Schlussmacher Page #4

---

Mr. Voigt, it's Kati Dreher,

Thorsten Kuhlmann 's girlfriend.

I don't know if you remember.

Sure I do. What's up?

I just wanted to ask

how Thorsten is, how he took it.

Paul , do you want fresh juice?

Or something else?

He can be fragile...

Fresh juice?

He took it well. He's in great form.

The breakup

seems to have done him good.

That's. . . great.

I miss him a bit.

- That's normal, Miss Dreher.

You're going through

what everyone goes through.

Probably you're considering

calling him, but just let him be.

Think of his negative qualities,

the psychological anomalies,

his appearance, the musty scarf.

The scarf!

I could tell you a story about that.

Here's some advice.

Write a list of pro's and con's.

- Learn the cons by rote, bin the pros.

- Fine.

Can you tell me where he is anyway?

I've got... I have to go.

The lady there

just asked for my room number.

No way!

Amazing , eh?

Who was that?

That was. . . someone who's doubting

the breakup was the right thing.

It happens sometimes.

Really? What do you say then?

I convince them

the breakup was absolutely right.

And if Kati had called?

Yeah , then I probably wouldn't.

Thanks Paul. I didn't think you would.

But really, stop talking about Kati.

You have to meet another woman.

Or several women.

You have to break free.

Embrace life.

821!

Not now, man.

We have a busy schedule. Let's go.

- Do you do it yourself?

- No. Someone else does that.

For seductions

I have the best man money can buy.

No, not him.

Good, I was wondering.

The nuptial contract means she'd get 40%

of everything. I mean everything!

But not...

- if she's unfaithful.

- I'm told

80% of wives have been unfaithful.

But not Gabriela.

I've had so many detectives tailing her.

I got her a cute personal trainer,

I hired her a gardener from Brazil ,

and nothing happened. Nothing!

It didn't work. It's sh*t.

Yeah , that"s sh*t.

The problem is...

Gabriela's changed over the years.

Let herself go, if you get my drift.

I'll take care of it for you.

I'm counting on you.

Paul, thanks for the nice suit.

Now we really are "Men in Black".

You're Will Smith, I'm Tommy D. Jones.

- Cool guy.

- Shut up.

What does the "D" stand for?

I mean it won't be for Detlef.

- There she is. F***!

- Why? That's good.

- No, it's not good . Richy isn't there.

- Who? - The gigolo guy.

Sh*t.

Where are you? We've been waiting

for 40 minutes. Where are you?

You're breaking up. Where are you?

You're in Frankfurt Oder? What for?

We're in Frankfurt am Main!

- I... Frankfurt Main!

- It's 600 km, he won't make it.

Richy, that's sh*t.

It's... never mind. Bye.

Let's drink!

Sh*t.

- I only have a week and I can't screw up.

- What will you do?

Buy them a drink.

Fill them up, lay them, you'll see.

Lay them?

So, good evening, ladies.

You look like you need a drink.

Can I buy you a round?

Yes.

Do you come here often?

Haven't seen you before.

We've never seen you here before.

So, I'm paying,

you choose what you want.

Good.

Vodka.

That's a woman to my taste!

Come on, girls!

Oh sh*t. I feel sick.

- What?

- Of course it didn't work.

She can hold her drink.

She's not here to be chatted up.

She wants to dance.

Look at the woman.

You must dance to win her.

- I know, I was a dance teacher.

- For real?

Yes.

Super.

I know what you're thinking.

No way, I'm not doing it.

You owe me anyway. Okay?

You do my bit, I do yours.

I'll go to the hotel.

- No. It's immoral.

- It's not immoral. It's a test.

She could be faithful

and not cheat on her husband.

You're helping her find the truth.

If she passes, it's fine.

If not, we all have clarity.

It's no test. You don't know

the effect I have on women when I dance.

So show me!

- Go.

- Wish me luck, Paul.

Off you go then.

You dance funny.

- I was a dance teacher.

- Are you here on your own?

Yes.

Alone.

Good.

It's working.

I can still do it.

Now we make love.

Oh yeah.

Here we are.

Come here.

- That feels good.

- Yeah, come on. - Get on there!

You want to play games?

I love playing games!

- Don't you like it? - I love it!

- I'm not really like this.

- Don't you find me attractive?

- Yes, you're amazing .

Look at me. Not from down there.

Stand up.

Yeah , that's good.

I can't do it in front of the camera.

Camera?

Camera! Italian for "room". Camera...

I was against it from the start!

I swear.

I don't want to die.

Oh my God.

Come here.

Give me the camera.

Stop, stay here!

And now for you.

I'm going to kill you.

You pigs.

Sh*t.

Come on.

Sh*t.

Come on.

Fast.

Sh*t.

Got you!

- Hit it!

- I can't!

- Get going.

- Okay, I will!

- She fell off!

- Oh God, she fell off!

Sh*t.

Can't you get something right for once?

I give you a chance

and you screw up again.

I can't do it in front of the camera.

If you'd just shut up, the video would

have worked and the car would be okay!

- Look at that sh*t! The scratches!

- The insurance will cover that.

- And how did it happen?

- Parking.

And who was driving? You! Exactly!

So I can't call the insurance.

- But I can call.

- What? And say who did it?

You drive me insane with your tics.

Makes me puke!

- You're not so great yourself. - Oh yeah?

- Yes. - So tell me!

- You fart in your sleep.

- I never do.

How would you know? You're asleep.

And you're a bad-tempered grumbler.

- I help you and you only lay into me!

- No I don't.

And you're cold and you're obviously

clogged up with issues.

That's why you fart in your sleep.

This is it.

That's not our hotel. Paul?

You wait here.

- Sarah, you have to drive me.

- I don't. - You do, you're my sister.

Yes, but you only come

if you want something . I'm sick of it.

I come if I don't know

what else to do, but...

Please.

The guy's driving me insane, please.

Hi , Vanni!

Please.

Oh man! Okay, bring him up.

- Then I'll decide about driving. Deal?

- That's a deal.

Tomato.

Salami. I love salami.

- Toto, it's just a sandwich.

- But it's delicious.

- You made it yourself.

- But the ingredients are Sarah's.

- Thanks, Toto. - What do you do?

- I'm an ergotherapist.

- Without patients.

- I think it's interesting.

It is.

You look so hot right now.

Are you a couple?

Yes.

Ah ,are you lesbians?

Yeah. Why? Is that a problem?

No.

Pity. Such gorgeous women!

Strange. I thought

lesbians have short hair and small tits.

Were you staring at their breasts

while you ate?

You probably think of sex

when you hear the word "lesbian".

- Not all men just think of sex.

- With women they do unless they're gay.

- Depends on the woman.

- I don't.

Really, Vanni . And anyway,

every love is unique.

It shouldn't be split

into hetero and the rest.

The most important thing

is what people give each other.

Isn't it?

To love then.

Here's to love.

I'm going for a piss.

- Vanni, what star sign are you? Gemini?

- Yes.

Paul, Vanni's a Gemini . Amazing!

- What's wrong?

- I needed a piss.

- Give me a break.

- Will you drive me?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes