School Daze Page #3

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from the bake sale?

Enough.

I'm not going to the party.

- Where's the freaks?

- Here's to the Liberty Bowl, man.

- Couldn't get one.

- Oh, sh*t!

You've been jamming us up

since we started, man. I don't go over...

- I'm coming up.

- Four women.

- What's wrong with five?

- Come on, man.

Hold up. Listen, Half-Pint.

You got to go back out and bring in a freak.

- Two freaks.

- Yeah.

Here's $5. All this is, is a test.

And you're going to pass

with flying colours.

I want you to take that $5 US currency...

and go to the pet shop, get yourself a kitten.

Put it in a cage and mark it "P*ssy."

Give it to Dean Big Brother Almighty

and say, "Pass the p*ssy."

- Pass the p*ssy

- Meow

Pass the p*ssy

That's what you got to do

Pass the p*ssy

It won't work.

Pass the p*ssy, pass the p*ssy

The word is "excuse me."

Nobody told you to stand in the hall, either.

- Excuse me.

- That's better, Miss Thing.

It's not real.

- Say what?

- You heard.

It ain't even real.

You wish you had hair like this.

Girl, you know you weren't even born

with blue eyes.

That's right. Blue contact lenses.

- You're just jealous.

- Right.

Jealous?

Rachel, I've been watching you

look at Julian. You're not slick.

- Lf that was true, he wasn't much to look at.

- Tell her, Rachel.

- Pickaninny.

- Barbie doll.

- High-yellow heifer.

- Tar baby.

- Wannabe white.

- Jigaboo.

- Don't start.

- We're gonna finish it.

Re-Re, open up!

Talking about good and bad hair

Whether you're dark or you're fair

So you can go on and swear

See if I care

Good and bad hair

Don't you wish you had hair like this

Then the boys would give you a kiss

Talk about nothing but bliss

Then you're gonna see what you missed

If a fly should land on your head

Then I'm sure he'd break all his legs

'Cause you got so much grease up there

Dear, is that a weave that you wear?

Well, you got cockleburs

Standing all over your head

Well, you got sandy spurs

Rather have mine instead

You're just a jigaboo

Trying to find something to do

Well, you're a wannabe

Wanna be better than me

Bad hair's only good for one thing

If you get a lick, back it'll spring

Can't you, don't your hair stand on high?

Can't you comb it and don't you try?

Don't you know my hair is so strong

It can break the teeth out the comb?

I don't have to put up at night

What you have to keep out of sight

Well, you got cockleburs

Standing all over your hair

Well, you got sandy spurs

You rather have mine instead

You're just a jigaboo

Trying to find something to do

Well, you're a wannabe

Wanna be better than me

Yeah?

Get off.

- Stop it!

- Honey.

Get out!

Get out of here, Miriam!

- All right.

- I'll get you, Rachel.

Move out of my way.

Oh, my hair!

Go, girl.

You better dance, girl.

Sharon! Knock her down.

- Knock her down.

- You better get out of my face, girl.

- Knock her down.

- You gotta hold her back.

Don't worry.

You better point that somewhere else.

Jigs!

Jigs!

Hey, get off me!

- Get off!

- What are you doing?

Watch it!

- Get out of here!

- What do you think you're doing?

- Get back.

- You better learn how to control your girl.

I'm not playing with you, Rachel.

Heifer.

Jigaboo.

Your hair ain't no longer than

So you'll never fling it all back

You afraid to walk in the rain

Oh, what a shame

Who's to blame?

Don't you ever worry about that

'Cause I don't mind being black

- Don't try it

- Go on with your old mixed-up head

I ain't never gonna be afraid

Well, you got nappy hair

Nappy's all right with me

My hair is straight, you see

Your soul's crooked as can be

Look who's getting new today

Look anywhere you please

Not at that kitchen of yours

Mind now what you say

Talking about good and bad hair

Whether you're dark or you're fair

Go on and swear

See if I care

Good and bad hair

Talking about good and bad hair

Whether you're dark or you're fair

Go on and swear

See if I care

Good and bad hair

Talking about good and bad hair

Whether you're dark or you're fair

Go on and swear

See if I care

Good and bad hair

Go on and swear

See if I care

Good and bad hair

Go on and swear

See if I care

Good and bad hair

Go on and swear

See if I care

Good and bad hair

- Watch it.

- I will.

Wake up!

Move! Move! Move!

Gammites!

Greetings to the elite Big Brothers...

of Gamma Phi Gamma

Fraternity Incorporated...

Alpha Chapter!

Oh, sh*t!

Most honourable Big Brothers,

we only beg for your forgiveness!

Enough!

Now, what we have here...

is a menace to Gamma society.

- That's right.

- Get on with this.

Now, I motion for the death penalty.

That'll work.

The Chair, having recognised Dr Feelgood,

without objection the motion is carried.

- Grill these bastards.

- Grill.

Death will be too good

for these offenders of the law.

- Brothers?

- Yes, sir.

Let's make the streets safe to walk again.

- Here, here.

- For the women and chilluns.

See, we're gonna have to make a decision...

between the gas chamber,

the electric chair...

or death by goddamn lethal injection.

- You're guilty of eight counts of treason.

- Like a big b*tch.

Guilty of eight counts of conspiracy.

I know you conspired.

Having been found guilty as charged...

I hereby sentence you to meet...

- Oh, no, Big Brother Almighty, no!

- No, no.

Big Bertha!

Be still! Lights out!

- What the f*** is this?

- Drop your sweats!

- Move. Let's go.

- Look at them drawers.

Bend over...

and assume the position.

In other words, knock it out of here, yeah!

Play ball!

I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs,

cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

You like me. You like me.

That's right. Yeah. That's right.

Fathers, forgive us for we have sinned.

Make my funk the P. Funk

I wants to get funked up

"There's nothing to fear but fear itself."

Fear this. Fear this.

- Miss Jane Diva's gonna get it.

- Yeah.

Isn't she on the Gamma court?

Not only is she on the court,

she is the queen.

Rachel, what are you doing?

If we don't leave now, we're not gonna get

a seat at the coronation.

That's right, Rachel. Let's go.

You can study later.

- I'm not going.

- Well, I suppose Dap isn't going, either.

Now, you know

that has nothing to do with it.

Spare me, Rachel.

Rachel, you haven't seen anybody else

since freshman year.

Don't you ever feel like seeing other guys,

like having other relationships?

- No.

- Yes, you do, Rachel.

No, I don't.

Come on. Listen, Dap's a good guy.

I like him.

One of the more positive brothers

on this campus, right, Lizzie?

That's right.

But I bet you he's snaking.

He can't help it. He's a man.

It's their nature.

- Are you coming or not, Rachel?

- No, I'm not going.

- Come on, Doris.

- You are tired.

She's tired, man. She put the "T" in tired.

And that's all somebody would have to do...

to get a bus and put a sign on it that says:

"All the fried chicken you want."

And you know black folks

would be on that bus in a hurry.

Or, "All the drugs you want."

Or, "All the alcohol you want."

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