See Here, Private Hargrove Page #10

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spend the duration

manicuring garbage cans?

You got a book coming out.

You gotta make some dough.

Maybe you'd like

to see your girl.

Well, I... I don't know, I...

this is answer to

a K.P.'s prayer!

Clean hands!

Sit around in a swivel

chair all day long.

Interesting assignments

all over the country.

Maybe New York.

You know, I think maybe

you got something there.

Attaboy!

Now, first chance you

get, you run up to town

and contact some of these

newspaper friends of yours,

get some letters of

recommendation, you know.

And what are you going to do?

Forge some?

Oh, don't worry about me.

Just leave a little space on

the letters for my name, too.

Why, you old swindler.

Why, sure...

didn't I swindle us the

best jobs in the U.S. Army?

Yeah.

Why, we're practically aristocrats

of the field artillery.

No more K.P.

Oh!

We'll travel to every important

city in the country.

Yeah! Chicago, Detroit...

and New York!

St. Louis, Salt Lake City...

and New York!

Philadelphia, Pittsburgh!

We'll be dancing in officer's clubs

all over the country!

Oh, brother, that's it!

Hey hey

May I?

Why, of course!

No more K.P. hey hey

Hey hey no more K.P.

No more K.P. hey hey

Oh, boy, Carol and me hey...

hey!

Hey... hey! oh,

boy, Carol and me

Hey... hey!

Oh, boy

La da Dee-ah, ah da Dee-ah

Da da da, get

Carol in my arms

La da da, ah da da...

Hargrove!

[Approaching vehicles]

[Whispers] Hey, what

about those transfers?

Pick them up, will you?

Couple of more of

these forced marches,

and I won't have strength

enough to hold a pencil.

Well, I just got word...

Sergeant:
Attention!

Hup, 2, 3, 4!

Hut, 2, 3, 4!

Hep! Hep!

Hut, 2, 3, 4!

Hut, 2, 3, 4!

[Blows whistle]

All men in this barracks

are moving out tonight!

Yahoo!

Where to?

Camp "x".

That's what we've been

waiting for!

Get your equipment, pack

your barracks bags,

and have them ready by 22:00.

You leave 23:
00. That's all.

[Excited chatter]

You and your soft jobs, huh?

What happens now, mastermind?

Well... Don't bother me now.

I've got to pack.

Sergeant:
Now get your

stuff stowed away,

and let's show the new C.O. that

we learned to stash equipment.

Now, if you men would like to

be in on a little secret...

those 3-day overnight marches

at Bragg was just kid's stuff!

Tomorrow we start out

on a 30-day maneuver,

and they'll throw plenty of live

ammunition and dynamite at us.

So this battery better

be on the ball.

That's all.

And, uh, what is your comment

on this situation,

Private Mulvehill?

Don't bother me now.

I got to unpack.

[Artillery fire]

[Shell burst]

How you doing?

Oh, great.

We should be out of

here by Christmas.

[Artillery fire]

[Shell burst]

I like this!

You be careful.

You might get a slug

in your bonnet.

Brother, I wouldn't

lift my head

to kiss Hedy Lamarr!

[Artillery fire]

[Shell burst]

Exciting, isn't it?

Yeah.

[Artillery fire]

[Coughs]

Public relations, huh?

Sergeant:
Hit it, boys!

On your horse, private...

get going!

Come on!

Hit it!

Aah!

Come on, fellas!

Break it up! Let's go!

Go through there!

Come on!

[Explosions]

Come on, let's go!

Come on!

[Artillery fire]

[Explosion]

Come on, men!

Keep moving!

Over the hurdle!

Yes, sergeant!

Come on, fellas, let's go!

Hurry up, men!

Come on, Hargrove,

under the wire!

[Artillery fire]

Come on, men! Come on!

Hargrove, come on!

You think we got all day?

Come on!

Oh, I'd go faster,

only I like it

here in the mud!

Mulvehill, keep

those hands down!

You want to get them shot off?

[Artillery fire]

Oh, boy, this is

good, clean fun!

We'll be darn glad

we had this workout

when we get where we're going.

What do you mean,

where we're going?

It's a cinch with all

these maneuvers,

they ain't getting us

ready for the camp show.

They're shipping us out.

I hear it's Norway.

Oh, that's a lot of corn!

It's rumors, that's all.

Yeah, well, Burk got it

practically official.

On the level, Burk? Official?

Well, like Esty says,

practically official.

A friend of mine, a fella

who used to hack out of

the same garage in Jersey,

he's stationed over

to Camp Roberts.

He eats all the time

in a restaurant

where the cashier goes

around with a guy...

he works in the officer's club

here at this camp.

And this guy was waiting

on some visiting officers

from Fort Sill, Oklahoma,

and that's how I knows

we're headed for Norway.

Boy, is that official.

I could give you a better prediction

by reading your tea leaves!

Pick up your equipment!

Fall in over here!

On the double!

You'll see, wise guy.

If you wake up some morning

with snow on your bunk,

don't say I didn't warn you.

Bart! Here I am!

Shane! Here!

Hargrove! Here!

Lathram! Here!

Adams! Here!

Hey, it's from the publishers.

Open it up, slowpoke.

Come on, come on, come on.

They've accepted the book!

And a check!

A pen, Esty.

Now, you just endorse this,

and I'll go right

out and cash it.

A pen, a pen, a pen!

Esty:
Oh, all right.

You'd get it dirty.

"Total assets, $300.

"Cash on hand in deposit and

banks and trust companies

"other than this advance, 0.

Therefore..."

hey, Mulvehill, what are you

trying to pull off here?

I'm giving you

lugs a statement.

Say, if I was a firm of

certified public accountants,

I'd charge you guys real money

for a report like this.

Well, speed it up, will you?

Now the stockholders

are getting impatient.

Yeah, let's get down

to the divvying.

Ok, if you want to run your

business in a sloppy manner.

We got 300 bucks.

You split it up 4 ways, and

that's 75 bucks apiece.

Oh, hiya, sarge.

Hiya, sarge.

Too bad you're not

a stockholder.

We're just cutting

up a dividend.

Yeah, how do you like

our private goldmine?

Those two? A couple

of swell operators.

Mulvehill, I've met some

14-carat swindlers in this army,

but you rate a salute

from the best of them.

And you're in there

pitching, too, Hargrove.

Your transfers

just came through.

Public relations.

What transfers?

You're kidding, sarge.

Oh, didn't they

even tell you guys?

Well, we didn't say anything

about it because...

oh, quit your stalling.

So you swindled two seats on

the aisle for the duration.

What's wrong with

asking for a transfer?

Kind of tough on you guys...

working hard like you did to

make that a crack gun crew.

Well, everybody did,

and it turned out to be the

best one in the battalion.

Then half your team transfers

just before the game starts.

That's what's wrong with it.

If you ask me, I'd call it a

good break for the battery.

Ok, if that's the way

you feel about it!

You can take your old battery

and mow the lawn with

it for all I care!

Old iron pants is just

blowing off a little steam.

Now, where were we?

Oh, yes, the money.

Well, as I was saying,

that means a total for each

one of the stockholders...

keep mine. Count me out.

But that's not fair.

You're entitled to it.

Look, bud, what I'm

trying to tell you

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