Scopone scientifico, Lo (The Scientific Cardplayer) Page #4

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Yes, good isn't it?

Very well done.

Now I'll read some passages to you...

You listen too, children.

Let's remember that studying...

is the base of it all.

The so called scopone scientifico...

Turn the TV down a bit.

- No, papa what are you doing?

- Quiet, let's listen to the Professor.

Playing cards, as everyone knows, are 40

in number, but combinations, once shuffled,

are infinite. It means that

out of 150,000 billion games,

you'll never be served

the same hand of cards.

Hey, hard to believe...

Things that make your head spin!

So each game has to be played

like a unique case,

on the basis of an ever

changing situation.

- Quiet will you?!

- What is it?

Is the phone ringing?

No, it's a bicycle.

Peppino, are you following this?

No! Professor, you read books to me...

You fill my head up with big words,

but if the oldie doesn't call any more,

what's the point of your teachings.

Also tonight we are still waiting...

- Damned...

She! You shut up!

I know...

The rich, the powerful...

cannot comprehend the hardships,

the anxiety of the poor...

Homer himself, who you study

at your shitty school,

said that, whilst men struggle,

fight, live their tragedies,

the Gods behave like beings

frivolous, cruel, whimsical.

- We are fond of the oldie,

we even love her.

- No!

This is an unforgivable weakness.

How can you win the war,

if during the battle

you get fond of the enemy!

Indeed we are losing!

Then you must stop

being fond of the oldie!

And start hating her... hating her!

The shortest route to take

everything away from her

would be to physically...

eliminate her,

but because now for many years

we have accepted the game,

we must fight her scientifically

and with no pity!

You are right, Professor,

that dirty old bag!

We have been suffering

for too many years,

but if she calls me...

I'll put her down and break her spine!

Quiet will you?! It's her!

It's ringing!

- Good evening...

- Go, go she's waiting for you.

- What do we do?

- Come, I'll show you!

- Don't exaggerate!

- Yeah, yeah.

- Where is she?

- Please.

Over here.

Oh...

My dear friends...

I am so happy to see you.

- Good evening, madam.

- 'Evening.

How come you aren't giving me

the usual kiss tonight?

Give her a little kiss, go.

Is something wrong?

Has someone been trying to

poison our friendship?

Well, spiteful gossip abounds,

somebody says one thing, somebody another.

- One never knows who to follow!

- Right.

Nobody forces you to come here to me.

No, we come because we are

so fond of you, madam.

- Show her the picture.

- What? Yes!

Look at what I brought you, the picture

of when we got married...

- It is beautiful...

- Nice, eh?

- Peppino... push, please.

- Yes!

Ready!

I'm going to show you the photos

of all the people we've been playing,

here I will place your photo.

Anto', she's going to put

us in her album.

Are these bedouins?

- Yes.

When George and I go to Damascus,

we always play with them.

- These guys are poorer than us.

- Can they play cards?

No, they are not that good

and are not very lucky either.

Pedrito and lmmacolata,

they are Chileans.

These are our Indian friends,

from Calcutta,

and these... these are...

two diabolical Philippino players.

Have they managed to win some games?

they took from me!

How much is it?

That's 18 million, Anto'.

- 18 million?

And these are two Brazilians,

very good.

They look like little monkeys...

Hello, George.

- Here is your million, Peppino.

- Thanks, and they say she is bad,

she has given us another million.

- Thanks, too generous.

- Go, Anto'...

- 6. - 8.

Good Antonia, come on!

Do we want to start

with 100,000 a game?

we've got one million.

Let's do 200,000!

Giova'... a little drop for me,

no ice.

Don't get distracted,

the settebello is on the table.

No... I know what I am doing.

With 7 of spades I grab the

settebello, one point is assured.

- Peppino...

- Sorry, madam.

Madam, excuse me...

There is a 7 on the table.

George, don't give me advice.

If she let the 7 onto the table,

she understood that I haven't got it!

- Any news? - We are all waiting,

Cleopatra just went to call.

Here she is!

- What you say?

- Then?

- They lost half a million.

- It's not that bad.

Cleopatra.

Come over here.

- Go to hell!

- Hi Cleopa'.

- Hi Paride.

Thanks for the postcard

you sent me from jail.

I received an amnesty,

I got out early.

Is it true that in her safe the old lady

has almost 100 million?

Even more!

Things would go better,

if I had a better partner.

Why are you saying that, my lady?

Of course... It's always my fault,

isn't it?

Take this, look what I do...

- God, he leaves the king on the table.

Scopa.

I felt she had a king.

- First you feel it, then you make a mistake...

- It's midnight, sorry.

I ought to listen to the news,

there is something interesting.

How is it going?

Madam and Antonia are playing great,

as real players, but men are weak.

Especially Peppino,

he's not up to the task.

I've been saying that

to Antonia for years,

Leave that turd alone

and pair up with Richetto,

then you'd be a millionaire by now.

The President of the Republic,

has welcomed at Quirinale,

the European foreign ministers...

What are you doing?

One of the Community tasks

will be to strengthen

the existing ties between our countries...

Today, a speaker for

the German government,

has announced that tomorrow

the German Reserve Bank,

will stop buying US dollars.

With this measure in a few words

it means

that the government no longer

accepts sustaining the dollar's path.

With this measure, Bonn

intends to put a stop to the

speculator's actions around the world.

Where are these speculators?

If I could lay my hands on one of them,

I would shoot him in the head.

Don't say that out loud.

Madam, with this news,

has earned 2 million dollars.

- Turn it off, George.

- Yes, madam.

She earned 1, 2 billion!

- My compliments, madam.

- Well, dear friends...

Shall we resume our game.

- How can she be so lucky?

It's not at all a matter of luck,

my dear,

high finance is like playing cards,

she who knows the

opponent's cards wins.

But if I can't see them, how do

I know about my opponent's cards...

I did not understand, Peppino.

No, it is something Antonia understands.

I throw the horseman!

Antonia, you are terrible,

how did you know I didn't have

a horseman?

Memory! Memory is a matter of

youth. Sorry!

It slipped, I didn't remember

she is old. - Ignorant!

Peppino is like this.

Damn it, she talks of youth and

leaves me the horseman on the table.

Why? Who has it?

He has it!

Now it is all scopas.

- No.

- Scopa.

Scopa.

Scopa.

Who cares, just 4 scopas.

- We won.

- One moment, don't rush,

it could be that we won instead,

let me count.

Why do you count, pay.

Yes?

Here it is madam, tonight too

she has cleaned us out,

we have no more money,

we're going.

What a pity, so early tonight.

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