Search Party Page #2

that she is not the one for him.

You said it yourself.

No, I did not.

I did not say that! What?

I never said that!

Yes, you did, in Marty's van!

I don't even remember

Marty's van.

I was high in Marty's van.

I was high in Marty's van!

A lot of chronic

was being passed.

Grammy, I'm sorry.

I don't smoke that crap.

It's medical.

I don't smoke crap.

You know what?

If anything,

Nardo was just going over the

pros and cons of you as a person.

You can be a little, you know...

You eat slow.

It's not a big deal.

We were just talking.

It was just guys

kind of gabbing...

It was just guy talk.

Guy talk, guy talk.

Stop, stop, stop, stop!

He's always apologizing.

You need to work on that.

He's always doing something wrong.

Stop it! Stop it!

Okay, this is not what

I think. We're just...

We're gonna go along

with the wedding, okay?

We're gonna do the wedding,

okay?

Nothing can stop us now.

We're...

Tracy!

Tracy!

Well, this is dangerous.

That's why that happened.

Everybody smokes weed.

Tracy!

Don't even speak to me, Evan.

Tracy, wait, don't leave!

You know what?

I knew you guys never liked me.

But I never thought

you were gonna ruin my life.

Tracy, I was just trying to...

You know what?

We got the chapel till 6:00.

Why don't the three of you guys

just go ahead

and marry each other?

Can we do that?

Because that would be hilarious.

I'm kidding. Obviously.

F*** you.

- You're the worst.

- Tracy...

Champagne?

Yes, thank you.

You want one?

No, I'm good. Thank you.

Thank you.

Here, let me talk to him.

Yeah, 'cause clearly you can

handle things appropriately.

Hey, buddy. Look,

I know you're upset now,

but it's gonna get better.

It's like your

first day of rehab.

It's hard to walk around the

Bellagio sipping Coke Zero...

Would you shut the f*** up?

I wanted to get married,

you a**hole!

What about in the van?

I don't even

remember that, okay?

I was f***ing high.

Yeah, but maybe

that was the point.

That Marty's sweet-ass van grass

was bringing out the truth,

that you don't

really wanna do this.

So I was going over

the pros and cons,

that's normal.

Everyone has cons, Jason.

I have cons.

You are made of cons!

I've accepted Tracy's cons.

I love Tracy's cons.

And... And now you've... You've...

You've ruined everything!

Hey, dumb f***,

how come you couldn't have had this

conversation before the wedding?

I did, Evan,

I talked about this last week!

And what did he say?

He said he wanted to marry her.

Okay, so what does

that say to you?

It tells me that he's wrong!

Tracy isn't the one for him!

Yes, she is!

F***ing dick!

What's the point

of anything anymore?

Of all of it?

All of life?

A stake has been

driven through my heart.

Yeah.

You know, I was thinking,

why don't you go after Tracy?

You love her, you know it.

Who cares what Jason thinks?

It's too late, Evan.

Come on.

Nothing's too late.

It is.

She's in Mexico.

She is on our honeymoon

by herself.

Tracy's in Mexico?

And she took both the

plane tickets with her.

I gotta go to work.

But you're...

You're gonna be okay.

Okay. Leave me.

Leave me like everybody else.

You, Tracy, the whole gang.

I get it. I get it.

No one wants to be

around a loser.

I'm dirt.

You're not dirt.

Well, I'm garbage.

I'm something bad.

You're not garbage.

I'm a dirty cum rag, Evan.

You know what that is?

I heard your roommate pranked

your boy Nardo's wedding.

I don't wanna talk about that.

Come on.

Well, you know what?

Your roommates are lame,

so you should just move in with us.

Wait, did he tell you about

the fact that everyone

has their own master bathroom?

With heated floors?

And what's fun is sometimes we trade.

We use each other's bathrooms.

That doesn't sound like so much fun.

It's a rush.

Yep.

It's a rush?

It's something new.

A new bathroom every day.

You find out stuff

about your friends.

Have you ever had

a traditional Viking meal?

I can't say that I have, no.

You've never had a goose

shoved silly with venison

and elderberries and twigs

and all sorts of things

that are natural, man?

Pudding?

You ever had pudding?

Isn't that hard to stuff?

Check out this brochure,

all right?

I don't know. I...

You know, my roommates have been

my best friends

since third grade,

and I know that people don't

understand them that great,

- but I love them.

- All right, shut up.

Here comes our future

shared girlfriend,

so we'll talk about this later.

Act like a man. Act like a man.

I am acting like a man.

- I know, but act more...

- Evan.

Can I borrow you for a sec?

Yes. Yes.

- Of course.

- Nice.

Hi.

Hi. Hey, what's up?

How are you?

Good.

Great, that's good to hear.

Talk to you.

Let's go?

Yes, yeah, sorry.

I'm glad you actually...

This is a workplace,

keep it professional.

Or don't.

I'm glad you

actually grabbed me,

because I wanted to talk to you.

I know we work together, but...

Listen, listen!

MacDonaldson really

likes your stuff.

What?

When did he say that?

In the department meeting.

He wants to see you, now.

I'm not even

close to ready. I...

This is a good thing.

Just watch, do this, do this...

Shake it out. All right, shake it out.

I'll shake it out,

but I'm not gonna do that thing...

Relax.

Your neck is tense.

My neck is tense?

Well, I mean... I'm not...

You put me on the spot.

Get it together.

You're gonna blow it, dude.

What?

Just kidding.

Okay.

I love the work

you've done here.

I think you and I should

present this together tomorrow.

Really? That's great.

I think you're ready to move

to the industrial side.

Tell me,

how would you like to

steam with me tomorrow?

Say, 8:
00 a.m.?

Steam?

Steam.

You know what steaming with me means,

I take it?

Yeah, yeah.

It means we'll both be naked.

Well, that is part of it.

What...

What is the other part?

Excuse me. There's a John

McClane here to see you, Evan.

About the Nakatomi deal?

Nakatomi deal?

Who's John McClane?

Um...

It's just this side opportunity

I've been exploring.

Could you tell him

that I'm busy right now

and that I need a few minutes?

I tried.

He said it's urgent.

I'm sorry, sir.

Don't be.

I like the hustle.

Go on, get after it.

Short meeting.

I was paged.

Paged? Paged by who?

No one.

John McClane.

Bad cop with a heart of gold?

Tortured by his past?

You were paged by

the movie Die Hard?

I guess so.

So, what happened

with MacDonaldson?

I don't know.

He asked me to steam with him.

No way!

That's awesome, Evan.

Why?

He always steams with

people he's gonna promote.

He likes to seal the deal with an

old-fashioned handshake at the club.

So, I got the promotion?

As long as you show up there

and shake his hand, yes.

This is huge!

F***ing piece of sh*t peach tea!

Please, peach tea.

Sh*t.

Did you know your

Snapples won't open?

No, I didn't hear that.

Hey.

Can you open this?

You have no idea how much

we've heard about this outfit.

What?

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