Seems Like Old Times Page #10

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Ira, he came here

to give himself up.

The man sleeps under my bed,

drives my car, wears my tuxedo.

- I just wanna meet him.

Hold it right there!

You're under arrest!

Police are on their way.

Didn't like the chicken, huh?

Nick, this is Ira, my husband.

Ira.

Nick

Oh, of course.

We've met before.

You and Glenda

were in the bed above me.

Yes, I know.

Are you crazy?

Are you out of your mind?

Who's gonna serve

the coffee now?

I think you've

unraveled, Glenda.

I think your spool is unwinding.

Let's just get through the dinner.

We'll worry about him later.

- Chester, take care of him.

- Mmm-hmm.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Is it time for the

second group to go?

Uh, Stanley

Uh, before this goes

any further,

I think I personally owe you

an enormous apology.

For what?

Nicholas, the butler.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I know how it is with help.

He's not help.

He's Glenda's ex-husband.

You mean the one that's wanted

for robbery in Carmel?

That's the one.

I see.

Well, why this man is serving

us dinner has go be

one of the most interesting

explanations I've ever heard.

Exactly. Glenda,

you wanna explain it?

No.

Excuse me, Governor.

Mr. Parks, may I have a word

with you, sir?

I'm busy now. Later, Nicholas.

I'm afraid it won't wait

'til later, sir.

All right.

If you'll excuse me a moment.

What happened to his eye?

Uh, Ira punched him out

in the kitchen.

No wonder you have

trouble with your help.

If you'll excuse me

for a moment.

What was that?

Uh, that I imagine was

Nicholas punching Ira out.

There goes Fred.

- Oh, my God!

Somebody do something.

I do that because

I'm the governor.

- That's why I voted for you, Stanley.

- Thank you.

She shouldn't be in there

by herself.

Would you like a cigar, Stanley?

I'd love one.

You rang, madame?

IRA:
Are you asleep?

GLENDA:
Of course not.

IRA:
What are you

thinking about?

GLENDA:
Same thing

you're thinking about.

IRA:
Does he still mean

anything to you, Glen?

GLENDA:
Please don't

ask me that.

IRA:
Too late, I already did.

Does he, Glen?

He's my client. I don't think I

should be discussing him with you.

IRA:
I love you.

I'm gonna do everything I can

to fight for you.

I love you too,

and I'm gonna do everything

I can to fight for you.

WOMAN:
Nicholas J. Gardenia.

Step forward, please.

JUDGE:
Oh, hello, Mrs. Parks.

- Good morning, Your Honor.

- What have you got for me today?

Ah-ha.

Your clients have moved up

to the big-time, I see.

JUDGE:
Bank robbery, breaking

and entering, stolen car,

assault on

the District Attorney.

Mr. Parks?

Haven't seen you in a

courtroom for a long time.

Special interest in this case?

It's all in my brief,

Your Honor.

Well, it's quite unusual to have the

defending and the prosecuting attorney's

married to each other.

As well as the accused.

What's that?

Uh, Mr. Gardenia was

my husband prior to Mr. Parks.

I'm sorry I didn't hear that.

Can you speak up?

I was married to him

before I was married to him.

JUDGE:
I see.

Can't say that I blame you

for not speaking up.

Marriages are all

in the record, Your Honor.

What is this breaking

and entering charge?

The accused is charged

with breaking and entering

into a private home,

located at 242 Lotus Drive

in Brentwood.

Happens to be my residence.

- And yours as well, Mrs. Parks?

- Naturally.

- JUDGE:
And you're filing the similar complaint?

- I'm not.

You don't mind him

breaking and entering?

The accused came there

seeking my help.

At your invitation?

No. But he had

no place else to go.

The police were chasing him.

Mrs. Parks, you mean to tell me you

aided and abetted a known criminal?

I asked him to leave

but he pulled a gun on me.

He threatened your life?

No, not really. There weren't

any bullets in the gun.

Well, how do you know?

He told me.

You told her?

I didn't wanna scare her.

We used to be married.

Mr. Parks, where were you

when all this was happening?

I was upstairs in bed, Your honor.

It was 2:
00 in the morning.

Well, weren't you concerned

about your wife?

No.

She said she was going to do

some gardening.

The rabbits

were eating her corn.

Your Honor, uh

This is the type of, uh, testimony

that on the surface seems quite silly.

On the surface, in the middle

and on the bottom.

I see your client stole your car, Mrs.

Parks. Is that right?

No, it's not.

I saw him steal my car.

And I saw him bring it back.

You wanna take a whack at it?

I always thought it best to

stay out of family quarrels.

My client did not steal my car.

He was lying on the floor

when I drove away.

My husband was upset,

because his car was taken by

the Indians who work for us.

The Indians

Yes, Your Honor. You dismissed

that charge last week.

I did. Must've been

saving my strength for today.

JUDGE:
Mr. Gardenia, will you

answer a question for me please.

If I can be of any help on this

case, Judge, it's my pleasure.

Mr. Gardenia, were you apprehended

or did you surrender?

- Surrendered.

- He was apprehended.

He was apprehended

after he surrendered.

He didn't surrender to me.

Therefore he was apprehended.

He was going to surrender

to my husband after dinner.

I told him to wait

in the kitchen.

And did you wait

in the kitchen, Mr. Gardenia?

No. I had to serve dinner.

Wait a minute.

You served dinner to

Mr. and Mrs. Parks?

And the Governor.

The gov

Our governor?

I didn't ask him.

He looked like our governor.

You Honor, I think our guest list is

totally irrelevant to the charges.

I mean, if we're gonna

get into such trivialities,

we might as well discuss

what was served.

Chicken pepperoni, Your Honor.

The Governor seemed to enjoy it

if has any bearing on the case.

Hold it, hold it, just

Will you hold it?

Are you telling me

that while every police officer

in the state of California

was looking for you,

you were serving dinner to the District

Attorney, his wife and the Governor?

How is that possible?

Well, you have to prepare

everything in advance.

He was serving because

the other butler got sick.

- Me, Your Honor.

I know that face.

Where do I know that face?

From here. It's mine.

Wasn't he up before me

on a hubcap

That's right, Your Honor. But

I'm working for Mrs. Parks now.

JUDGE:
Tell me something,

Mrs. Parks.

Do you take just from me

or from other judges, too?

What?

I'm doing something here.

I think you and I will have a

long talk tonight, Glenda.

I look forward to it.

Anything special

you'd like for dinner?

Would both counsels

please approach the bench?

And the accused as well.

I think this might interest him.

Something

fascinating has just come up.

Which in this case is redundant.

But may I suggest

that we drop the petty issues,

and just deal with the bank

- That's acceptable to me, Your honor.

- I'm all for speedy justice.

- Whatever my attorney says.

- Get your arm off her shoulder.

All right, Bailiff,

bring them in.

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