See Here, Private Hargrove Page #2

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Out west, it's used

for snake bite,

guaranteed to take out

the sting and soreness,

and the beauty of it is,

you don't have to pay a

cent unless it works.

If it brings you quick relief,

you just look up old Mulvehill

first payday, and I guaran...

Sergeant:
Hey, you inside!

Lights out... 3 minutes.

Snap into it and get to bed.

[Grunts]

Say, if anybody needs any

sleeping pills, I happen...

Regimentation. Do

this, do that.

You'd think they'd want

us to preserve

our individual personalities.

You better wrap that

individual personality

and check it for the duration.

The army doesn't want any.

You know, we start

drill tomorrow.

Don't you know some

sweeter bedtime story?!

Well, I got an angle.

You know, there's a

few departments here

we might be interested in.

Special services,

public relations.

And I figure if we could swindle

ourselves some kind of a deal...

look. Mulvehill, as a

swindler, you're on your own.

I got a good look at

that guardhouse today,

and it made this barracks look

like the Waldorf-Astoria.

Oh, all right.

If you want to spend

the rest of your life

doing "squads right" and

all that kind of stuff.

[Bugle playing taps]

[Whispering]

Exciting, isn't it?

What is?

This. I mean, being here.

Maybe it isn't for you,

but I've never been

away from home.

It's kind of exciting for me.

Sure it is, kid. For me, too.

Ha!

What's the matter?

Can't you sleep?

No. I was dead tired

till I got in bed, too.

I'm worried.

Yeah?

I didn't give the draft

board my new address.

[Whispering] Hey!

Hmm?

Boy, I've worried

and wondered about

this first day

for a long time.

I'm sure glad it's over.

Yeah, me, too.

We're soldiers.

It's a brand-new thing.

I don't feel like a soldier.

Don't even look

like a soldier.

Well, that's the

army's problem from now on.

[Train whistle blowing]

Oh, can't they even stop

blowing whistles at us

when we're in bed?

Did you hear that, guys?

That train's taking out the ones

that's finished their training.

Boy, they're off to

action somewhere.

[Whistle blows]

It's the Shanghai Express.

That's what they

calls it here.

All right, you guys. We

got a tough day tomorrow.

Now, shut up and get to sleep!

Man:
Good night,

sargey-wargey!

Did I say a tough

day tomorrow?

Well, I mean a very

tough day tomorrow.

Soldier:
Hut, hut, hut...

[Knock knock]

Oh, hello, sergeant.

Hargrove, you can't

be on KP again.

No?

Hargrove, how many days have

you been in the army now?

And how many days have

you been on KP now?

Ohhh, Hargrove!

But I've never

been on KP twice

in the same day, sarge!

Well, if it were

possible, you would be.

What was it this time?

[Whispering] It really

wasn't my fault at all.

It's all right, Hargrove.

The corporal isn't here

to defend himself.

You can tell all

the lies you like.

Well, I was drilling away,

and out of the clear sky,

for no reason at all,

the corporal slings me

over to mess for KP.

You really think he's just

down on you, Hargrove?

Well, I hate to make an

accusation like that, sergeant,

but it must be...

weren't you late falling out

for reveille this morning?

Well, I...

weren't your leggings

on backwards?

Yes, but...

I know. You went

back to fix them.

When you came back, you didn't

have your field hat on!

Yes, sir.

And another thing, Hargrove.

Why do you say "sir" to

non-commissioned officers

and forget to salute

commissioned officers?

I don't mean to, sergeant...

and when you do remember

to salute an officer,

you click your heels

and bow from the waist

as if you were a member

of the German army!

Well, I get confused!

Hey, Hargrove! How you coming

with the garbage cans?

Oh, fine!

Remember, Hargrove.

I want to be able to see my

face in them garbage cans.

No accounting for

taste, is there, sir?

Not "sir," Hargrove.

Just "sergeant," or

just nothing at all,

but please, not "sir"!

No, sergeant.

Will there be anything

else, sergeant?

There better not be, Hargrove.

[Sighs]

How's the platoon

coming, sergeant?

Whipping the boys into shape?

Oh, pretty good.

I'd like to get out on the rifle

range in a hurry, though.

What's the rush? The

platoon's pretty green.

I think maybe Hargrove

might get himself shot...

accidentally.

Then the outfit would

be in great shape.

Oh, him.

Yeah, him.

I been watching that kid.

He's got an idea that this

is some kind of a picnic.

Well, he don't get away with

that stuff in this battery.

Well, you know how it is.

They're a bunch of kids.

Sometimes they don't

quite realize...

they gotta realize.

They gotta realize

we're fighting a war.

The army didn't take them in to build

them up and then let them loaf.

We're going to turn this crew

into fighting men, heldon.

Sometimes I wonder.

Say, maybe I could ease

Hargrove out of the battery.

That is, if you and

the old man help...

not a chance. He

stays and he works

and he gets to be a

pretty good soldier

even if we have to mash him flat

and start off from scratch.

Ok. You keep a miracle

up your sleeve

for emergencies.

Right shoulder, ho!

Hut! Arms!

Left shoulder, arms!

Order, arms!

Right shoulder, arms!

Order, arms!

At ease, Hargrove.

There. You did that perfectly.

Yes, sir. Uh, yes, sergeant.

That's fine, Hargrove.

Now, what else did we

learn today, Hargrove?

I must not salute the

non-commissioned officers.

I must salute the

commissioned officers.

Thank you, Hargrove.

Now, that's enough

of the rifle.

All right, now get this.

We'll pretend I'm a

commissioned officer.

I've just come along the

drill field. Ready?

Yes, sir.

[Clack]

No, Hargrove, no!

You don't click your heels

and bow when you salute.

Oh, I'm sorry,

sergeant, I forgot.

All right.

Now I'm a non-commissioned

officer again.

Oh, they busted you, huh?

Later on we'll have

the jokes, Hargrove.

Now, how do you...

uh-oh.

That's all.

Yes, sir.

[Whispering] Now, look.

Whatever you do,

don't ball me up.

That's the old man and I'm

not supposed to be out here

drilling you alone like this.

Now, remember, you salute.

You don't click your heels.

You don't bow.

Yes, sir.

You don't say sir. I

mean, you do say sir...

you're confusing me!

You say sir to me... to him...

not to me... you s...

uh... uh...

[Both click heels]

Where did you learn that

salute, sergeant? Vienna?

I'm sorry, I was

just out here...

I mean, I'm sorry, sir!

All right, sergeant,

don't shout.

At ease, Hargrove.

Thank you, sir.

I was just giving

Private Hargrove

a little personal,

extra instruction.

He found some of the

drills difficult.

I was trying to keep the

squad up to the mark.

Sir.

Are you all right, sergeant?

Haven't you been out

in the sun too long?

Good work, Hargrove.

I like your spirit.

Oh, thank you, sir.

And I'd like to see

you in my office

in the morning, sergeant.

Yes, sir.

Will there be

anything else, sir?

Not "sir," Hargrove!

You say "sir" to the

commissioned officers,

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