Scorned Page #2

- All right.

- You're gonna love this, baby.

You guys like it

- when girls are angry...

- Ow.

and pissed off when they're

giving you head, huh?

- Really? Come on now.

- Yeah.

That's how you like it.

- You pervs like it like this.

- All right, that's...

Ah, God!

God! What the f***?!

Ah, my eyes.

God damn...

get me some water.

No. No water.

What the f*** happened

to my f***ing head?

You scorned me, Kevin.

Oh, baby, I'm... I'm sorry.

- You took my heart...

- I'm really sorry.

and you...

you broke my heart.

I'm sorry, baby.

And you know how much

that was going to hurt me.

Um...

I knew.

I'm stupid.

I'm really sorry.

I was just...

You know what?

You know what?

I love you.

I love you.

Do you know what I was going

to tell you this weekend?

What?

This weekend,

I was going to tell you

that we're going to have a baby.

I took a pregnancy test last week.

I am growing an innocent little

baby right here in my tummy.

And you know I could

never abort a baby.

I could never harm an innocent life.

- I'm going to be sick.

- You know that, right?

- That's why I...

- All right.

I stopped taking my lithium...

for you.

- For you and the baby.

- I didn't know you were pregnant.

That's right, 'cause you only cheat

on girls who aren't pregnant.

That's right.

You are such an ethical man.

I knew you had character, honey.

I knew you had character.

- Um...

- Go ahead, apologize.

Tell me you're sorry.

Tell me what a big f***ing

mistake you made.

I'm sorry.

That was a big mistake.

Yes, it was.

But you know what?

- I can fix it.

- Yeah.

I sent Jennifer a text

message from your phone.

You told her we broke up

and I had a friend

come and pick me up

and you have the house for

the rest of the weekend.

And she was so excited about that.

Oh. Hold on.

Hold on.

You just got a message.

It's from Jennifer.

I'll read it to you word for word.

"I can leave tonight after work. "

Then she wrote an X and an O

and an X and an O, etcetera.

Those are hugs and kisses.

I think she really likes you, honey.

I really do.

Oh. Another message from Jennifer.

- "I can't wait to see you, Kevin. "

- Come on.

"PS, I'm going 2 B wearing

something extra naughty. "

Whoo! My goodness.

You two are frisky.

You promised me a weekend.

We're just going to

have a friend join us.

Remember that time when you asked me

if I would be willing to do a threesome?

That's the thing about

threesomes, of course.

You got to do it all together.

You can't do it separately.

- F***!

- Ooh.

I got to learn how to tie

ropes a little better.

- You f***ing...

- Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. You know what?

You know what?

Come here. Come here.

You're going to take this

whole damn bottle right now.

Right now.

Okay. Okay.

F***!

Oh, my f***ing head.

- Oh, my f***ing head.

- Yeah.

I'm about to bash your head in

again if you don't calm down.

Okay. Oh.

Okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

I really think I should get

you a cigar or something.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

Honey, this is going to be so romantic.

Ooh.

Now, honey,

you shouldn't be drinking.

Just...

it's not good for you.

You shouldn't be drinking, smoking.

There's a baby in you now.

Baby, my mama drank and smoked

all through my pregnancy,

and I turned out all right.

Want some more Vicodin?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Here's one right here for later

and one right here for now.

Hey, no! Ow.

There we go.

That's better.

Please, you got to stop.

You need to stop asking me that.

Look at how supportive I'm being.

I set up the candles.

I got the flower petals here.

I swear to God, you men never

appreciate anything women do for you.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

I certainly hope

I end on "He loves me"!

Me too.

"Follow the rose petals. "

Hmm.

"Follow the rose petals," Bootsie.

Go to sleep here, little Bootsie.

Mama's got a hot date.

Don't mind if I do.

"Take your clothes off. "

"Come in on your hands n knees"?

Sh*t.

Baby?

Your naughty little puppy is here.

Hello, sexy.

Mmm.

Take the gag off.

Take the gag off.

No.

Take the gag off of me.

Kevin, you're such a freak.

Don't use the handcuffs.

You don't need to

use the handcuffs.

Bad dog.

You're a cheater, Jennifer,

just like Kevin.

Sadie, this is crazy.

Yeah, it is.

We were friends.

You were going to be my fricking

maid of honor, for Christ's sake.

I know.

I know, but we can talk

about this, right?

No.

I'm really sorry, Sadie.

I know how this must look.

Sadie, there's something

important you need to know.

I'm sure there is,

but I don't want to hear

anything from you right now.

Kevin likes his women clean.

Don't you, Kevin?

Oh, I prescribed him some medicine.

He probably passed out again.

Sadie, what are you doing?

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Come here.

You know what they used to do

to cheaters in the medieval days?

For one, they used

to cut off their hair.

- No. No.

- You hold still,

or I'll pop your f***ing eye out.

- Please don't.

- I have to.

Please stop.

Sadie.

I want to explain everything to you.

It should have been you

in that hospital, not me.

Please.

Jen, you look so beautiful.

Kevin, she's all ready for you.

Isn't she pretty, Kevin?

You got to let us go.

This is...

this is crazy.

As crazy as you two

loving behind my back?

I'm trying to make you feel better.

No more guilt, no hiding.

I'm going to watch.

That way, neither of you are doing

anything behind my back anymore.

It's all out in the open,

no lies, no deceit.

Don't you two feel cleaner now?

Sadie, we don't want to do this.

You don't have a say in this, Jen.

Did I have a say when you started

loving my boyfriend behind my back?

You are a...

skanky whore.

Look, look, are you okay?

I'm...

Jennifer...

you know I love Bootsie.

Oh, my God.

You two remember

that woman who tried

to dry off her poodle

in the microwave?

She should have read the instructions,

but women never do.

For Christ's sake, Sadie,

this is a little dog.

You can't do this.

I think 10 minutes should suffice.

Just cut the bullshit.

You two...

you two started the bullshit.

Now, what I want you to do

is oral her

right now,

or I will start this microwave,

and her little doggy will

cook from the inside out.

Three...

two, one.

Okay, okay. We'll do it.

Just don't hurt the puppy.

Eat her p*ssy.

Do it now.

It's okay, Kevin.

Just do it.

She taste as good as I do?

You better answer no.

Be nice to have some

music right about now.

Step a little

bit closer, baby

Now, do you like

what you see?

Better not be telling

her you love her.

You only love me, remember?

Look a little

bit wiser, baby

I see nervousness

in your eyes

if you want to

approach me, baby

You need to learn

to be smooth and sly

Tell me what you

really want from me

I've heard that

pickup line before

If you think you've won

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes