Sea Oak Page #2

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Pluck, pluck, pluck.

Well, sh*t's just a word, too,

but we don't say it at lunch.

This is supposed to be nice. For Bernie.

Uh, yeah.

Now you care.

What did you just say to me?

Guys, can we not, uh, do this right now?

The question in my mind is,

what are you kids gonna do now?

Because I consider this

whole thing a wake up call.

Meaning, it's time for you to

pull yourselves up by the

bootstraps like I done,

and get out of that dangerous

crap hole you're livin' at.

Gee whiz, it ain't that dangerous.

A lady gets killed and

it ain't that dangerous.

What's a bootstrap?

It's like a strap on a boot, you doof.

Jobs. Jobs! For both of you.

Blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, bloo.

Let me tell you kids somethin'.

Somethin' about this country.

Anybody can do anything.

But first, you gotta try.

And you guys ain't.

You kids make squat,

and therefore you live

in a dangerous crap hole.

And what happens in

a dangerous crap hole?

Bad, tragic sh*t.

Look, it's the freakin' American way.

You start out in a dangerous crap hole,

and work hard so you

can some day move up to

a somewhat less dangerous crap hole

and finally maybe you get a mansion.

At this rate, you

ain't even gonna make it

to the somewhat less

dangerous crap hole.

Like you live in a mansion.

I do not claim to live in no mansion.

But then again, I do

not live in no slum.

The other thing I also

do not do is strip naked.

Thank God for small favors.

Anyways, he's never actually naked.

- Right, Cole?

- Guys, could we keep our voices down, please?

Anyway, he's never actually naked.

Is it any wonder

we don't bring these

kids out to a nice lunch?

I do not even consider

this a nice lunch.

Cole?

Angela.

- My God.

- Hi.

We just seen you on TV.

That thing about the

guys who killed them cows

so those oldies could watch or whatever.

Can you get us some free steaks? Ha.

Um, Cole, this is Tobin.

Tobin, Cole.

I, uh... I read about your aunt.

She was always so sweet to me.

Yeah.

Well, it's nice to meet you, Tobin.

You're a lucky guy.

Uh, well...

you're very lucky, too.

Bye.

Nice.

Sure that's a good idea?

He's gonna weigh 7,000 pounds.

Do I weigh 7,000 pounds?

You used to love this sh*t right here.

A normal day, but Bruce Bitner's world

is about to be totally transformed

by the worst that could happen.

Is this the worst that could happen?

I only wish that were the case.

Hello.

Hi, Father.

Yeah, I never even thought

of being scared of that.

What... What does that mean?

I am so sorry.

Nothing like this has

ever happened here before.

What the hell?

Where's Bernie?

Somebody stole Bernie?

Her little shoe. Oh, my God.

- Is that it?

- That is it!

Where's the other... They only took one?

- I am freaking out!

- I am totally freakin' out.

What I don't get is who would want her?

She was just this lady.

Uh, Cole, it's Father Brian.

Um, listen, th... this is

such a difficult and, um,

well, strange situation

right now for you folks,

but please know that, um,

the thing lost, after all,

is only your aunt's body,

and what is essential, I

assure you, is elsewhere

being well taken care of.

Um, okay, um, listen, I'll let you know

if we find anything. Um...

How did that get in here?

- I mean, who would...

- Sit the f*** down.

You mister, huh,

are going to start showing your cock.

If a lady comes in, wants to see it,

if she'll pay to see it, you do it.

Money. It's all gonna take money.

Bernie.

Is she a zombie?

Ahh! I didn't even say it.

Zombie my ass.

You, Min, you're gonna

learn how to cook.

No more food out of cans.

We gotta eat right to look our best.

Because I'm gettin' me so many lovers.

You kids don't know this,

but I died a freakin' virgin.

No babies, no lovers.

Nothin' went in, nothin' came out.

Well...

I'm gonna have lovers now, you fucks!

Like in the movies.

Big shoulders and all.

And a summer house.

And in the morning in my room,

a vase of flowers.

And I'm gonna get my nipples hard

standin' in the breeze from the ocean,

eatin' shrimp from a

cup, you son's of b*tches!

Oh, my God.

I never had nothin'.

My life was sh*t!

I never even went up

in a freakin' plane.

Tell anyone I'm here, and you all die.

Plus, they die.

Whoever you tell, they die.

I can do that. I am

very freakin' strong now!

Looks like her.

It is her.

It is and it ain't.

Blanket!

Blanket!

No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no!

Hi, everybody, I'm Sam.

- And I'm Sandy.

- Louder!

We live here at Santa's workshop.

- Louder!

- Where you can join all of us

- for a day of fun...

- You like it that loud?

Helps me understand.

... singing, dancing,

and of course, meet Santa Claus.

Located on the White Base

Mountain Memorial Highway...

Bernie,

do you remember me?

For information, call 518-946-7838.

Cole.

Do you still love us?

Bernie, how'd you get back here?

Cover me up.

Head, too.

More sound.

I gotta fix.

Fix what?

Everything.

You.

Me?

All three of you stupid f***ers.

What does she want?

She says she's gonna fix us.

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