Screwed Page #6

What? That'S it?

After seven years,

you're just going to f*** off?

You got anything to say to me?

Kiss Toby for me.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

(INMATES GRUNTING)

It's funny how this place

changes you, innit?

You know if you really think about it,

you realise what a small world it is

and that me and you probably have

more in common than you think!

Both have a problem

sticking to the rules.

Both have got a bit of history,

you know!

I'll tell ya what we've got in common.

Nothing.

It's not the best paying job

in the world, though, is it?

No one appreciates you.

Governors as crooked as half the cons.

Can't blame a man

trying to look after himself,

especially if he's got a family.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, bruv,

I told you, I know you.

What? What, did you think

you were special?

You think you were

the first ex-squaddie in here,

with your flashbacks

and your nightmares?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

You think the prison service

is going to help them,

and they are going to make it worse,

bruv, with their pressure,

and their politics and their stress

but you see me, bruv,

I can help you.

I can make you a fuckload of money

and assimilate you into our

sort of little family if you will.

Let's get one thing straight.

You're the convict, I carry the keys.

(LAUGHS) Wow.

Well, that's not very nice, is it?

You're real meanie sometimes.

No wonder your missus left you

and took the kid.

Is that how you speak to her, Sam?

You call me Mr Norwood!

Let me explain something to you,

you might not know about me, Mr Norwood,

I don't offer twice,

and I don't like being turned down,

that's something I learnt

when I was in school,

when Tammy Fletcher's older brother

came and said, "No" to me for her.

I'm going to tell you the same thing

that I told him, yeah?

You better look left and right

every time you leave this f***ing gate,

'cause you have no idea

how far my influence stretches.

You understand me, bruv?

And you make sure you sleep

with one eye open,

'cause you were right about one thing.

I don't play by the rules.

Some International Ladies Day,

this Scouse bird,

she drags me into this limo,

get me hand on her arse

and she's got no knickers on,

so I ain't f***ing about here,

I stick my hand straight

between her legs, she says,

"Hey, you, tits first."

(BOTH LAuGHING)

If you are going to do that,

do it in your cell!

Get your hand out of your pockets.

Oi! Get your hand out!

Wait, where'd they go?

Stop what you're doing.

You got anything you shouldn't have?

I said have you got

anything you shouldn't have?

-Hold up, Persy, are you sure?

-No! I've got this bang to rights.

Everything all right here?

Curtis, what is the problem?

You're not going to show me!

Curtis, talk to me.

Curtis, what are you doing?

Curtis, leave it to works!

Curtis, what are you doing?

(CU RTIS GRU NTS)

Steadman Don't do

anything stupid, Steadman!

I believe it's over!

All right, cuff him!

Right, you two get his bag and tagged.

Take him down to security, yeah?

I can't get my head around the fact

that Steadman went so easily,

took it lying down.

That's totally out of character!

-There has to be something more to this.

-it's just a massive find.

Yeah!

F***ing dark horse!

-(CHARLIE LAUGHING)

-You never said you had an informant.

He approached me,

said I was the only one he could trust.

'Cause the other day, right,

Truman tried to tap me up

to bring in a load of gear.

You don't want to keep that to yourself.

You should go to security

and cover your arse.

Don't be so melodramatic.

So, what did you say to him?

What do you think I said to him?

So come on then, Curtis,

tell us who he is.

(LAuGHING)

And what, give up his grass?

Give over! (LAUGHING)

Here, he reckons he's got something

to give me that's massive.

JAMIE:
Did he say what? What, drugs?

Weapons?

I mean, come on.

It ain't going to be any f***ing bigger

than he's already given you.

-Yeah, that's true.

-(LAUGHS)

All that gear! Plus, Truman and Steadman

are completely f***ed

when that stuff comes back

from forensics.

Don't get much bigger than that.

CURTIS:
He said it is.

And I tell you what.

I reckon I've got him that f***ing close

to him telling me.

(EXHALES)

-Let's go again!

-Yeah, can I get a pint, please?

-A half, I'm driving!

-SAM:
I'm talking to him, not you.

(LAUGHS) You offered!

Can you drop us to Boleyns

on your way home?

-Yeah, yeah, no probs, man!

-DEANO:
Sweet!

CHARLIE:
You going out again?

JAMIE:
I'm going to give him a hand.

I'll be back in a minute.

CHARLIE:
Are you going

to that dirty titty bar?

DEANO:
Yes, I am going

to that titty bar again!

CHARLIE:
So predictable!

DEANO:
Need to get a bigger car, mate!

CURTIS:
You need to lose some weight!

Yeah! (LAUGHING)

You know what, Deano,

I think I'm going to give it a swerve.

Don't be ridiculous,

what you talking about?

He's got four new birds.

No, seriously.

I don't think I can do it tonight.

You're being ridiculous.

You have a good night, all right.

Sam, you sure?

-Sam...

-I can't do it, I can't do it!

Sam, I'll pay!

What's the matter with you?

Have a good night, Deane.

You're getting a boring c*nt,

you know that!

-All right if I stay with you tonight?

-CURTIS:
Sure, no probs!

How's things, Clive?

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

SAM:
Are you sure

Linda ain't going to mind?

CURTIS:
Oh, no, she'll be fine.

She loves having visitors,

you know that!

-Kids be asleep?

-Yeah, they should be,

it's way past their bed time.

(GRUNTS)

SAM:
F***!

Curtis! Oh, God!

I need an ambulance,

someone I need an ambulance.

Quick! We need an ambulance here!

I need an ambulance!

RUMPOLE:
We are prison officers.

Not judge, jury and executioner.

Now I know some of you

have your own ideas

about who's behind

the shooting of Curtis.

But we know f*** all.

When we do, it's a different story!

Do I make myself crystal?

PRISON OFFICER:
Yeah.

That's all!

Don't worry. I'll look after it!

(ALL MURMURING)

TRUMAN:
What you doing, bruv?

What the f*** did you put

this sh*t on my plate for?

Give me my f***ing beans.

What are you looking at you, d*ckhead!

What are you doing putting

this sh*t on my f***ing plate, bruv?

You get what you're given,

now jog on, you f***ing prick!

(LAUGHS) You know what, bruv

Just for your own health, you know,

I don't think you should

take things so seriously.

Move yourself!

It can't be the first friend of yours

that got shot, man.

I guess at least out there

you kinda knew who the enemy was!

How's Danielle and Toby,

by the way? (LAUGHS)

(INMATES YELLING)

(TRUMAN GRUNTING)

Get up!

-(ALARM RINGING)

-F*** it...

Yeah, you mess with my f***ing family...

(ALL sHoUTING)

SAM:
Come here. Come here!

You and me! You and me.

Is that all you got, bruv?

You enjoy that, yeah?

Is that all you've got, bruv?

ls that all you've got?

TRUMAN:
All right then, mate, let me go!

It's nothing, it's nothing.

It's all minor, it's minor.

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