Second Hand Wedding Page #2

Mum, what do you want with a bassinet?

Is there something you're not telling me love?

Oh well, you can laugh if you like. But it was a

bargain,

and it almost came in useful right here.

But I'm not pregnant.

No, but you almost were.

Right, well I think the ladies needs to talk, Stew.

Yeah.

Right, what's all this about then?

Well Mum, um...

Stew and I have decided to...

...get...

Look at her, the car that put the world on wheels.

Always wanted one of these Stew,

now here I am, living the dream.

It's a beauty Brian, a real beauty.

You've ah...

You've asked her to marry you haven't ya?

Bet she said yes.

Well you'd win that bet Brian.

I'll tell you this much Stew,

when I walk my daughter down that aisle, we're

gonna be making history.

History?

Yeah, well... It'll be the first time in living memory

this family has ever given anything away.

Brian, did Stew tell you?

Yeah, I think it's great.

Well, I think it's an absolutely stupid idea and I've

been trying talk her out of it.

- What?

- What?

She's allergic.

Allergic?

I told Mum about the cat Stew...You know the cat

we're getting.

Oh yeah, um yeah Jill look I tried to talk her out of

it, but, but ah, you know

what shes like.

Well I've got a photograph of her at 12 at the cat

show,

she's completey covered in hives, it's upstairs. I'm

going to go get it, see if it will jog your memory.

So, what's going on?

I just couldn't tell her okay? Please don't tell her

either of you.

I've never kept anything from your mother, I don't

think...

Here you go, look at this.

That's what cat's do to you.

Yeah you're right, it was a stupid idea.

No darling, it wasn't stupid, you just didn't think it

through.

Yeah you're right, I didn't.

I couldn't, I just couldn't tell her.

Don't worry about it, just tell her when the time's

right okay?

That's just it,

when will the time be right?

She's always made my life a living hell...

...even at school, I didn't have black shoes for my

uniform, so she painted my brown shoes black...

with watercolours...

rain...

Oh.

I love her Stew I do, I just don't want her turning

our special day into some...

...bloody second-hand wedding.

Thanks Brian.

What was all that business about tonight, Cheryl

and the cat?

Oh,

she can be a ning-nong sometimes, can't she?

You know where she gets that from, don't you?

My side.

Night love.

Love you.

I feel really bad about Stew,

he doesn't understand why I can't wear the ring.

Why aren't you wearing the ring?

Alex Johnson, you put that down, and stop teasing

Bella, okay you sit on the bench for the rest of

playtime, now.

I'm not wearing it because the teachers at Beach

school know the teachers at Coast school.

And Jill works at Coast school.

It'll be all over this place like a case of nits.

Miss Rose.

Yes Tai?

Sean called me the 'i' word.

The 'i' word?

Yeah.

Well, you tell Sean that if he calls you the 'i' word

again, he'll have a timeout for the rest of playtime

okay?

Okay.

The 'i' word?

I think it's idiot, it used to be the 'e' word but I think

they're better spellers now.

Why don't you just tell your Mum, just tell her

straight out you want to organise it.

Oh, alright.

I guess I could give her a couple of things to look

after.

Like the bridesmaids dresses.

You wouldn't.

Ha, ha, course I wouldn't.

Hello Jody.

Hi Mrs. Rose.

What can I do for you?

My Mum says I have to give you this.

It says that we can't afford for me to go on camp

next month.

So it does...

I'll tell you what Jody,

I need a special assistant to come on camp this

year...

and this special assistant wouldn't have to pay to

come on camp cause I'd need them to help me

organise games,

and a lolly scramble at the end...

Do you know anyone that could do that job?

I could, I'd work hard.

You sure?

Well you take that note home to your Mother and

tell her to give me a ring.

Thank you.

I s'pose those camp fees are going to come out of

school funds.

Actually the're not Gracie, I'm going to pay for Jody

to go to camp myself,

just like I paid for Martin Hamilton last year and

David Walsh the year before that.

Hello... Is anyone there?

Oh...um...ah...

Ah...Hello...Hi...um my name is Martin Fisk...

and I work for the Bargain Basement.

We specialise in the sale of second-hand goods,

so we...

Cut to the chase son, what are you selling?

Well actually I'm not selling anything, I'm actually

looking to buy.

We like to check on the local area to see if anyone

has anything they'd like to sell.

Anything we'd like to sell?

So...do you...

have anything you'd like to sell?

Nope.

Nothing...really?

Really.

Um...

Well if anything occurs to you,

here's my card.

Give me a call.

There you go.

Thanks, Brian.

Nice car.

Model T, brass radiator.

Oh, I see...

Brian.

Martin.

Um, look if I was to ya know stick my nose in again

to see if you had anything.

Sure.

Don't fancy your chances though.

Right.

Oh, that's a bit cold now, how's yours?

Oh no, I'll just be a minute.

Gracie and I had another run in today.

Oh yeah?

She's a strange one, we used to get along so well

once upon a time,

and it all changed once her Harry died.

-Oh.

-Sad really.

Might have to be a bit careful, could've made it too

hot now.

I don't know what I'd do if I lost you Brian.

Make your own cups of tea for a start.

Making cups of tea are the least of it.

You're my best friend.

You know all of my secrets, and I know all of yours.

Let's go.

How much for that candlestick?

Ah, sorry love, I've just sold it to this lady here.

Looks like I beat the Queen of Sales to the deal.

Gracie, I've got a candlestick just like this at home.

You have?

Yeah, it's for my daughters wedding and I've been

looking everywhere for its match.

Oh, I didn't know Cheryl was getting married.

Oh well she's not getting married, but when she

does I would really love the pair.

Would you sell me that?

So now I have something you want

Don't be spiteful Gracie

I really like this candlestick Jill..

It's like one of a pair my mother used to have, it's

not for sale..

..maybe you'd like to sell me yours?

Over my dead body.

Now who's being spiteful.

Hi!....Are you just packing up?

No, just putting up a new sign, some bugger stole

my last one.

Oh...who steals a Garage Sale sign?

Oh bloody kids I reckon..

..must have pinched it the minute I put it up.

Haven't had a customer all morning.

Not one customer?

Haven't sold a bloody thing.

We'll see about that.

Muffy?

Yeah.

I've got two of them.

Muffy, Muffy.... vintage.

How much for that?

Ten dollars?

Eight!

Deal.

Oh yeah that's interesting.

Do you have any Tretchikoffs?

I might,..what exactly is a Tretchikoff?

Um, only the most reproduced artist in the world.

Kevin?

How much for this?

Five dollars.

Ten.

You don't know much about haggling do you Jill?

Ten and I'm still ripping you off.

Have it your way, rip me off.

Moorcroft, isn't it?

Possibly.

Ho ho, definitely I'd say.

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