Sea Oak

---

Unkind thoughts about...

My nieces.

Like, they should get jobs.

Like... lazy.

Well, people do get jobs.

Like you.

Uh, like your nephew. He has a...

Cole's good.

The girls are...

I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings.

Do they ever hurt your feelings, Bernie,

by, for example, not working

when you at your age are still working?

I just want things to be nice.

Are they?

Nice?

Yes.

Okay, chick,

what is Zambia?

That is juice.

That is not juice.

Zambia.

Medicine-a.

These are stupid.

"For what was Winston

Churchill known chiefly?"

- Who has to even know that?

- It's not that hard.

Yeah, that's 'cause you got the...

"How many sides has a triangle?"

Both sides.

Bernie!

Girls!

Girls!

What is she doing?

Oh, sh*t! Bernie.

Egypt. Land of dark urges.

Building pyramids,

some of the greatest

erections man has ever had,

was not all hard work and no fun,

especially for the hunky overseers,

one of whom is shown here.

M... Min, I'm at work.

Bernie got hurt.

- What?

- Not bad, though, just a little.

She just, like, fell.

Okay, well, did you

take her to the clinic?

She says she's fine and

she's gotta get to work.

Okay, I'm comin' home.

I don't see why you

don't just call them.

You know, I hurt my foot,

I... I can't come in.

Cole, I have to talk to them in person.

Cashier is good.

It took me a long time to get it.

Well, let me help you in at least.

I'm fine.

And that might look a little weird.

The customers might not like that.

Just wait.

If you don't mind.

It's not twins, it's just huge.

I know. I mean,

I never thought I even

wanted any of this,

and now I'm like, I

wasn't anybody before.

Exactly, like,

this is why I was put here.

So corny.

Oh. Yeah, he's the best.

He, like, rubs my feet at night.

- He's so good to me.

- Connie.

Gotta go.

All right. Have a seat, little lady.

So, we're gonna be doing

some shuffling around.

Uh, I... I'm taking

that Betty off of the...

Who's Betty? We don't have a Betty.

Yeah, the, uh... the, uh,

really nervous, oldish...

- You know, always upbeat.

- Bernie.

- Bernie, right.

- But she's, uh... she's right...

I'm transitioning Bernie off of cashier

down to greeter.

Now, what we want in terms

of cashier is life. Huh?

- Confidence. Huh?

- Mm-hm.

So, you're cashier now, and Betty's not.

Mm-hm.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

You like those apples, huh?

- Yes, I do.

- Yeah, but you earned it.

I want you to just stay like that.

Life, right?

I'll just call.

And that ability to use tools...

All I'm saying is maybe if someone

falls down a flight of stairs,

- and can't walk...

- Says she's fine.

Okay, so maybe you decide. Is she fine?

Does her foot look fine to you?

We did what she said!

So, what's this? What is... What...

So what are we eating?

Stars-n-Flags.

Oh. Pretty.

I've had, like, five bowls already.

Them brown streaks in

the flags? Caffeine.

- Someone could cook.

- Dude, you cook.

We've been babysittin'.

You're babysitting your own kids.

You've just been sitting

on your ass all day.

Lookin' pretty.

Hey, check this out.

- Is that...

- Oh, my God.

- Angela.

- Padua Pork has pioneered

an innovative approach

to animal education

for aging seniors,

learning about animals,

and how they eventually become our food.

What, she's like a movie

star now or somethin'?

- I mean, she looks good.

- She does.

These lucky aged learners get

to see the ying and the yang,

bringing home a rich picture

of even the simplest meal.

I'm Angela Silveri for

Action News Team 10.

You oughta hit that.

She was nice.

What happened with her?

I don't know. Can't remember.

Can't remember?

Dude cried for, like, a month.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Sh*t. Again?

F*** you, too!

Bern, we're going to

the mall. You wanna come?

No, I'm gonna stay right here,

enjoy my sick day.

Don't answer the door.

Too many freaks around here.

I'm goin' to work. Call if you need me.

Okay?

Relax.

Okay, our first ring, I am so excited...

Hey.

Come here.

Uh, she says she thinks you're very, um,

- appeal.

- Oh-ho.

Yeah.

She wants her view to be all.

- Uh?

- Mm-hm.

- She wants to take a selfie...

- Uh-huh.

With you down below. Huh?

It's her birthday.

Birthday.

Right.

We aren't allowed to do that, legally.

Ohh.

- 100.

- Uh-huh.

One picture, her face down below.

- Huh?

- Yeah.

For joke only. To send a

picture to man back home.

- He laughs. Huh?

- He laughs.

- Huh?

- I'm sorry, I can't.

Hey, what is this place?

Stripping place, yes?

You strip, we look. Huh?

- Well, no, actually, it's a...

- It is!

You know what? You disappoint

our trip so f***ing much.

You do.

Cole.

What is guest?

It is someone who...

we do what they want.

I thought that wasn't allowed.

Well, it isn't.

And yet, it is.

Sometimes I think this

whole idea is misguided.

Is it sex, is it history?

The name is good, though.

"Posers."

I just...

just thought of it.

Min, I told you...

Get home. Get home right now.

What... Min, Min. Calm down, calm down.

Calm down. Tell me what happened.

Get the f*** home!

What the hell happened in here?

Get the babies. I don't want

them touching something dead.

Don't call her something dead, Min.

We came home and she was like that.

I think she's in a comma.

Guys, she's not, um...

She's not...

What do you mean?

What the f*** do you mean?

At this time,

if there are any family

members or friends

who would like to share

any special memories of Bernadette.

Uh, one... one of the things that I, uh,

really ad... admired

about her was that, uh,

she never stole.

That... that, uh... that I'm aware of.

Uh, s... so many of

these people, you know,

they... they feel like the big

faceless corporation owes me,

so I'll just take

whatever, but not Bernie.

That I know of.

Dollar here, dollar

there, next thing you know,

a place closes and nobody's working.

Bernie was a person who...

Yeah, I remember she once told me that

she thought of the

three of us as her kids.

So, al... although it might

seem like her life was lonely,

and, um...

I mean, for sure, the way

it ended, was... was, uh...

I mean, you're sittin' there,

you're just minding your own business,

and someone breaks in

and scares you so bad

that your h... heart stops,

I mean, that's... that's...

- It sucks so bad.

- It... it... but...

that doesn't change the

fact that she was loved.

So much.

And we're gonna find whoever did this,

and we're gonna make 'em pay,

no matter how long it takes.

No ma...

Lord, we thank you for the gift

that was Bernie.

We gotta come out here like every week.

Oh, I know I will.

What, like I won't?

She was so freakin' nice.

I'm sure. You swear at a grave?

Since when is freak a swear, chick?

Girls!

Bye, Bern.

To Bernie. A excellent lady.

I'd like to kill that

f*** that killed her.

How about we don't say f*** at lunch?

It's just a word, Ma.

Right? Like pluck is a word.

You don't mind if I say pluck, do you?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes