Self Storage

1

[ominous music]

[rattling and clanging sounds]

[machine beeping]

- F***'S GOING ON?

WHAT THE F***'S GOING ON?

- ZIP TIES.

WEAPONS-GRADE.

- WHO THE F*** ARE YOU?

- MOVING STRAPS.

PRESSURE TESTED:

AT 1,000 POUNDS.

- WHAT THE F***?

- [chuckling]

- [grunting]

- THE HARDER YOU FIGHT,

THE FASTER THE SEDATIVE COURSES

THROUGH YOUR BODY.

[rumbling]

- [gasping]

MOTHERF***ER!

- [laughing]

- SHH, SHH, SHH,

PLEASE, MAN.

I GOT MONEY.

I GOT LOTS OF MONEY.

YEAH.

PLEASE, JUST LET ME GO.

PLEASE, JUST LET ME GO.

I'VE NEVER SEEN YOUR FACE,

MAN.

PLEASE!

[rustling]

PLEASE!

- I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU

A WHILE NOW.

BIG, STRONG GUY.

20/20 VISION.

EATS RIGHT.

AND A NONSMOKER.

- NO, PLEASE!

- YOU ARE A REAL FIND,

MY FRIEND.

- PLEASE! PLEASE!

PLEASE!

LET ME GO!

PLEASE, NO!

NO!

NO!

[beeping]

- HAVE SWEET DREAMS.

[gate clanging]

- NO!

NO!

PLEASE!

NO!

[alarm clock ringing]

[driving rock music]

- WHAT IS

THIS CASH PARADE

SUNDAY MORNING RAIN

FALLING DOWN ON THEM

AND WHO IS THERE TO BLAME

- RAIN ON

THE MAGAZINES:

PROMOTING:

THE PIPE DREAM SCHEME

HOW THEY BUILD:

THEIR OWN ESTEEM

TO BE THE DREAM:

TRYING TO FIND:

MY PEACE OF MIND

REALIZE:

THAT I'M SO ENTWINED

YEAH:

NEED TO RUSH:

NEED TO RUSH:

GOT ALL THE TIME

IN THE WORLD:

NEED TO RUN:

- I NEED TO RUN

- NEED TO RUN

- I NEED TO RUN

- CAN'T GET IN LINE

WITH THE COLOR-WHEEL BLUES

I NEED A RUSH:

NEED A RUSH:

ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD

PROJECTED IMAGE:

ON THE SCREEN:

- NO ATTENTION

NO ATTENTION:

- SOOTHING, TRANQUIL,

AND OBSCENE:

- NO ATTENTION

NO ATTENTION:

- I SHUDDER

I CLOSE MY EYES:

AND WHEN I FINALLY

SEE MYSELF:

WHEN I'M RUNNING,

RUNNING FOR HELP

BECAUSE THERE'S NOBODY ELSE

YOU SEE,

MY FEET KEEP SLEEPING

- HI-OH!

- NOTHING CHANGES

DAY TO DAY:

ALLOW FOR MY NEED TO ESCAPE

YEAH, YEAH

I NEED TO RUSH:

I NEED TO RUSH:

I'VE GOT ALL THE TIME

IN THE WORLD:

I NEED TO RUN:

- I NEED TO RUN

- I NEED TO RUN

- I NEED TO RUN

- CAN'T FALL BACK,

CAN'T KEEP TREADING WATER

I NEED A RUSH:

I NEED A RUSH:

ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD

ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD

- SH*T.

[dramatic music on TV]

- REBECCA CONWAY,

AGE 26, MOTHER OF TWO,

IS NOW MISSING:

FOR THREE DAYS.

THIS IS THE SIXTH MISSING PERSON

IN THE TRI-STATE AREA

IN THE PAST TWO MONTHS.

AUTHORITIES BELIEVE

THE ABDUCTIONS ARE RELATED

AND ARE WORKING AROUND THE CLOCK

CHASING DOWN ANY AND ALL

POSSIBLE LEADS.

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION

ON THE WHEREABOUTS OF REBECCA

OR OF ANY OF THE OTHER VICTIMS

MENTIONED IN OUR BROADCAST,

PLEASE CONTACT OUR HOTLINE.

LIVE FROM:

THE WOODHAVEN POLICE STATION,

I'M PAMELA WILLIAMS.

- TREVOR?

COME ON, MAN, WHY DO YOU GO TO BE DOING THIS SH*T?

- BAM!

- [sighs]

- [exhales forcefully]

GOT YOU AGAIN.

- CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU'RE A TRUE NINJA MASTER.

F***ING WEIRDO.

- JAKE, I NEED TO SEE YOU

IN MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.

- WHAT THE F***?

- WHAT?

WHEN?

OH, THAT'S JUST A LITTLE SOONER

THAN WE EXPECTED,

BUT I'M SURE WE

CAN ACCOMMODATE YOU.

ALL RIGHT,

WE'LL MAKE IT WORK.

THANKS.

AND HAVE A NICE NIGHT.

WHAT?

YOU GOT IT.

YEAH, SURE.

WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

F***ING PEOPLE.

[groans]

- YOU HEAR ABOU THESE ABDUCTIONS?

IT'S ALL OVER THE NEWS.

I MEAN, THAT SH*T CAN HAPPEN

RIGHT IN YOUR BACKYARD.

- YEAH, DO ME A FAVOR.

PRESS PLAY.

PUT TOGETHER:

A LITTLE HIGHLIGHT REEL.

BEST OF JAKE.

HEY.

NICE SWING.

- THANKS.

- AH, JAKE.

[laughing]

THAT'S ATTRACTIVE.

- YEAH.

COME ON.

- WISH WE HAD AUDIO.

OOH, THAT'S GOT TO HURT.

THAT'S GOT TO HURT BAD.

- YEAH.

IT'S ALL FAIRLY INCRIMINATING.

- WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE...

[chuckles]

SOUND LIKE MY F***ING FATHER.

WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,

I WAS GETTING SHOT AT.

THAT WAS A PRETTY TOUGH JOB.

NOW, YOU ON THE OTHER HAND,

HAVE A VERY SIMPLE JOB,

AND YOU STILL GOT TO BUST...

[thumping]

BUST MY BALLS,

ACTING LIKE A RETARD.

- I'M SORRY, WALTER.

- LOOK, I GET IT.

YOU'RE IN THE WOODS

LATE AT NIGHT,

NOBODY'S AROUND,

AND YOU FIGURE:

YOU CAN JERK OFF ALL NIGHT.

- WELL...

- YOU ARE A GROWN ASS MAN,

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, LITTLE BUDDY.

START ACTING LIKE IT,

ALL RIGHT?

I MEAN, YOU SEE ALL THOSE

CAMERAS I HAVE HERE, HUH?

YOU SEE THEM ALL?

YOU THINK THEY'RE

FOR DECORATION?

I'M ALWAYS WATCHING, JAKE.

- I'M SORRY, WALT.

- WHAT THE F***, JAKE?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO

IF YOU WERE ME, HMM?

- WHAT WOULD I DO

IF I WERE YOU?

I'D PROBABLY NOT FIRE ME?

LOOK, COME ON, WALT.

YOU KNOW I LOVE IT HERE.

- GET OFF ME,

YOU LITTLE WEIRDO.

JAKE, YOU KNOW

YOU'RE LIKE FAMILY.

I MEAN, SH*T,

YOU'VE BEEN WORKING HERE

SINCE YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

BUT I'M TIRED OF WAITING

FOR YOU TO GROW UP.

IT WAS FUNNY BACK THEN

WHEN YOU WERE A KID.

IT'S F***ING PATHETIC NOW,

PAL.

I MEAN, JESUS, JAKE,

YOU LIVE HERE, MAN.

DO--DO YOU BRING WOMEN HERE?

COME ON, DUDE.

GROW UP.

AND GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE.

OH, YEAH.

ONE MORE THING.

IF YOU SEE TREVOR,

TELL HIM I NEED HIM.

HE WON'T ANSWER HIS PHONE.

- JESUS CHRIST,

I CAN'T DO IT TONIGHT.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S OUT OF MY F***ING HANDS.

IT-IT CAN'T BE--

EVEN IF I WANTED TO,

I COULDN'T DO IT.

IT-IT'S TIMING ISSUES.

IT'S INTERNATIONAL

SHIPPING LABELS.

[sniffing]

AND IT'S THE TSAs.

IT'S THE F***ING TSAs.

WHAT?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY.

THAT IS A LOT OF F***ING MONEY.

I WILL CALL THE MAJOR.

[panting]

THAT IS...

A LOT OF F***ING MONEY.

[sniffs]

AH!

[banging]

[thudding]

- HUH!

[Flight of the Valkyries plays]

HYAH! HA!

[dramatic orchestral music]

HYAH! HYAH!

- BOSS WANTS TO SEE YOU.

[imitates gunshot]

I WIN.

[exhales forcefully]

- HELLO, DELIVERY!

ALWAYS ON THE LAST STOP

OF THE DAY.

F*** IT.

I'LL SIGN IT MYSELF.

[tense music cue]

WHOA, DUDE.

WHOA.

YOU SCARED THE--

OOH.

- NEED A SIGNATURE?

- YEAH, THIS ONE CAME BACK

UNCLAIMED.

SO WHEN SOMEONE FLAKES

ON THE RENT,

YOU GUYS HAVE AUCTIONS

LIKE ON THOSE TV SHOWS?

- [chuckles]

I DON'T WATCH THAT CRAP.

- OH.

MY WIFE LOVES THAT SH*T.

SO WHAT DO YOU DO WITH ALL

THE STUFF:

WHEN SOMEONE FLAKES ON YOU?

- I HAVE THIS KID

WHO WORKS FOR ME.

CUTS THE LOCK.

I TOSS IT.

- AH, COME ON.

YOU COULD BE THROWING AWAY

A TREASURE.

- YOU WATCH TOO MUCH TV.

IT ALWAYS ENDS UP BEING JUNK.

- YEAH?

ALL RIGHT, WELL,

HAVE A GOOD DAY.

[doorbell chimes]

HEY, REBECCA.

OH, REBECCA.

[sighs]

THANK YOU FOR THE SACRIFICES

YOU'VE MADE...

AND FOR THE ONE:

YOU'RE ABOUT TO MAKE.

NO LIFE IS EVER GIVEN IN VAIN.

DEATH BEFORE SURRENDER.

HERE WE GO.

HOLD STILL, BABY.

HOLD STILL.

OKAY, BREATHE.

BREATHE.

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD,

GOOD, GOOD.

BREATHE.

ISN'T THAT NICE?

ISN'T THAT NICE?

OOH, THAT IS

A BEAUTIFUL INCISION.

HO-HO-HO.

I COULD GIVE F***ING LESSONS.

[knife clicks]

TZA, TZA, TZA, TZA, TZA...

YES!

[sighs]

HERE WE GO.

HERE WE GO.

[clanking]

NICE.

[clattering]

HM.

[beeping]

AH.

WOW.

[machine flatlining]

YEAH, I UNDERSTAND THAT.

BUT WE DON'T USUALLY DEAL

IN THOSE QUANTITIES.

I MEAN, TRADITIONALLY SPEAKING,

IT'S UNWISE TO RUSH

THESE TYPES OF THINGS,

ESPECIALLY WHEN DEALING

WITH THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes