See Here, Private Hargrove Page #4

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they say, "come and find it."

Well, we want you boys to

feel this is your home.

But you're sure you won't

get sick or anything.

We only get sick

from not eating.

You go to work on these.

Good night, boys!

Good night. Good night.

Oh, miss!

If we could escort

you someplace,

please feel free

to call upon us.

Yeah. It isn't safe walking

around here at night.

Wolves, you know.

I'm beginning to know.

Yes, I wish you

would escort me.

This is a genuine

pleasure, miss, uh...

Well, here we are, boys.

Thank you so much.

[Laughs sheepishly]

[Clears throat]

Hey, fellas! Who's that girl?

Oh, her? Well, she was just...

ow!

I beg your pardon.

What was that?

The girl you were just talking

to, that got into the bus.

Yeah? Oh, her! Yeah.

Oh, well, you know that Date

Bureau I was organizing?

Well, that's one of the

cuties I got lined up for it.

Oh! That's for me.

Fix it up, will you?

Well, she's our most

popular number.

She'd cost you quite a bit.

Oh, now, look, fellas, who cares

about money at a time like...

how much?

Well, a date for

Saturday night, say,

would cost you 5 bucks.

5 bucks?!

I had to go to a

lot of trouble

to get this thing

organized, you know.

I got a big overhead...

advertising, publicity...

Operation expenses...

Ok, ok.

Uh, Esty, mark down one

date for Private Hargrove

for Saturday night

with number 18.

Number 18?

Don't I get to call her

by her name for 5 bucks?

In due time. Mustn't

rush things, you know.

Well, you certainly

rushed for my 5 bucks.

Well, that's a different

thing entirely!

One is love and the

other is money.

And never the

twain shall meet.

You got it?

Hargrove, number 18,

Saturday night.

On behalf of the Fort Bragg

Date Bureau, L.T.D.,

I want to impress

upon you the fact

that the bureau expects

you to conduct yourself

like a gentleman at all times.

But if you kiss her, that's 50

cents extra for us.

Nah, we'll toss that in

with the date this time.

Say, uh, don't be surprised

if Miss Halliday

is just a bit

standoffish at first.

Yeah, yeah, ok, ok. And thanks a

lot for the ammunition, fellas.

Not another word. Payday's plenty

of time to thank me...

And pay me.

Oh, yes. Ahem.

Well, here you are, kid.

Good luck.

Well...

So long, fellas.

Gee, Mulvehill, do

you think we ought

to let him barge in

on a strange girl?

She might have a brother...

a big brother.

Hargrove might get hurt.

Don't give it another thought.

It's all taken care of.

Really?

You fixed it up with the girl?

No, no. I, uh...

I sold Hargrove

an accident insurance policy.

Yes?

Good evening, sir.

I'm calling on Miss

Carol Halliday.

Come in.

Thank you.

Come inside.

Thank you.

Have a chair.

Oh, thank you.

Carol is expecting you?

Oh, yes, sir.

What name?

Private Hargrove, sir.

Private Marion Hargrove,

"D" Battery,

First Battalion,

First Regiment,

Field Artillery Replacement

Training Center,

Fort Bragg, North Carolina.

United States Army?

Yes, sir.

I'll tell her.

Thank you.

Carol?

Yes, Uncle George?

There's a soldier here to see

you... Private Marion Hargrove,

Battery "D", First Battalion,

First Regiment, et cetera,

North Carolina.

Who?

Private Marion Hargrove,

Battery "D", First Regiment...

never mind. I'm

coming right down.

She'll be right down.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, good evening,

Miss Halliday.

Oh... Good evening.

Uh, did you want to see

me about something?

Uh, yeah. I'm Private

Hargrove... Your date.

Thank you. My what?

Hargrove:
Uh...

I'm from the... You know...

The Date Bureau.

I don't know what

you're talking about.

Mulvehill and Esty, the fellas

who run the Date Bureau...

you know them, don't you?

Yeah, but you got

to know them!

They sold me this date!

They sold you a date with me?

Yeah. Paid $5.00. $5.00?!

They said you were their

most expensive girl.

Carol:
Of all the

unmitigated army nerve!

Do you think girls are

sheep, cattle, horses...

No, ma'am.

To be traded in the

marketplace like so many...

no, ma'am.

You can have these back!

And there's the door.

Hargrove:
Yes, ma'am.

Heh heh.

Now, just a moment.

I'm leaving, sir. I just...

wait! You, too, Carol.

Carol, I'm a lawyer,

and it's plain to me

that Private Hargrove

is the innocent victim

of circumstance...

circumstance and the designs

of a couple of army chiselers.

Yes, sir.

Now, your honor,

I maintain that my client

here has committed no crime

except that of admiring

a strange girl...

the inalienable right of every

man in the armed forces.

That's what we're

fighting for, sir.

Exactly! And, in

his naive way,

my client has paid this

girl a great compliment

by forking over 10%

of his monthly pay,

not counting the extra cost

of flowers and candy

for the privilege.

The defense rests.

Counsel has some very

important letters to write.

He just remembered.

[Laughing]

Oh, you've got a rose in

your hair. It looks funny.

Oh. Oh, a thorn!

I'll fix you up a bit.

Oh, thank you.

Oh!

Well, I'll be an M.P.'s uncle.

In my arms, in my arms

Ain't I ever gonna get

a bundle of charms?

Comes the dawn,

I'll be gone

I've just got to have a

honey holdin' me tight

You can take me whirlin'

If I've got to

go to Berlin

Give me a girl in

my arms tonight

In my arms, in my arms

Ain't I never gonna get

a girl in my arms?

In my arms, in my arms

Ain't I never gonna get

a bundle of charms?

Comes the dawn,

I'll be gone

I've just got to have

a honey holdin' me...

Take it, Bob.

Are you kidding?

You can take me whirlin'

If I'm a-gonna

go to Berlin

Give me a girl in

my arms tonight

In my arms, in my arms

Ain't I never gonna get

a girl in my arms?

In my arms, in my arms

Ain't I never gonna get

a bundle of charms?

Comes the dawn,

I'll be gone

And I thank you for the

many letters you'll write

As for something nice

and cute and female

I'll never get

it in the v-mail

Give me a girl in

my arms tonight

You can keep your shaving

cream and lotion

If I'm a-gonna

cross the ocean...

Give me a girl in

my arms tonight

Well, I think the Fort Bragg

Date Bureau is quite a thing.

I like the service. Don't you?

I'd hate to give them

any references, but...

Yes, I think it's quite

an institution.

Uh, I could probably get them

to make the same arrangements

for next Saturday

night at a discount.

Why don't you deal directly

with the manufacturer...

And eliminate the middleman?

Fine!

Next Saturday night, then.

Yes... If I'm still here.

If you're here? Where

else could you be?

Well, New York, just

to mention one place.

That's my home, you know.

Fayetteville, North Carolina,

is only a stopover.

Oh. Well, let me put

it another way, then.

Will you try to be here

next Saturday night?

You better say yes,

because if you don't,

I'll have to blow up the

railroad station and the airport

and the waterworks

to keep you here,

and that's bound to interfere

with my career in the army.

Well, to keep the

peace, I'll try.

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