See Girl Run

This boyfriend

was really cute...

handsome, always voted, like,

best eyes, best hair,

that type of thing in school,

so there's like,

a lot of butterflies,

a lot of excitement

for me because that's, like,

you know, it was just exciting

that somebody like that

would be, you know, so

interested in someone like me.

I just remember being

in this Italian restaurant

and we ordered, like, a pizza

to share

and the cheese was kind of

stringing out of my mouth

and, you know, there's just

no good way to handle that.

So, that was embarrassing.

And I thought,

oh, why did you order pizza

on your first ever date?

I mean, he really loved to shop.

And he really loved

to buy things for me.

And he lived with two

really... very out men

who, one time I came over there,

and they were shaving

each other's backs

for a drag contest

and I thought...

it's not typical to...

it's not a typical scenario.

Three years since I'd seen him,

and we were standing there

talking about nothing,

like something completely inane.

And my parents were

boring down on us.

And then completely

unconsciously,

I put my finger

on his widow's peak.

Just out of nowhere.

Completely unconsciously.

I hadn't touched him

in three years.

And I remember very distinctly,

like, waking up

in his little twin bed

that he had that we would share

when I was visiting

and finding these long, black

hairs on the pillow.

Yeah, and... and I was sort of,

like, you know, "What's this?"

We broke up

and he gave me an Elvis doll.

It was really weird.

He was like, "I know we...

you're leaving. Here."

And I opened it and it was,

you know,

like a collector's item

Elvis doll

in a wrapping.

It was, like, the strangest

breakup parting gift

I think there could be.

If I saw him or I found out

anything about him,

it would destroy these

beautiful memories that I have.

'Cause there's something about

that first high school romance.

There's, like, a glow to it

in your mind,

even if it wasn't

really like that.

The second we got together,

I instantly stopped caring

about what other people thought,

because I had Jason

and he had me.

And for that last glorious

chunk of high school,

that freedom we shared,

it meant everything.

And then?

Uh, we went

to different schools.

Was it mutual or...

which one of you first decided

to end the relationship?

Mm... neither of us.

Neither of us ended it.

You told me things ended

before college.

Yeah, I suppose that's true,

but in reality,

we didn't break up.

We never have.

Come on.

Go on. Who needs a walk?

What about Sadie?

Uh-uh.

You took her a couple of

hours ago with Rico and Doc.

What about Molly?

She's getting picked

up in 20 minutes.

Alicia, did you give Moses

a bath like I asked?

I think all these rascals

are good for now, boss.

I think Primo and Doxy need

to learn to get along better.

I'm gonna take them out

together.

I can take them. No, it's all

right, I got them. Come on.

Primo's being a dick

today anyways.

All righty.

See you in 45.

Come on.

Adeus.

I know. I know, Cocoa.

I'm going to be right there.

Oh...

Come here, come here.

Are you ready to go?

There you go, sweetie.

I am not at all

the type of person

to try out for a reality show.

No.

My show will be for

people who are curious.

People wonder, "What if?"

from time to time.

What about my old boy... Jason?

Are you gonna have to get to

know him, too, if we do this?

I've been in touch with him.

Wow, God, h-how is he?

The way I approached

it with Jason

is that we were doing a show

about past relationships.

I couldn't tell him I intended

to reunite the two of you

because if we were to film it,

it would need to be a surprise.

So when are we gonna do this?

Emmie,

unfortunately, after speaking

with Jason, it seems

you don't meet

the qualifications

as a subject for the show.

What qualifications?

I don't understand;

You said that

I was one of

the final candidates.

As he was sharing with me

some of his thoughts

about previous girlfriends...

Did he mention me much or...?

Emmie, why didn't you

tell me you and Jason

have been in contact

over the past couple years?

He sent me a couple

of postcards.

I never mailed anything back.

It doesn't constitute contact.

It was nothing.

Okay, everybody, now, for

your very first lobster ever,

you have to learn

one essential rule,

and that is that not only can you

be unafraid of getting messy,

but you have to love

being messy.

Yo, yo!

Like love it. Yes?

You promised.

Okay, I know.

I can't do it right.

Okay, I'm coming.

Well, when? Table six is almost

ready for their dessert.

Very soon.

Hurry up.

Okay.

Sorry about that.

Who was that?

I don't even know who that was.

She doesn't work here.

She just likes the uniform,

so we let her, like, run around

and bark orders at people.

Okay, for the demonstration,

I am calling on the assistance

of my trusty assistant, lobster,

but there's a problem

with this lobster.

He doesn't have a name,

and I need him to have a name.

Is there a name

that you guys can help me with?

Please. Yes, what is it?

Bob.

Bob? Are you serious?

You know, he actually

does look like a Bob.

So, this...

I'm in luck.

Thank you very much.

You know what, you should

help me name some of my frogs.

You have frogs?

I do have frogs;

I have a lot of frogs actually.

Once you guys are black belts

at this,

I'm going to tell you all

about what I do in real life.

Now, everybody,

grab your crackers.

Em.

We'll talk tomorrow.

Don't wake yourself up.

No, I'm up, I'm up.

I want... I want to,

I want to hear about it.

How'd it go?

# You're not the Pope

# You're not the Pope #

# You're not the president

# You're not the president #

# You might not even be

# You might not even be #

# A mean resident

# A mean resident #

# But your friends and

your family brought you here #

# To celebrate another year

# And stuff yourself

with shrimp galore #

# Chowder, clams and crab

and more #

# You overdose on

lobster tail...! #

# So then you'll forget

you're gettin' old as hell! #

Oh, my goodness!

Happy birthday!

You guys need anything else?

Is everything okay?

You're crazy.

Well, don't ask me

again tonight.

Okay, happy birthday.

Goddamn! Graham!

I said you have to flush it

before you're done.

I have to wipe a lot.

F***ing finally!

Miracle.

You really have to get

that thing taken care of.

I don't know what to do.

So, the guys want to put up the

money for another location or...?

Oh.

Mm? What's... What's wrong?

Nothing.

What?

No, it's nothing.

What?

Ems, maybe you should...

maybe you should shower.

I... I just, you know how it is when

you work with the dogs all day.

...took a shower

after work.

I know. I... I know, but

it-it's, um... Graham,

I'm clean.

It's kind of...

It's...

Okay, you know,

I'll light a match.

No, it's just...

It-it's just...

It's unsanitary.

Don't you think?

I hate to break it to you,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes