Second Nature Page #4

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So...

It's your turn.

How long you been here?

We got here two nights ago.

Guess you got five days left.

Until what?

To go back through

the mirror honey.

Or stay here forever,

I don't give a sh*t.

Hey my watch remember,

it broke that night.

So we have exactly

five days at 10:
02 pm

to find your very vulgar

grandmother's mirror

or we're stuck here forever.

Hey, plenty of

time for us to go

see a woman's football game.

You think it will be...

Lingerie?

No.

Well I don't think you

can say that definitively

until you actually

see it first hand.

So what

did it look like?

Well it's small, handheld...

It's got a diamond shape.

Like a thingy on the handle.

It's a fork thing,

it was copper.

Yeah, we don't

carry any mirrors.

Okay so why'd you

ask what it looked like

if you don't carry any mirrors.

I was just trying to help.

Cool.

Why is this locked?

I have an idea.

No, mmm mmm.

It's great!

Holy sh*t!

Oh my God.

Don't get used to this.

Everything okay?

Yes.

Everything is just

fine gentlemen.

I do need to have a

talk with Bret though,

so why don't you guys go ahead

and go to lunch on me.

Really?

Yes.

You deserve it.

You guys have been working hard

and it's your last day

before you take leave so.

You know what, you

guys go ahead and

get a pedicure

too, on the house.

That's what I'm talking about.

Amanda you are so sweet.

Really, you are loved.

See ya.

Bye gentlemen.

So I'm a shitty boss because

I don't buy them

lunches and toe jobs.

What?!

Oh my God no.

Ew, do you know what that means?

Yeah.

Gross.

We need to call the

police about this mirror okay.

Okay.

Like now.

Okay.

The debate, we forgot

about the debate.

Who cares about the debate?!

We're not going to the debate!

What if we mess up the space

time continuum or something?

We have already done that doc.

Look, we will look

for the mirror,

but in the meantime

I think we need

to see where this goes.

Just see where it goes.

Yes, come on.

Yeah run with it, fun.

That mirror is

priority number one.

Fine!

What a wonderful turnout.

We'll start with an

opening statement

from each candidate.

Gentlemen first.

I'm Bret Johnson.

A vote for me means a safer town

and a stronger police and fire.

And I will work on lowering

property taxes for Louisburg.

Ellensburg.

He's a little nervous,

nothing wrong with that.

I'm Marge Crane,

my goal is simple.

Investigate the

nuclear artifacts

that are being smuggled

out of Hanford.

Eliminate them and our water

won't make the tea

taste funny no more.

Amanda Maxwell, City Council.

In addition to

safeguarding our elders

by rezoning

Hillview, I also plan

on leading our community into

a new era of egalitarianism.

Starting with equal

pay for women.

You mean equal pay for men.

Yes.

I meant equal pay for

men, that's what I meant.

And new dog parks.

Why don't you tell us

more about those dog parks?

No, no.

We're gonna talk about

what Jeff just said.

Equal pay for men

and protection against

sexual harassment.

Men should not have

their dignity revoked

or their shirts.

Or be forced to kiss other men.

That's right.

Damnit.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're saying that two

men shouldn't kiss?

No.

No, it's not what I said.

I mean that men who

don't normally kiss men

don't have to do it.

Shouldn't have to.

If they don't want to.

I'm for equal rights.

Bret, I like the

way your shirt fits.

Can you tell my husband

where you got it?

Sure will.

I like that you go natural.

It's bold.

That's good.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

And it's clear

that you don't spend

all your money at the salon.

You've got a very

practical haircut

so you can focus on

more important things.

Thank you for noticing Amanda.

You're welcome.

Let's go ahead and

talk about anything else.

Yeah, are you single?

That's harassment.

Total bullshit!

Look, whether we have a

woman or a man at the helm,

what we need is someone who's

not preoccupied with bickering.

But who can save our sorry asses

from radioactive sh*t!

I hate you.

I hate you more.

Alright, I'm not

gonna sugarcoat it.

That sucked a hot cheesy vagina!

Not as bad as that swing though.

How am I supposed

to get over that?

Nobody pays attention

to debates, who cares?

I looked like

a freaking idiot.

I mean,

sometimes you have

to look like an idiot

to know how not to become one.

That is the worst

motivational speech

I have ever heard in my life.

When I look at you

I don't see an idiot.

I see a woman.

A woman who's a fighter!

And that fighter wants

to be a champion!

Yes!

So you got hit, whatever.

Ovary up.

Get up off your ass

and get 'em with a

roundhouse kick to the face.

Now I have to

learn how to kick?

No, but you gotta hit better

than a freaking politician.

Alright, watch out.

Yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

Jam out with your clam out.

Alright, damage control.

Alright,

priority number one.

Get out and talk with people.

I'm good with people.

We need quality education

for our children

and protection for our seniors.

And more parks for our dogs.

Listen Penny, if

you see a mirror

that looks like that

could you give me a call?

Yeah I'll call you sweetheart.

Thanks.

You've got to

maintain your focus.

Minimize your distractions.

Got it.

Sorry, now's not

really a great time.

Pick some issues

to differentiate yourself.

Men's rights

Our human rights!

What's going on?

Hey.

Hey Jeff.

What?

Prepare for the

candidates fishing trip.

Don't wanna look

like a dumb sh*t.

For the big fish

I'm gonna catch.

Have you been working out?

Oh.

Love your shoes.

Protecting a man's

right to a vasectomy

is the main reason

I'm running for Mayor!

You have beautiful eyes.

Perfect.

That's so sweet.

Your hair looks

amazing too, beautiful.

Okay loosen up

for me a little bit.

Alright, sex sells.

While freeing and empowering

men at the same time.

Work your image.

Be the women people

feel they can relate to.

There it is.

Smile with your eyes,

but not your mouth.

Oh my God, oh

my God, oh my God!

You just got maced.

Now you got it!

You look so skinny.

Yeah?

Go punch him in the nuts.

Oh Jeff.

I know.

I get it.

I get it.

You should get your

head gasket checked out.

That's not right.

You did this.

I did that.

I did that.

You did this with your balls.

I freaking love this town!

I don't know

if you're trying to win

or sabotage yourself.

What, I've been

doing your whole list.

My list doesn't

include getting maced

or driving drunk.

Touche.

What is she doing here?

We need the

support of the county's

biggest developer.

Two days before the election.

Don't screw this up.

Hi.

Hi Judy.

Alright, I'll be honest.

Okay.

I've always liked you Maxwell.

But I've been

hearing some things

about you lately.

Super awesome things right?

I guess the best

way of putting it

is you're just not yourself.

That could be my fault.

I'm putting a lot

of pressure on her.

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