Scary Movie Page #4

CINDY:

You know cars are only to make guys

feel more secure about the size

of their penises.

GREG:

What's that supposed to mean?

Bobby takes the keys from Greg.

BOBBY:

She's kidding, come on.

Greg approaches Buffy.

GREG:

Why did you tell Cindy about it?

BUFFY:

I didn't say anything.

GREG:

Then why did she make that comment?

BUFFY:

Greg, you know I would never tell

anyone our little secret.

She kisses him. Cindy walks by. She holds up her pinky.

Buffy giggles.

They get in the car and drive off.

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD ' NIGHT (GREG'S CAR)

Bobby and Cindy in the front, the other two couples in the

back.

The two couples are making out.

Greg opens a bottle of liquor.

Greg takes a sip, then another. Slowly, he starts to feel

good.

GREG:

Hey, let's put on some music.

Ray pulls a tape out of his pocket.

RAY:

Here, put this on.

Bobby puts in the tape.

The song "It's Raining Men" blares out speakers. Everyone

looks at Ray.

RAY (CONT'D)

Hey, it's a classic.

GREG:

Let's put on the radio.

Greg ejects the tape and finds a station. Loud rock music

fills the car.

GREG:

Now that's more like it. Yeah.

Greg nods to the music.

GREG (CONT'D)

(yelling)

AYOO!!!

Greg stands up, pokes his head through the sunroof, takes

another swig of liquor and

yells as he enjoys the wind against his face.

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD ' NIGHT (GREG'S CAR)

Ray and Brandy in the back are really going at it hot and

heavy.

BOBBY:

(adjusting the rear view mirror)

Look at what they're doing.

CINDY:

Bobby, keep your eyes on the road.

BOBBY:

When are we gonna do stuff like that?

CINDY:

One day.

Bobby unzips his pants.

CINDY:

What are you doing?

BOBBY:

I just want you to touch it.

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD ' NIGHT ' (GREG'S SUNROOF)

Greg yelling. This time in tears as he realizes he is about

to be hit by a low hanging

branch.

Thud. His head goes reeling.

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD ' NIGHT ' (GREG'S CAR)

Cindy gingerly touching Bobby's crotch. He closes his eyes

momentarily.

BOBBY:

Oh yeah.

Suddenly, Greg's liquor bottle comes falling through the

sunroof, crashing against

Cindy's head, sending her face down into Bobby's lap.

BOBBY (CONT'D)

(shocked)

Oh yeah! That's what I'm talking about.

Bobby lays his seat back.

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD ' NIGHT ' (GREG'S SUNROOF)

Greg's head, passing through the tree branches, emerges with

a bee hive wrapped around

his face. He desperately tries to remove it.

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD ' NIGHT ' (GREG'S CAR)

It looks like a wild orgy.

Bobby steering with his bare feet.

Cindy trying to raise her head but is being stepped on by

Greg.

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD ' NIGHT ' (GREG'S SUNROOF)

Greg finally removes the hive. He sees something in the

road.

GREG:

Look out!

EXT. WINDING ROAD ' NIGHT ' (GREG'S CAR)

Bobby hears Greg's scream. He too sees something. Bobby

swerves to avoid it.

BOBBY:

Oh my God!

The car goes spinning out of control before it finally comes

to a stop.

BOBBY (CONT'D)

What was that?

CINDY:

I think we hit something.

EXT. WINDING ROAD ' NIGHT

Everyone gets out of the car.

Buffy finds a boot.

BUFFY:

Oh my God! We hit a boot!

They see a man lying unconscious in the road.

CINDY:

Ahh! It's a body!

RAY:

Is he alive?

BOBBY:

I don't know.

BUFFY:

Let me check'

Buffy kneels next to the body.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

Hey mister, you want a blow job?

No answer.

BUFFY (CONT'D)

He's dead. What are we gonna do?

She quickly backs up and joins the rest of the group.

The man slowly starts to gain consciousness. The kids don't

see him, caught up in their own drama.

CINDY:

We have to call the police.

RAY:

No way, I ain't going to jail.

CINDY:

We have to.

GREG:

Do you know what happens to a young boy

in prison? All those sex starved

convicts just waiting for a fresh

piece of meat.

RAY:

You're right. Maybe we should call

the police.

Behind them we see the man sit up. He calls out to them.

MAN:

That's not necessary. I'm fine.

They can't hear him. They're too busy yelling at each

other.

BOBBY:

Think about it, Ray. If you do that

you ruin the rest of this movie. This

is your chance to crossover, Ray.

RAY:

White girls?!

Bobby nods yes.

RAY (CONT'D)

What do we do first?

BOBBY:

We'll hide the body.

CINDY:

I won't have anything to do with this.

In the background, the man is now standing, brushes himself

off and calls out to the group again.

MAN:

I guess I'll be going now.

Again he's ignored. He shrugs his shoulders and starts to

walk away.

BUFFY:

What about the alcohol?

GREG:

We'll get rid of it.

Greg tosses the bottle over his shoulder. It crashes the

man on the head, knocking him out. He flops back

on to the road, just as the group turns to look at him.

GREG (CONT'D)

Now let's get him in the trunk. Move the car closer.

As the three of them talk among themselves, one of them gets

in the car and backs it up. The Man sits up

again, shaking his head clear.

He gets up just as the car backs up into him. Knocked

unconscious again, he falls flat on the road. Just

then, the kids turn around.

BOBBY:

We'll throw him in the ocean.

They throw him in the trunk and look at each other as they

talk.

BOBBY (CONT'D)

We'll go down to Steveson and dump him in

there. The sharks will take care of

the evidence.

The Man wakes up again in the trunk, but the kids aren't

looking at him.

Not looking at him, Brandy slams the trunk lid down on the

Man's head.

Greg tries slamming it down again and again.

EXT. PIER ' NIGHT

They get him out of the trunk and carry him over to the edge

of the road, which is

overlooking the ocean.

CINDY:

Wait. Shouldn't we check his wallet?

BUFFY:

For what?

BRANDY:

Sh*t, he might have some money. We

already committed murder. Might as

well rob his ass.

BOBBY:

Good idea. I'll take credit cards.

BRANDY:

I want the jewelry.

RAY:

I'll take his underwear.

They finish stripping the man then toss his naked body over

the side.

GREG:

We must never mention this again.

CINDY:

Mention what?

GREG:

The guy we just killed.

CINDY:

Well, you just mentioned it.

GREG:

Starting now.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOUNTAIN ' DAY (PRESENT)

BOBBY:

That's all behind us now, Cindy, we

have to move on.

GREG:

Yeah, it's just a coincidence.

BUFFY:

Greg's right, Cindy. I mean what do

you think we're in, a horror movie?

Cindy relaxes and smiles.

CINDY:

Yeah, if it were, they'd probably cast

some ding-bat like Jennifer Love "Huge-Tits"

to play me.

They share a laugh as the bell rings and everyone heads to

class.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL ' CURBSIDE ' DAY

Skate boarders cruise by, followed by guy with no legs on a

skate board.

Cindy walks toward building, she passes Gail's news van.

Kenny sees Cindy. He knocks at the van. Gail answers from

inside.

GAIL V.O.

I'm putting on my make up.

Kenny opens the van door.

Gail turns around. We see a decrepit old woman.

Rate this script:3.3 / 4 votes