School for Scoundrels Page #8

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We're heading north

out of the city.

Excellent.

We'll see you at the rendezvous.

No can do.

This is where I get off.

What are you talking about?

Lesher and I have

our own little score to settle.

I'll catch you on the flip side.

Hawk.

Come in. Hawk.

So, Lesher, tell me,

you ever been

to Peekskill?

I can't understand

what you're saying.

You got to go slower.

Take a breath.

It's all gonna be okay.

Excuse me.

I think we just missed

the, um, exit for the airport.

Oh, he didn't tell you?

Dr. Sherman has

a surprise for you.

There's someone very special

he wants you to meet.

We'll be there

in ten, Walrus.

Copy that, Road Force.

Got my peepers on the party.

Will alert

if there's any movement.

Going somewhere?

Check that out.

It's got your

whole life

and all the terrible things

you've done to people.

Oh, and, uh...

what's this?

Look at that.

Looks like somebody

didn't die, did they?

In fact,

that looks like you with

Mrs. Dr. P-

aka your wife

for the past

15 years,

aka suck it!

You are busted!

Yeah.

Son of a b*tch, you did it.

Goddamn it.

You actually did it.

I challenge you to become a man,

and here you are

sticking it to me

like a champion.

What are you

talking about?

Well, don't you get it, Roger?

The master's program-

you passed.

I don't believe you.

Oh, really?

How do you explain this?

That's Amanda's

first-class ticket

to Miami.

The other one's yours.

"Roger Waddell. "

Just consider it

a graduation present, Roger.

But...

what about all this stuff?

Wait, Lonnie said...

Lonnie who?

You don't mean

Lonnie Ratcliff?

That idiot.

He spent three years

in the 'tard hatch.

Yeah, but his,

his story was...

was just like mine.

Of course it is.

I did the same

damn thing to him.

The difference is, you rose to

the occasion and he fell apart.

I never said

my class was easy.

So... Lonnie...

never showed up

to the airport.

He thinks you flew off

with his girlfriend.

Exactly.

Truth is, I sat here

for two hours like an a**hole

and ate a Cinnabon

and went home.

Oh, no! Amanda!

She's on the way

to your house.

To meet your wife.

Listen, my wife

knows the drill.

She can make her pancakes

while you fly solo to Miami,

or you can get her here.

There's still time.

Oh, and by the way, Roger,

the girl loves you.

She just doesn't know it yet.

Diego, it's Roger.

Abort mission.

I repeat, abort mission.

What are you

talking about?

Bring Amanda straight to the

airport- you got 25 minutes.

Hey, Rog, I don't think

I can make that.

Just drive!

You might want

to hold on.

Look, Dr. P, I...

Barry.

Oh, all right. Barry.

I don't know what to say.

Well, it doesn't happen

very often, but...

every once in a while,

I actually teach someone.

Thank you.

Oh, and hey, Roger.

Remember that night in the bar,

when you made that joke

about maybe someday

you'll teach the class?

Look me up when you get back.

Sorry if the ride

was a little bumpy.

Have a nice flight.

Let me go, please.

Take care.

God.

Let me have a Johnnie Walker.

Make it neat.

It's a good day, huh?

Going to Miami.

d d

d d

Hi.

There she is.

Sorry I'm late.

I had the craziest driver

on the way here.

Oh, don't worry, sweetheart.

We got time.

You know which gate?

d d

Diego,

where is she?

What are you talking about?

I dropped her off

ten minutes ago.

Which terminal?

The one on our itinerary-

terminal four.

Hey, Rog?

Rog, you still there?

Slow down, sir.

Come on through.

Can you remove

your shoes, please?

You're okay.

d d

And how does a glass

of champagne sound?

Sounds great.

And for you?

I'm fine, thanks.

You sure?

Yeah, maybe later.

Amanda!

Amanda!

ROGER:

Wait!

Do you hear that?

No, I didn't

hear anything.

Okay.

Hold the door!

Wait!

Uh, sir...

Sir, um...

Excuse me,

excuse me.

Amanda...

Oh, my God.

You need to get

off this plane.

Listen, pal, I don't know

where your pills are,

but this ends now, okay?

Call security.

Uh, sir, could I

please see your ticket?

I don't have a ticket!

Okay?

Yeah, we need security

at gate 31. Now.

Listen to me-

this is a bad man.

Why are you

doing this, Roger?

Because you need

to hear the truth.

I'm not crazy.

I never broke into

your apartment.

And I never

spray-painted your dog.

I would never do that.

Sir, I'm gonna have to

ask you to leave...

Don't touch me.

You know, I know people

you can talk to.

We can get you help, okay?

You know...

You don't...

understand.

Calm down.

You're not...

listening.

Just breathe.

Breathe deeply.

Oh, God.

Jesus Christ.

It's okay.

It's just a panic attack.

He gets these a lot.

Of course he does.

Um, he's a doctor.

You gonna check on him?

I- I'm gonna get some ice.

Okay, everybody just,

uh, remain calm, and, uh,

we'll get this situation

under control.

Okay, everybody stand back.

Now what?

Where are you going

with this, Roger?

It's your move... Doctor.

Quick, he's not breathing.

Bring me the paddles.

Are you sure?

Yes, I need to shock him.

Come on, get them.

Okay.

Sir, give me a sock.

Quick. I don't want him

choking on his tongue.

Come on, stay with me.

Stay with me, stay with me!

Okay, this is

your last chance, Roger.

I'm not bluffing.

Okay.

Hand me the paddles,

come on.

Quick.

Are you sure?

Shouldn't we try

something else first?

Yes, I'm sure.

Here we go-

1,800 volts

of pure electricity.

Clear!

Sir, you don't have

the current engaged.

Are you sure you know

what you're doing?

Yes, I think I know

what I'm doing.

Obviously,

somebody didn't turn...

Aren't you supposed

to turn this thing on?

Turn it on.

Come on.

Wait.

He's breathing.

You back off.

I'm doing this, okay?

What do you mean, "back off"?

He's breathing.

I said stay back.

Just back off!

Please.

Why are you doing this?

Oh, my God.

You aren't even

a doctor, are you?

Who's a lion

now, b*tch?

What?

Everything you said

is true, isn't it?

How could you?

Oh, please.

Amanda, look, I did it

for his own good.

You broke into my apartment,

you spray-painted my dog?

Well...

Oh, my God.

Is your wife even dead?

Not technically, but

I can explain that.

You make me sick!

Ow!

Get it off!

Get it off you!

Roger! Oh, my God.

Roger, can you hear me?

You okay?

No. I can't feel my chest.

Is-Is something burning?

I think it's you.

I'm so sorry for getting

you into any of this.

That's okay.

Everything's gonna be

all right.

Amanda...

Yeah?

I totally

love you.

I know.

You're gonna be okay.

I like it here.

It's quiet.

Helps me think.

So how have

you been?

Not too good.

My wife found out

about everything.

Everything?

It's been a bad month.

It didn't have

to go this far.

I always push things.

It's who I am.

So, uh, how is, uh...

She's good.

So why'd you call me?

I have something for you.

It's the first diploma

I've ever given out.

Congratulations.

Wow.

Thanks.

You know,

I was thinking, um...

I don't know, if I...

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