Scary Movie Page #3

His crew jumps in the van and they burn out.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' FRONT WALKWAY ' DAY

BRANDY:

Do you believe this?

CINDY:

What happened?

BUFFY:

Didn't you hear? Drew Decker got killed

last night.

CINDY:

(disturbed)

What? Oh my God! She sits next to me in

English class.

BRANDY:

Was she a friend?

CINDY:

No, I was gonna cheat off her test

today. Now I'm like f***ed! Do

they know who did it?

BRANDY:

Clueless.

BUFFY:

They showed a picture of her body on

the news. It was pretty scary.

CINDY:

All the blood?

BUFFY:

No, she was wearing a Gucci sweater

and Payless shoes! That's such a

fashion disaster! Do you think the

press is going to interview us?

BRANDY:

No way. The press only want to interview

the most ignorant person they can find.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' DAY

The media is surrounding a young black teen sporting a short

black afro with a pick

sticking out, a hemp emblemed t-shirt and a roach clip on a

chain around his neck. He

smiles, revealing a gold cap on a rotting tooth. His name

is SHORTY.

REPORTER:

Can we have a word with you?

SHORTY:

Oh sh*t, I'm on TV. I wanna give a

shout out to Shane and dem! Peace to my

peeps, much love to the east and west,

Tasha, wake up, the baby's daddy is a

staraah!!

REPORTER:

What can you tell us about Drew Decker?

SHORTY:

She got a fat ass, kid! Ya know what I

mean?

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' DAY

Shorty stands smoking a fat joint, looking up at two

billboard ads. One reads, "Just Say

No." The other, a Nike ad that reads, "Just Do It." He

looks back and forth between the

two. Heavily contemplating both messages. Finally, he

looks down at his own tennis

shoes. Then back up to the Nike ad.

SHORTY:

Yo, son, I'm with you. Just do that

sh*t.

He takes a long drag off his joint and exits.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' DAY

Shorty and his HOMIES kick it up on the school lawn.

Getting high and tripping off

Drew's death.

SHORTY:

Yo, son, that's f***ed up that Drew

got killed.

HOMIE #1

Word.

SHORTY:

I didn't even get to f*** her.

HOMIE #2

True dat. True dat.

SHORTY:

I'm just glad that it wasn't one of us.

HOMIE #1

Word?

SHORTY:

Yo, son, don't you know? A brotha'

never lasts long in these types of

situations.

HOMIE #2

True dat. True dat.

SHORTY:

Kid, in the most successful horror

flicks, most niggas don't even make

it to the credits, yo.

HOMIE #1

Word.

SHORTY:

That's why we as a people have to

come together and show up to the

movies on time if we want to see

our black people die. If you stop

to get a forty, you could miss the

whole thing.

HOMIE #2

True dat. True dat.

SHORTY:

'Cause you know they ain't gone

never let us play the homeopathic

killer.

HOMIE #1

Word.

SHORTY:

Oh, sure there's that one cat,

Candyman, but they don't even let

that brotha wear a mask. Why not?

Jason, Michael Myers, even the Phantom

of the Grand Ole Opry covers half

his face.

HOMIE #2

True dat. True dat.

SHORTY:

But see, the thing is, they don't

fit a description. On the other

hand, without a mask, they could

easily stick my man Candy in a

line up and frame him for some trumped

up bullshit. You see what I'm saying?

HOMIE #1

Uh, word?

SHORTY:

And tell me this, why he always got

to be on C.P. time?

SHORTY:

You've got to call the brotha'

repetitiously before he even shows up.

Candyman! Candyman! Candyman!

Nigga' you hear me callin you.

Bring your pimp lookin ass on.

Off chasing white girls. That's what

got your hands cut off in the first

place. Which brings me to my point,

son.

The two stare at him in confused silence.

SHORTY (CONT'D)

(as if it were obvious)

Yo, it all started with a white girl.

So you know what that means.

Continued silence.

SHORTY (CONT'D)

Drew's dead. We black. Candy.

Man. It's so obvious, kid.

Blank stares.

SHORTY (CONT'D)

I've got the munchies like a mutha'

fucka'.

Suddenly clarity registers with the homies.

HOMIE #1

Word.

HOMIE #2

True dat. True dat.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY ' DAY

The girls enter.

V.O.

Hey ladies!

The girls turn to see SHORTY, young African American, cute,

in an awkward kind of

way.

CINDY:

Hi Shorty.

BRANDY:

Talk to the hand.

She puts her hand in his face.

SHORTY:

Cindy?

CINDY:

Can't Shorty.

SHORTY:

Oh well, you force me to open it up

to hundreds of other girls who would

die for the opportunity, but just

because I like you guys, I'm gonna

wait till lunch before I go public.

See ya at the fountain.

Shorty heads to class.

BUFFY:

Whatever! What a geek!

CINDY:

I think Shorty is cute. If I wasn't

dating Bobby, I would go out with him.

BRANDY:

Sh*t girl, Bobby lives in a trailer.

Dating Shorty would be a step up.

CINDY:

If how much money a guy has is so

important, why are you dating Ray?

BRANDY:

First of all, look at him. He's

100% man.

P.O.V. GIRLS

Ray and Greg standing at lockers.

Ray takes off his shirt, exposing his muscular upper body.

He slips on a ty-dyed tank top.

RAY:

Yo, man, this shirt make me look gay.

GREG:

Nah.

Ray ties the lower part of the tank top in a knot and rolls

it above his navel.

RAY:

How about now?

Back to girls.

BRANDY:

Besides, the boys got potential,

girl. Ray runs a 4.4 40, has a

3.5 GPA and he's being scouted by

every major college in the country.

If he stays healthy, we're talking

multi million dollar contract and

that's not including endorsements.

Now Greg on the other hand, that's

somebody else's mess.

BUFFY:

I'll admit, the pro's is a long shot

for Greg. He's been injured twice

and he's not that bright.

P.O.V. BUFFY

Greg slamming his head into the lockers, obviously upset

about something.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

And the only way we'll see him in prime

time in on "Cops". But for now, he's the

hottest guy in the school and even if

I don't want him, I'm not going to let

anyone else have him.

The girls meet up with Greg and Ray at the lockers.

BRANDY:

Hey baby.

Brandy kisses Ray.

BUFFY:

What's the matter, honey?

GREG:

I got my report card.

He hands it to Buffy.

REPORT CARD READS: D.U.M.B.A.S.S.

BUFFY:

At least you got one "A".

GREG:

Yeah, I did huh?

CINDY:

Anybody seen Bobby?

RAY:

Nah. That kid is late every day.

I don't get it. He lives so close.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT ' BOBBY'S TRAILER ' DAY

Bobby exits, books in hand. Pull back to reveal the trailer

is parked in the school parking

lot.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOUNTAIN ' DAY

Bobby joins the gang sitting at the fountain.

BOBBY:

Hey guys. Hey Cind.

Bobby kisses Cindy.

BOBBY (CONT'D)

You guys see all the reporters out

there? They say that girl Drew

Decker got killed last night.

RAY:

I think I knew her. She had a brother

named Steve, pretty eyes, long hair,

perfect ass.

BOBBY:

Yeah, that was her.

RAY:

No, I was talking about Steve.

Whatever happened to him?

BOBBY:

I don't know.

CINDY:

Hey, do you guys think it's strange

that she got killed exactly one year

after we, you know, killed that guy?

GREG:

Hey, it was an accident.

CINDY:

Was it?

EXT. PARKING LOT ' NIGHT - (FLASHBACK ' ONE YEAR AGO)

GREG:

Hey dude. Nobody drives my car but

me! Well, except for that big black

guy that car jacked me last month, he

drove it, but other than that, nobody

drives my car but me. Okay, there

was that one time the dope man had

it for a week because I owed him

for a bag of weed, but other than

that'

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