Scum Page #6

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I never get the chance

to express myself.

Then it's as well you don't, lad.

I was only concerned with men

being stripped of their dignity...

cons and screws.

We aren't much different

in here, you know.

You're on report for insolence.

Yes, sir.

Stand up straight.

Right. In.

You've seen her, then?

Jesus. Beautiful.

I managed to touch her, you know.

These visits are gonna

drive me f***ing crazy.

Come on, you lot!

Look at this floor.

Get it cleaned!

Move yourselves!

Come on. Move!

That includes you, Toyne.

Sands!

Sands!

Move your f***ing self!

Duke!

You black bastard.

- Archer!

- Sir?

Report to my office!

Yes, sir.

Though the reports may seem minor

taken individually,

they do mean that altogether you are not

pulling your weight, Woods.

Three days.

Lose one month.

About turn. Out.

Move it.

Archer, in.

Feet on the mat, legs apart

and face the governor.

- Name and number to the governor.

- 4721, Archer, sir.

Ah, Archer.

Insolence,

graffiti.

- Guilty?

- Misplaced trust, sir.

How's Mecca these days, Archer?

No further information

through as yet, sir.

Though I am meditating

whenever possible.

I see.

Have you read Alanbrooke's book

on Churchill, Archer?

I don't believe

I've had that literary pleasure, sir.

You should. You should.

Seven days in the block.

Lose one month.

For your meditation, Archer.

About turn. Out.

Move it, Archer. Move!

Come on, Archer!

Move it!

- Move, Archer!

- Come on, Archer.

Double! Double!

I said double.

And the whole of C Wing

thought the fish was bad, James?

Yes, sir.

- What about the others?

- Yes, sir.

I can answer this, sir.

I do remember day in question.

First of all, that fish was not bad.

But I do admit

it may have seemed strong.

Strong, yes. I admit that.

But it was not bad.

What do you mean "strong,"

Mr. White?

Probably some of this new Atlantic fish

they're bringing out, sir.

Its strange taste can seem strong.

Well, you know...

You should complain at the time

if you think something might be off.

I did, sir.

- And?

- Mr. White ate it.

Wasn't bad then, was it, lad?

Do you think I'd have poisoned myself?

That was my dinner.

Yes. Well, we'll keep an eye out

for Atlantic fish.

Anything else?

The batter's all soft, sir.

Well, it always is.

I mean, the whole wing moans about it.

Mr. White.

Of course the batter's soft.

It's impossible to make crispy batter.

In all my years catering

in all kind of institutions

I've never been able

to make crispy batter.

The only way to do that

is to buy powdered stuff,

and we don't have

the money for that.

Come in.

Tea, sir.

- Tea, Mr. Goodyear?

- Why not. Why not.

- Can we smoke, sir?

- One quick burn.

Permission, Mr. Goodyear.

Thank you.

What's that?

Nothing, sir.

Out.

Yes, sir.

Well, I think that's covered

both wings, Mr. White.

Unless there's anything else.

And Meakin is satisfied

with the batter explanation.

Meakin?

Answer Mr. Goodyear, lad.

Stand up.

Toyne's dead!

He's killed himself in the Scrubs!

He's dead!

Look, I saw the guy

cut his wrists on A Wing

and you sent him

to the Scrubs to kill hisself!

He's dead!

Up your f***ing borstal.

I realize there's a bad feeling about

what happened to our friend Toyne,

and we're all deeply sorry,

but these things happen,

Carlin, as you know.

Many boys arrive here

in disturbed conditions

and there simply isn't

the staff to cope with them.

Anyway, I don't want the boys

on this wing behaving erratically.

It'll do no one any good.

In fact, they'll only make things

damn difficult for themselves.

I want you to use your influence

to keep things

down.

If you see what I mean.

It'll soon blow over.

All right, Carlin?

Yes, sir.

Good. Now off you go.

In.

Out.

3318, Meakin, sir.

In.

Out.

3610, Woods, sir.

In.

Out.

4721, Archer, sir.

- In.

- Sir.

4736, Angel, sir.

- What is it, Archer?

- There was no exercise today, sir.

Request to see the governor, sir.

In.

Archer, the rule book.

The rule book says exercise

is dependent on the weather.

- It looked like rain.

- But it didn't, sir.

Dirty cell, Archer.

Governor's report.

Imagine that in the back

of a Mercedes.

Yeah. Just like a bird

I used to knock off.

Great pair of bristols.

Do anything, she would.

- Anything you wanted.

- I've had plenty of birds like that.

Thin, though.

Mind you, thin birds

always go potty for me.

Christ, when I get out of here,

the big time, big stuff.

I've got some ideas.

That's one thing about the nick.

You never come out short on ideas.

And you know where you went wrong.

Or you get it from your mates.

Sort through their mistakes.

You can learn a lot in here

if you use your loaf.

Banks are best though.

You do one big job

and you're set up for life.

Planning, that's all it needs.

Planning. And plenty of bottle.

- In, bang, and out.

- There's no shortage of birds then.

Well, I never have been short of birds.

Always have plenty of crumpet after me.

- Listen to Burt Reynolds.

- Watch your mouth, Jackson.

The only crumpet you've had

is with your fist.

Yeah, and you'll be getting

my fist in a minute.

Leave off, will you?

We're sick of hearing you two.

Oh, hey, hey.

Hark at our bent friend.

You two fancy yourselves, eh?

Piss off.

You two couldn't organize

a piss-up in a brewery.

- I'll have you, Rhodes.

- Oh, cut it out, Richards.

"Cut it out, Richards. "

You've got some front, ain't ya?

We all saw how big you were

when Carlin sorted you out.

You and your mate Pongo.

If there's any more bother,

you'll get it again.

And Eckersley's due for it

if he steps out of line.

You know that, don't you, shithead?

Anyone comes near me

gets striped, all right?

No matter who they f***in' are.

Just remember, sh*t-bag,

that people get moved around

and Carlin ain't gonna be here

changing your nappies forever.

The way he's ass-licking,

he'll be out in a month.

And I'm gonna carve

you two bastards up first chance I get.

Just remember that, the pair of ya.

Is it all right if we have

a quick burn, sir?

Okay, but don't take too long about it.

There's work to be done.

What do you want?

Turn him over.

Please, no!

Please, no!

Come on, you lot. Come on.

Let's have you.

Right. Let's have you.

Come on outside,

you lazy bastards.

Davis, what are you doing there?

What happened?

- Well, lad?

- Nothing, sir. Nothing.

I fell, sir.

Well, fall back onto your feet.

This isn't Kew Gardens, laddie.

On your feet.

I've got all this bloody work

here to do,

and they're pissing about

in there smoking.

I was in the laundry today.

All bleeding day.

Murder.

I hate it in there.

Not bad tomorrow though.

On the gardening detail.

I like that.

Get some air.

Like a holiday.

Can almost imagine

you're not in this stinking hole.

You're on gardening tomorrow an' all.

Your name's on the list.

I'll see you then.

All right, Davis. What is it?

Speak up.

Why'd you ring that bell?

Don't you know it's an offense?

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