Scooby-Doo! Stage Fright Page #5

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the Opera House into a disco.

I had loved the opera so much.

I can hear everything from down here.

But that disco music made me crazy.

And those ridiculous outfits

the people wore.

You know, the little neck scarf thingies

and the mini-skirts and...

Oh! But on you guys they work.

Anyway, that was when

I was young and impetuous.

I haven't bothered anyone

for almost 40 years now.

Could I, um, see that mirror again?

Look at me. I'm an Adonis.

Guys, I'm pretty sure

he's telling the truth.

But if he isn't behind everything

that's going on, then who...?

[COLLETTE SCREAMING]

[ALL GASP]

[ALL GASP]

Huh?

Hello!

Uh, kind of stuck up here.

Oh!

So could someone get a ladder,

or something?

What happened?

The harness is part

of my disappearing trick.

I was working on it when the Phantom

shoved me off that catwalk.

Hey, what's that up there?

Oh, no, it's the Phantom.

[PHANTOM LAUGHS]

I'm going after him. Watch the exits.

- We'll put out the fire.

- Yeah.

[GASPS]

[SHAGGY GRUNTING]

Come on, work.

Thanks, Scoo... Whoa!

[SHAGGY SCREAMS]

Like, double thanks.

[FRED & PHANTOM GRUNT]

DAPHNE:
Aah! VELMA: Ow.

You're squeezing my arm.

[FRED GRUNTING]

[PHANTOM LAUGHING]

[PHANTOM GRUNTING]

- FRED:
Aah!

- Look out!

Ow. Quit it.

[GRUNTING]

[STEVE YELLS]

[PHANTOM & STEVE SCREAMING]

[PHANTOM GROANS]

[VELMA, SHAGGY & SCOOBY GASP]

VELMA:
Mel Richmond?

I think I'm dying.

Um, actually I'm pretty sure you're okay.

But look, I'm all bloody.

There's some red paint on the...

Do you understand how mirrors work at all?

Give me a break, I grew up in a sewer.

So you were gonna burn the place down

for the insurance money?

Yes. And I would have

gotten away with it too...

...if it hadn't been for you

meddling kids and your nosy dog.

Dog? Where?

- Zoinks!

- Uh-oh!

[SHAGGY & SCOOBY GRUNT]

GUARD:
Get back here.

[MEL GRUNTS]

Relax, Richmond.

- Is this the guy?

- That's him, officer. Mel Richmond.

Wait. This still doesn't make sense.

If you wanted the insurance money,

why didn't you just burn the place down?

- Why all the other stuff?

- I didn't.

But whoever did gave me the idea

to put on this costume.

Stupidest idea I ever had.

[PHANTOM LAUGHING]

[ALL GASP]

PHANTOM:
Christine must win!

- What the heck?

PHANTOM:
Otherwise, I will rain death

and destruction down upon this place!

So swears the Phantom!

Now will you take this seriously?

I want as many officers as you can spare

here for the show tonight.

I was thinking the same. We're on it.

So you'll do it?

You'll put all your men on this?

And can you keep

that dog out of here too?

PAULDINI:

Hello! I still need a ladder!

Hello! The Great Pauldini is not pleased!

[SHAGGY & SCOOBY YELLING]

Stop that dog.

[WHISTLING NONCHALANTLY]

Well, well, guess they got away

because they're not here.

Anywhere and aha!

[GASPS]

Darn it.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

- Brick!

- Aah!

I wasn't doing anything.

I was just in there.

Not doing anything.

I was doing something

but it was nothing.

Like, we have a totally great act for you.

Oh. Oh! Uh...

Well, fantastic. By all means, proceed.

Say, Scooby-doo,

what bone will a dog never eat?

I don't know, Shaggy.

What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

- Heh, yeah, that's fan... Security.

- Aah!

Scoob, what vegetable do you get

when you cross a dog with a rose?

- I don't know, Shaggy.

- A collie-flower.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Dog!

- Mr. Pimiento?

- Blake and Jones.

- Well, you must be happy.

- Why?

Your odds of winning are way up.

Because there are only four acts left.

Three. The Great Pauldini just quit.

Heh, whatever. Anyway, the publicity the

Phantom has generated has been fantastic.

We're expecting our highest ratings ever.

Come on,

let me show you the projections.

The sound room, huh?

Still on.

Hmm?

So this would be heard on the stage.

Interesting.

Do you keep the footage

all the cameras in here shoot?

Well, of course. There's a whole

digital database on the server.

- Could I look through it?

- Sure.

But there's 2000 hours of footage in there.

Oh, man. Now there's no way I'm gonna

have time to go see the soap diamond.

[CHATTERING]

[AUDIENCE CHEERING

AND APPLAUDING]

Talent Star was starting to get old...

...but this Phantom thing

has really spiced it up.

If the Phantom shows up

we might really see someone get hurt.

Oh, I hope. I hope, heh.

SHAGGY:
There's a lot of police

at the Opera House, Scooby.

So if we're gonna get in,

this disguise has gotta be a good one.

And voila.

Perfect. Like, I think this is gonna work,

Scooby-doo.

- Yeah.

- Now repeat after me.

- These kids today.

- These kids today.

- Darn newfangled contraptions.

- Darn newfangled contraptions.

Excuse me, sonny.

Does this computer have an Internet in it?

Excuse me, sonny.

Does this computer have an Internet in it?

By George, I think he's got it.

[MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

BRICK:
Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the Talent Star finals.

I'm your host, the man, Brick Pimiento.

Now, I'm sure you've all heard

that we've had some trouble.

[AUDIENCE GASP]

Mm-hm, terrible business. Terrible.

Because of this so-called Phantom,

we're down to just three acts.

Emma... Blake and Jones...

...and Chrissy.

Fantastic, ha, ha.

By the end of the show tonight,

one will be crowned this year's Talent Star.

The others receive a year's supply

of Fudge-a-Roni.

Fudge-a-Roni, the great taste of fudge

with the convenience of roni.

BOTH:
Ooh!

As you know, on Talent Star,

you decide the winner.

You can vote by text or online.

Your votes will be tallied in real time

and displayed on this scoreboard.

Heh, and now, going out live

all over the world, I give you Chrissy!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING

AND APPLAUDING]

[MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[SINGING]

Stay away from my man, home-wrecker

Nobody comes between me and my man

Stay away

- FRED:
Got you.

- Aah.

[PHANTOM GRUNTING]

You were right, Emma,

you do make better bait than us.

[BOTH SCREAM]

[PHANTOM GROANS]

DAPHNE:
Lance Damon?

So it was you all along?

- When it wasn't Mel.

- Ugh.

I would have gotten away with it

if it hadn't been for you meddling kids...

...and your nosy old guy?

Thanks, we'll take it from here.

Blake and Jones.

You're on in 30 seconds.

Brick. Blake and Jones have been cued.

They'll be on in 30.

[GASPS]

These darn newfangled kids.

Ugh, your grandfather smells like a dog.

[SNIFFS]

Yeah? Well, you smell like lemons.

It's the hand sanitizer.

- Lemons.

- Lemons.

Like the Phantom.

[AUDIENCE CHEERING

AND APPLAUDING]

Ugh, one side, doofus. I killed out there.

Heh, yeah, fantastic.

Uh, by the way,

they just arrested your dad, ciao.

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