Search Party

1

This van is kind

of weirding me out.

This van and the weed

is freaking me out.

I feel like I'm

on another planet.

I don't know,

I like Marty's van.

You know, it's like

a cozy cocaine mansion.

You know I met this

dude like five times?

Marty still does not

remember my name.

Yeah, where'd you find that guy?

He manages the casino where I

won the pai-gow tournament.

Pai-gow.

Hold on.

Pai-gow.

Tracy's coming to

pick us up, so...

Hold on a second.

Did you just invite your

fiance to your bachelor party?

Is that the cool thing to do?

No.

Did we just witness that?

I didn't...

No, I mean...

Well,

all the bars are closed

and our designated driver's like

passed out in the back.

I thought...

I thought it was over.

Is it not over?

Well, let us celebrate

the brief moments

that we have left

with each other?

Here's to the three of us.

Friends for life.

Thanks, guys.

- This was an awesome night.

- I will drink to that.

Hey, you guys...

You guys think I'm, like,

doing the right thing, right?

Like marrying...

Marrying Tracy?

Are you happy?

If you were happy,

would you even ask that question?

Well, it's not necessarily...

I mean, marriage can be scary,

even if you found the right girl.

Yeah, but you're

scared of everything.

You won't even ask out the attractive

girl who works at your office.

We work together.

So did Siegfried and Roy.

And look at them.

One of them got mauled

by a white tiger.

It was a wildebeest.

They don't do a wildebeest show.

Whatever you decide,

that is your decision.

Wait, hold on, hold on.

It's not his decision.

It's our decision.

What?

It is.

That's what you said.

We all have veto power

over each other's girls.

No, I said that

when I was nine.

I was a 9-year-old boy.

We made a pact.

I don't know, I'm sorry,

I shouldn't have brought all this stuff up.

No, dude.

You wanna make a pros and cons list?

Okay.

- I love her.

- That's a pro.

I'm happy.

Okay, we're ahead of the game.

Cons would be she eats slow.

She just chews so slow.

"She chews slow"?

That's the biggest con you have?

I mean, three-hour dinners

for the rest of your life.

And I just sort of have to

change my old self in order

to be my new self. You know?

That's part of the thing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you saying that you can't

be yourself around Tracy?

That's

coming out wrong. No.

I can be myself.

It's not that I can't be myself,

I just sort of need to

kind of have this new self.

You're either being yourself

or you're not being yourself.

I'm myself, okay, guys?

It's just that I have to...

You have to?

I want to evolve

this old self into a new self,

so the old self

goes to sleep

and the new self comes awake.

And sometimes,

the new self is truer

than any of the other

old selves could be.

Do you...

Do you do you

really wanna do this?

Yes. Of course I do,

come on.

I'm just high, man.

I'm just high.

Forget I said any

of this stuff, okay?

I just wanted to

talk things through,

you know, before

I jump off the bridge.

"Jump off the bridge"?

Yeah, jump off the bridge.

It's like a really

famous saying.

Yeah, it does not pertain

to getting married.

I think you have that

mixed up, actually, but...

Hey, Tracy.

Yeah, yeah, I'm coming out.

Coming out.

- Did you just hear that?

- Yeah.

He just equated

getting married to suicide.

No, I think he's having

jitters or something.

That's not the jitters.

She's a good person.

She's mean to waiters.

She had hot coffee burned on

her bare legs by that guy.

- Hey, guys.

- Hey!

There she is!

How much weed did you smoke?

All of it.

You guys excited

about the wedding?

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah. Jump off...

Yeah. Jumping off...

Jumping off that bridge.

Jumping off that bridge.

Okay, time to go, man.

It's time to go.

I've been sitting here a long time.

And what are we doing here, man?

I gotta go.

Just let me hang out

and think for a second.

We've been parked

here for an hour.

What would you do

if your best friend

was about to make the

biggest mistake of his life?

What, she's cheating on him?

What's happening?

No, I just don't think

they should get married.

We were all hanging out

and he was talking

about the pros and cons,

and, I mean, it was mostly cons.

I don't know. I think

part of him wants me

to go in there

and stop the wedding.

That's crazy, right?

Yeah, that's crazy.

We were all high in Marty's van

when we were talking about it.

I don't know, man.

Weed is truth.

Weed is truth.

Right? People get high

and they say some real sh*t.

I wish my friends had told me I was

making a mistake before my ceremony.

You wish your friends

had stopped you?

Every day of my life.

But we got married and then, bing,

bang, boom, we have the children.

Three small anchors tethering

me to a ship that's sinking.

Haunting me every day

from my kitchen.

Great kids.

Jesus.

The middle one is extra fat.

But everybody

makes a mistake?

Sometimes, these mistakes,

they're for eternity.

How many words would

it take to really say

How much you've changed my

life in every single way?

You make the good stuff better

And the bad stuff, too

Yeah, my life is better

'Cause I get to do it with you

Every night when we eat dinner

I get to chew it with you

If we get sick,

I get to flu it with you

And if we're watching Green Card

I get to Depardieu it with you

Yeah, my life is better...

Everything okay?

What?

Yeah. Tux looks great.

Thanks, yeah.

It was my grandfather's.

He was Italian.

He died in it.

Okay.

Remember this vow

I will renew it with you

My life is better

'Cause I get to do it with you

Okay. Now

it's time for the good part.

I believe you're providing the rings?

Yeah.

Got it.

Oops.

I, Nardo, take you, Tracy...

I, Nardo, take you, Tracy...

Stop!

Stop!

Sh*t!

What?

Stop the wedding! Stop!

Please, stop the...

The wedding.

I can't let you do this.

Jason, don't!

I'm sorry, but I have to.

What is happening?

Stay away from my daughter.

Who, Tracy?

Yuck. Gross.

I'm not here because I love her.

I'm here because I love him.

Me?

I knew it.

No, Jared, it's not a gay thing.

God, what is with him?

His bangs are longer

than his face.

I know that as I said that,

it did come out kind of gay,

but Nardo and I are

more than gay.

We're best friends.

And that goes for... For Evan, too.

Leave me out of this.

Hey, hey, Jason.

Jason, you cannot

do this right now.

Evan and I love you too much to

let you go through with this.

Leave me out of this!

What the hell is going on?

I'm sorry, Tracy,

I wanted to say this earlier.

You know, before

your family got involved

and Jesus was here.

I didn't realize

this is way more awkward

than I thought it was gonna be.

I thought that some

people would agree.

Not that you would carry me out

on your shoulders or anything,

but you guys have really

left me hanging here.

This is really...

This is a toughie.

But... But the point is

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes