Search Engines Page #12

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I am so. Out with the blackberry.

Come on.

We're really going out.

Don't you shame my blackberry.

Now what?

I don't know, I'm naked and scared.

Am I fat? Gutty.

You're not gutty.

Cell phone's...

Such a cheat. So not right.

Poor Lilly.

My selfie is not myself.

ASSISTANT 1 No it's, it's

good, they can't see me.

My selfie is not myself.

David? David?

Damn it, where is he?

Oh, have you seen your wife?

I'm not exactly

sure where she is.

Well I heard she

was flirting with David.

That's great, thanks for

the information. Why don't you

mind your own business?

What are you doing out

here anyway, are you, are you

getting reception? Is reception

back? All right well I'm, I'm

not getting anything here. Just-

I'm sorry that's my phone.

I know I just - -

this is a real emergency.

If I can just this one thing I

mean you didn't f***ing ask me.

I understand but I just You

just take my-take a person's

need one second. phone

alright-give me my-

Excuse me? Don't touch me

Give me my f***ing phone.

Are you kidding me?

You're stark raving mad.

Oh well f*** you. You just

f***ing smashed my phone.

You shouldn't grab it.

Yes F*** me?

I shouldn't grab you? You

grabbed my f***ing phone.

How about that? Now your

phone is in the water.

What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with me?

What-that is

my life's work.

That's pathetic. Your

phone is your life's work?

Shouldn't your husband, your

daughter, your family

be your life's work?

E-Excuse me. Do not talk

about my family, especially not

my daughter. Where is,

where is Jennifer?

- Go on, go find her.

- Jennifer?

Jennifer? Baby? Go on. Go

Mom of the year. Get

the hell out of here.

Honey.

Jennifer? Ah. Oh,

Oh sh*t.

Jennifer?

Oh, what happened in here?

Thanksgiving got

the best of her.

Where is she?

I think she probably

wants to be alone.

Oh, I'm not sure if this

is funny or tragic. I'm sure

I could figure it out if it

weren't for the hunger pangs.

Oh my God what the f***!

Lilly!

Oh I'm sorry, granny.

What are we gonna do?

This is a disaster.

Mm, well I have an admission to make.

I knew something like this

could possibly happen, so I made

a backup thanksgiving dinner.

And it's in my fridge

right now at the house.

Seriously Granny?

Yeah.

Okay.

Welcome to your navigation system.

My name is Ethyl.

Okay ethyl.

How may I help you?

Hit it girl.

Yes, I know. I know

that everything I use my phone for

- sex, love, uh, companionship

are just stand-ins for the, for

the real thing. I, I know that,

I know a phone can't love you.

Can't nurture you.

Why would you want it to?

Because it's easier than

working things out with real people.

Yes. I

suppose you're quite right.

I got to go.

You suddenly in a rush?

I don't, I don't even

know what I'm doing here.

I should be with my own

family on Thanksgiving.

Well, you gonna make it?

This is like one of those old

Rosalind Russell movies.

I hope so.

Prepare to detour in 500 feet.

See what you did?

Detour now.

What did I do?

Detour now.

I've already been

down that road, Ethyl.

Action not recognized.

Resuming previous route.

Oh, okay.

Continue for three miles.

Here we are. CAR

GPS Then turn right.

Continue straight

then make a U-Turn.

Ah.

Continue for three miles.

Then turn right.

Oh god now I need gas.

Then you will arrive

at your destination.

See what you did? Approaching

Dusky Glen road.

What? I'm

going myself.

I'm sorry but no

satellites can be located.

Turn you off.

Welcome to your navigation

system, how may I help you?

Okay ladies, you want

to come out and we'll do the

final shot. So it was a

tumultuous, uh, Thanksgiving,

With some unexpectedly

thought-provoking dialogue.

Um, now I don't like my art to

have lessons. I like, I like

them just to be dollops

of human foibles and triumphs.

So I would like to end with a

question. And, uh, that is

the next time you pick up your

device, I'd like you to ask

yourself what is it I'm

searching for? And is

this the way to find it? Um,

okay, well that's it.

I'd just like to thank all the

new Twitter followers.

You know, you guys are the

faceless fans that make

it worthwhile. And, uh, we'll

see you again next time.

How'd it go?

Practically

perfect in every way.

I can't believe

that thing actually worked.

Where did you get it?

Amazon, 35 dollars. They're

quite popular, actually.

At some point I can imagine

everyone having a phone jammer

in their homes.

I doubt it.

Yeah, I don't

see that happening either.

Well, mark my words, the

future is not in the search but

the silence my

friends. Now come on.

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