop music plays]

- Wait. Do you hear that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Ah, ah, ah, ah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

- Yo, what's up, George?

- C.J.!

I told you the 'hood

always got your back.

I got the boys with me.

Get out the car, man.

Who we gonna shoot?

Is y'all ready to go step?

Let's go do this,

'cause I'm hyped right now!

- Real hyped!

- You stepped on my shoe, b*tch!

Call me "b*tch" again,

and I'll park your truck

dead in your ass.

Damn, homey!

- In the cornfield.

- They're coming!

Me and my boys,

we gonna take care of this.

Come on, let's go.

Son, I'd bust

this sh*t right now.

- Your mama!

- I got your number, homey.

- We over here, y'all!

- He ain't gonna bust nothing.

I got nuts bigger than him.

Whoa, country-ass,

maple-syrup nigga.

Yeah, you want some biscuits?

You want some biscuits?

Get down!

Get down!

I can't believe what I just saw.

These men died

for their country.

Send flowers

to their b*tches and hos.

I can't break free!

Think! They must have

some kind of weakness.

- Huh?

- Huh?

I found it!

Without their heads,

they're powerless!

Please, no.

We mean you no harm.

We traveled to your planet

to find an evil little girl.

We must destroy her

before seven days.

You mean you watched

the videotape?

Our satellite picked up what

we thought was "Pootie Tang."

That was a week ago.

And now our entire race will die

unless the girl is destroyed.

Oh, see?

They are peaceful.

If they're so peaceful,

why were they choking us?

Oh, that's how we say hello.

- Hello!

- Nice to see you.

- Hello.

- Hello.

Well, how do you guys

say goodbye?

Oh!

[Groans]

I had to ask.

If you think that's strange,

you should see how we pee.

[Choking]

So we're not so different

after all.

There's something

about this place.

It's like I've seen it before.

Oh, my God.

This used to be their farm.

She died right here.

There's something down there.

Ugh!

Hey, awesome.

Yeah, you got it.

Just look at this.

Human beings and aliens

working together.

We're all just

one big galactic family.

Family.

That's just what

I've been running away from.

Well, that's because

you're an idiot.

This is it.

ARCHITECT:
My wife took her

to the family farm

and drowned her in the well.

The little girl.

She's frightened of the well.

[Gasps]

Aah!

- Ugh!

- Cindy!

[Crowbar clanks]

[Chainsaw sputters, buzzes]

Time to go back

down the well, b*tch.

[Growling]

Cindy!

No.

Don't hurt him!

Cindy, come outside.

- The aliens aren't invading.

- Aah!

Aah!

Don't worry, Cody.

I'll save you.

- Aah!

- CINDY:
Wait!

Wait.

Don't do this.

You don't have to be evil.

I know what happened

to you, Tabitha.

I know what your mom did.

That was wrong.

You were just a little girl.

You're still that little girl,

just a lot more corpsy

and with really bad teeth.

But maybe all you need

is a mother.

And a father.

We could be...

A family.

Thank you all.

Your love has broken the curse

and freed my soul.

I'll never have to kill again.

Really?

Nah!

I'm just screwing with you!

[Grunts]

Aah!

I just want to tell you both

good luck.

- We're all counting on you.

- [Splash]

Now it's over.

- [Gasps]

- Aah!

Oh, no, no, it's okay.

He's our friend.

Thank you for saving

our species.

Now we must return

to our home planet.

Goodbye, then.

Ugh!

Goodbye.

Hey, congratulations, George!

You know the 'hood

always got your back.

Yeah, yeah!

Come on!

Bye!

Whoo!

- Oh!

- Oh!

ALL:
Bye!

Oh, George, I'm so happy.

Finally we're a family.

Yeah.

You, me, and...

- Damn!

- Damn!

[Tires screeching]

Cindy, George, wait!

[Sighs]

Come on

"Scary Movie 3"

Welcome to the future, baby

You think you hot sh*t 'cause

you got ice on your wrist

Now, y'all picture this...

tough guy turned snitch

Knew he was lying

by the way his eyes twitch

He gulp when he swallow

When he spoke,

his voice pitch

My first thought's

to slap him up, but I'm grown

So I dropped a jewel

in his ear

Told him get on,

leave it alone

Now he's asking questions he

shoulda asked from the start

I'm gonna spit from the

heart, spit till it's dark

From the stage in the park,

I'm gonna bite if you bark

Just to show him

that it's fun to me

And take a look at what

being broke gonna mean

I am the truth,

plus I'm hungry

Heads or tail, playboy,

what's it gonna be?

You cannot escape your fate

in the streets

Okay, I'll count cash,

you count sheep

Better not sleep

on the beats, capisce

Ain't no jokes in here

Ain't nothing but grown folk

up in here

Don't come poking

your nose in here

Listen to me,

I ain't scared

Ain't no jokes in here

Ain't nothing but

grown folks up in here

Don't come poking

your nose in here

Listen to me,

I ain't scared

Now, Dame Lee

This is slow motion

like a Japanese warrior

I'm a shogun

If I got beef

with more than one problem

You can't afford 'em, son

Used to mess with your chick

out of boredom, son

Then I'd make her leave

like she was autumn, son

I'm not talking to him,

I'm talking to all of them

I don't discriminate,

I'm who they women love

Yo, I'm who

they kids look up to

Hi, my name is Dame Lee

I do it 'cause I can,

do you blame me?

Watch how you feel about me

Everything

that I spit is true

And my fam got the same blood

running through them, too

You shook, son,

look at how you looking

Wearing tampon singles

I'm a beast over beats

I count cash,

you count sheep

Don't sleep on the beats

I'm a beast

Ain't no jokes in here

Ain't nothing but grown folk

up in here

Don't come poking

your nose in here

Listen to me,

I ain't scared

Ain't no jokes in here

Ain't nothing but grown folk

up in here

Don't come poking

your nose in here

Listen to me...

You can live or you can

die, die, die

You can bounce up like a "G"

or break down and cry

You's a beotch, unh, yeah

And that's word

from the ill crowd

Thug, look at what you got,

please

Poppin' shots

on your enemies

It ain't no slick talkin'

your way out the battle

The tension's real thick,

gettin' beefier than cattle

So you cowboys grab

your heater and your saddle

Mount up, unh, yeah,

get your jollies

Don't be too nervous, buddy,

'cause I'ma get to dissin'

While your homey's

givin' up

Two fingers

like Richard Nixon

I keep it real street 'cause

I'm bred from the street

T- shirt upon my back,

Chuck Taylors on my feet

Major bubblin'

major fumblin', be troublin'

Broads is into major humpin',

I'm livin' for somethin'

I envied nothin',

I never be frontin'

Just check how a be coming

Bonecrusher,

homey, you heard

Might be boozy

but I ain't bankin' no curves

Off the dank and the drank,

I be chasin' them skirts

Thug, look at what you got,

please

Poppin' shots

on your enemies

Thug, look at what you got,

please

Poppin' shots

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