School of Rock Page #2

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OK, who's got food in here?

You're not gonna get in trouble.|I'm hungry.

You. What do you got?

That's what I'm talking about.

OK. Teach. Teach. Teach.

All right, look, here's the deal.

I've got a hangover.|Who knows what that means?

- Doesn't that mean you're drunk?|- No. It means I was drunk yesterday.

- It means you're an alcoholic.|- Wrong.

You wouldn't come to work|hung-over unless you were.

Dude, you got a disease.

- What's your name?|- Freddy Jones.

Freddy Jones, shut up.

Shut up.

The point is,|you all can just chill today.

We'll start on|this crapola tomorrow.

- Yes, Tinkerbell?|- Summer.

As class factotum, first I'd like to|just say, welcome to Horace Green.

- Thank you.|- Any questions about our schedule?

Because usually now|Miss Dunham teaches vocabulary,

then gives us a pop quiz, then|splits us up into reading groups.

- Track B is...|- OK, hey, hey, hey.

Miss "Dumbum"|ain't your teacher today, I am.

And I got a headache|and the runs.

So I say, time for recess.

But Mr. S, that poster charts|everyone's performance.

We get stars when we master|the material covered.

How do we get gold stars|if we just have recess?

- What are these black dots here?|- Demerits.

What kind of a sick school is this?

As long as I'm here, there will be|no grades or gold stars or demerits.

We're gonna have recess|all the time.

But Miss Dunham only gives us|recess for 15 minutes...

You're not hearing me, girl.|I'm in charge now, OK?

And I say recess.

Go. Play and have fun, now.

Nice.

Now, you don't want me to have|to call your parents, do you?

It's all right, Emily, don't cry.|Just try to be a bit more conscientious.

Would you like a hug?

I'll be good, I swear!

All right, well, that's fine, Emily.|You're excused.

Yes, we did it.|We did it, come on.

Give me some. Give me some.|Give me some. Give me some of that.

I will see you cats|on the flip-flop. Later!

I heard she slipped|in the bathroom.

Yes, but we've got|a wonderful new substitute

who comes very|highly recommended.

- Mr. Schneebly? Mr. Schneebly?|- Yeah!

Hold on, buddy!

Oh, my God.|You've gotta be kidding me.

Oh, man, this guy sucks, man.

- Here, call him.|- Call him? Yeah, right.

OK. Yes, you can be in my band.

But, Ned, no power plays, man.

I've got vision up the butt,|so just go with it.

No, thanks.

You're not a teacher, Ned.

You're the cross-dressing,|blood-sucking incubus

from Maggot Death.|That's the real you.

Dewey, I'm not a satanic|sex god anymore.

I'm a working stiff.|And that's cool.

- She's got you brainwashed.|- I'm working.

That's terrific.|But who are you, babe?

This is my apartment, babe.

Not if you don't pay your rent,|it's not. Get a job.

I got a job. I'll have rent by the end|of the week. Go tell the mayor.

- You got a job. Doing what?|- I do what Ned does, temping.

I'm not a temp. I'm a sub.|And soon I'll be a certified teacher.

Come on, man!|One show, $20,000 prize,

we split it 60/40. Grab your bass|and come back to the garage.

I mean, don't you miss rocking out?

If you think anyone is gonna|be in a band with you,

you're more delusional|than I thought.

Dewey, you know, maybe it's time|to give up those dreams.

I did, and things are going|really great for me.

Are you gonna teach us anything|or are we just gonna sit here?

Just do whatever you want.

- I want to learn from my teacher.|- Besides that.

Freddy, what do you|like to do?

I don't know, burn stuff?

Just go out and have recess.

My parents don't spend $15,000|a year for recess.

- You want to learn something?|- Yes, I do.

You want me to teach|you something?

All right, here's a useful lesson|for you.

Give up. Just quit.

Because in this life, you can't win.

Yeah, you can try, but in the end,|you're just gonna lose, bigtime,

because the world is run|by The Man.

- Who?|- The Man.

Oh, you don't know The Man?

Well, he's everywhere.

In the White House, down the hall.|Miss Mullins, she's The Man.

And The Man ruined the ozone,|and he's burning down the Amazon,

and he kidnapped Shamu|and put her in a chlorine tank.

There used to be a way to stick it|to The Man. It was called rock 'n' roll.

But guess what. Oh, no.

The Man ruined that too|with a little thing called MTV!

So don't waste your time

trying to make anything cool|or pure or awesome.

The Man's just gonna call you a fat,|washed-up loser and crush your soul.

So do yourselves a favor|and just give up!

Mr. Schneebly, it's after 10.

On Tuesdays, the children|have music class now.

Right. OK. Good work, people.

We will continue with our lecture|on The Man when we return.

Have a good music class.

Mr. S, what's going on?

I heard you in music class.

You guys can really play.

Why didn't anyone tell me?|You.

- What's your name?|- Zack.

- You play the guitar?|- Yeah.

OK, come here.

- Ever play electric guitar?|- My dad won't let me.

- He thinks it's a waste of time.|- A waste of...?

Try this one.

OK, here's a guitar pick.

You pluck along with me, OK?|If you can.

Yes.

Yes!

OK, you stay right there.|Don't move.

Piano man, front and center.

- What's your name?|- Lawrence.

Lawrence, you ever|played keyboards? Any techno?

- No, I only play piano.|- OK. All right, fair enough.

Try this out for me, OK?|Just give this a try on my count.

One, two, three, four.

Yes.

Come on, come on|Come on, come on

Now touch me, babe

Can't you see|That I am not afraid

Lawrence is good at piano

He shall be rocking|In my show

Stop. That's perfect. You're perfect.|Stay right there, OK?

You. Could you come up here,|please?

- What was your name?|- Katie.

What was that big thing|you were playing today?

Cello.

This is a bass guitar.|It's exactly the same,

but instead of playing like this, you tip it|on the side, "chello", you've got a bass.

Try it on.

OK, now play this note|right here. That's a G.

OK, but let your fingers|do the rocking.

Keep that G coming all day long.

G, G, G, G, G, G

Good. Stop. Are there any drummers|in the house?

- I play percussion.|- You couldn't play anything else.

- Shut up!|- Come here, dude.

Just see if you can do what I do.|Just give it a try.

OK? Give that a try.

OK!

That's really good.|Just stay right here.

All right, OK.|Lawrence, give me a G note.

With the fifth above it.

And the middle one.|No middle one, I changed my mind.

Now go an octave below.

Now give me some rhythm.

And keep that same rhythm. Go.

Katie, remember that note, the G?

Play it, but also keep it rocking. Good.

OK, give me like a...|Like a:

That's bad. That's like|George of the Jungle.

Play it up here on the cymbal,|but really light.

Oh, that's it!|OK, keep going with that.

You remember this thing|I taught you a minute ago?

Yes! Yes!

All right, let's go!

Stop. You guys, stop messing around.|We've got a lot of work to do.

OK, people, pay attention, because|I do not want to have to fail you.

I thought you didn't|believe in grades.

Of course I believe in grades.|I was testing you. You passed.

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