Scary Movie Page #2

Cast member realizing he's in the wrong place.

DAWSON CAST MEMBER

Sorry, wrong set.

He leaves through the adjacent window.

Enter Bobby.

CINDY:

Bobby, what are you doing? My dad's in

the other room.

BOBBY:

It just occurred to me I never

climbed in your window before.

CINDY:

Well, now that you got it out of

your system'

SUDDENLY:

The bedroom door bursts open. The doorknob catches on the

open closet door jamming

it, holding it in place.

Cindy's dad looks through the partially opened door.

DAD:

What's going on in there?

CINDY:

Can you knock?

DAD:

I thought I heard screaming.

CINDY:

No, you didn't.

DAD:

Must have been those 'shrooms I

had earlier. Look, I gotta leave

town. A recent business venture went

bad, some money came up missing. I

gotta lay low for a while. If a

man named Tito calls, tell him to page

me. If they raid the place'

CINDY:

I never heard of you.

DAD:

And don't forget'

CINDY:

'to flush your stash.

DAD:

If you need some money, I left a

little something in the coffee can.

Be sure to cut it or somebody's gonna

O.D.

CINDY:

Have a good trip.

DAD:

Sleep tight sweetie.

Cindy closes the door.

CINDY:

That was close.

BOBBY:

I was home watching "The Exorcist", and

it got me thinking of you.

CINDY:

If this is about the time I puked green

slime and masturbated with a crucifix,

it was my first keg party.

BOBBY:

No, the movie was edited for T.V. All

the good stuff was cut out.

CINDY:

So you thought you would just climb

through my window and we would play bump

bump?

As they talk, a YOUNG STREET HOOD climbs in the window and

starts loading things

into a sack, no one notices.

BOBBY:

Well, I was hoping to get my

balls licked but I wouldn't

dream of breaking your underwear rule.

I just thought we might do

some "on top of the clothes" stuff.

She snuggles up to him.

CINDY:

Okay, just for a minute.

They kiss and lay back on the bed. He lifts up her nighty,

slides his hand between her

legs. She spreads her legs.

He feels a shock.

BOBBY STARTLED.

Instead of elastic, tiny barbed wire runs along the

perimeter. There's also a zapping

electrified fence and a sign reading: NO TRESPASSING.

BOBBY:

I see.

Undeterred, he kisses her again.

STREET HOOD TAKES BOBBY'S WALLET, PUTS IT IN HIS SACK AND

CLIMBS:

OUT THE WINDOW.

CINDY:

(Breaking the kiss)

Okay stud, you have to go now.

They stand and walk to the window.

CINDY (CONT'D)

I appreciate the romantic gesture.

She takes his finger and puts it in her mouth sucking it

slowly.

He takes his finger out of her mouth ' it's now three times

its' normal size and

THROBBING.

BOBBY:

See what you do to me?

He starts to climb out the window.

CINDY:

Hey, would you settle for PG-13?

She opens her top, exposing her chest.

We see eight tiny little titties.

The shock sends Bobby falling out of the window.

CINDY (CONT'D)

Goodnight'

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' PARKING LOT ' DAY

Close on compact car. Bumper sticker reads "Save the

Environment". Pull back reveal

smoke billowing out of the exhaust.

Cindy arrives. Brandy meets her curbside.

BRANDY:

Come on, girl, move your tired white

ass.

Cindy gathering her books and purse from the car.

CINDY:

I'm coming.

BRANDY:

Move your pasty white, milk chalky,

bologna smelling, cracker devil, honky

bit'

CINDY:

Hello?!

BRANDY:

I'm sorry girl. I rented "Amistad" last

night. I got issues. It's cool. Come

on, we're gonna be late.

They start to walk to class, when Cindy sees Buffy arriving

via Daddy's new Mercedes.

CINDY:

Wait, there's Buffy.

BRANDY:

I don't know why you hang out with

her. She's such a ho.

CINDY:

Why do you say that?

BRANDY:

Cause I've seen her. My friend Sean had

a pool party this summer.

CINDY:

Sean?

BRANDY:

You know, Puff Daddy.

BRANDY (CONT'D)

Anyways, everybody was drinking Crystal

champagne. Then it started to get wild,

people was getting freaky in the pool and

stuff. I looked over and there was your

girl getting buck wild in the Jacuzzi.

CINDY:

So?

BRANDY:

With a backup dancer! That's lower than

a security guard! At least security can

get you backstage.

CINDY:

I think Buffy is sweet.

BRANDY:

She's as fake as press on nails.

They greet Buffy.

BRANDY (CONT'D)

Hey girl, what's up?

Brandy and Buffy kiss as though they were best friends.

BRANDY (CONT'D)

Hey, lookin' good, love your hair!

BUFFY:

Thanks, just got it done.

Cindy waves goodbye to Buffy's dad as he drives off.

CINDY:

Bye Mr. Gilmore!

BUFFY:

(not looking back)

Is he gone?

CINDY:

Yes.

Buffy rips off her clothes, revealing a sexy outfit

underneath. She lets her hair down and with a shake of her

head, a new do, worthy of a sex kitten.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' FRONT WALKWAY ' DAY

The girls walk together towards campus.

Brandy passes her a makeup pack. Buffy applies her makeup.

Cindy passes her the

lipstick. Two strokes and the transformation from Daddy's

baby to every high school

guy's wet dream is complete.

BUFFY:

I love this color!

CINDY:

Let me see that.

Cindy checks the label.

CINDY (CONT'D)

You guys shouldn't use this brand.

BRANDY:

Why not?

CINDY:

Because they test their make-up on

animals.

BRANDY:

So?

CINDY:

Have you seen what they do to those

poor animals?

Cindy shows them a flyer that reads "Stop Animal Testing".

A picture of a monkey in full make-up.

BUFFY:

(taking back the lipstick)

Well, I'm more of a people person.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

I'd rather help my fellow man than some

animal.

A homeless man approaches.

HOMELESS MAN:

Spare a dollar?

BUFFY:

Get away from me you bum!

CINDY:

Buffy!? Can't you see that he's just hungry?

Cindy gives the man a sandwich from her lunch bag.

CINDY:

Here you go. A nice sandwich.

The girls walk away. Suddenly, Cindy is hit in the back of

the head by the sandwich.

HOMELESS MAN:

(V.O.)

I said a dollar b*tch!

The girls attention is distracted by a commotion on campus.

BUFFY:

God, look at this place, it's a circus!

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' FRONT ' DAY

NEW ANGLE ' HOARDS OF MEDIA

In the midst of the chaos, we pan around to see various

reporters attempting to report the

story. Close on young attractive overly ambitious woman,

GAIL HAILSTORM,

syndicated talk show host and author.

Gail is giving an update on camera. Behind her an obnoxious

KID is mugging for the

camera.

GAIL:

Hello, I'm Gail Hailstorm, author of

the book "You're Dead, I'm Rich". A

small college town is in shock after

the unthinkable has happened.

KID in background is hamming it up.

GAIL (CONT'D)

A brutal killing spree that left one

teen dead.

KID really performing for the camera. Gail, annoyed, turns

and shoots the kid.

GAIL (CONT'D)

Correction, two teens dead.

Next reporter, straight laced WHITE MALE.

WHITE MALE REPORTER

Police are searching for clues.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' CURB SIDE ' DAY

Then a BLACK MALE REPORTER, barely outside of his van,

hurriedly gives his report.

BLACK MALE REPORTER

Reporting live for Black TV. White folks

are dead, and we are about to get the

hell out of here! Let's roll, Jack.

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